Fire in the belly?............the relief.... antacids.

UNfinished business?...... GUESS THIS

You cannot afford to have a mess in your medicine cabinet!......colourful tablets...

Don't toy with your child's medications!

it's not funny when your throat tickles..... GUESS?

At my age, drugs will only slow me down further........

You don't get allergies just from seafood.........you get allergies from drugs too

Which comes first> The Pill of the meal?.......it should be the meal...meal prompts absorption..thus absorption of drug when it is eaten after the meal.

You cannot get drugs at the drop of a coin.....there are laws controlling their sale and distribution.

Anne Rice is a MEAN writer. she tortured her readers when they cease to read her books. and tortures them further with skillfully persuasion to accept cruelty and death as right.

Maybe we should just fail our tests and end up dead. that way there'll be no fear of failing, no fear of being jobless, no fear for being penniless as there is no need for it.

i'm only half way through Anne rice's sleeping beauty and i cannot calm myself. it's worse that or maybe close to experiencing a horror story....i can't sleep, i'm trembling with fear... with more fear....i can't shake it off, either can i bring myself to speak of it.... i'm silenced.

the bigger one belongs to Amanda.... so nice... given to her by "a friend" .... then misch's ring given to her by her TCHS bf looks small in comparison... and my ring... is nowhere near....

heh.... got this pic from a postcard....publishing maxim mag..

this pic quite blur.... but it's how my blue contacts look.... out of 3 guys, only the colour blind guy could tell i was wearing coloured contacts. bet everybody doesn't know that i've never worn contacts before either

very toned legs of expartiate..... couldn't take anymore pictures of her later... gym didn't allow use of handphones on the whole...

a 3 digit number ABC is divisible by 11 and yields a quotient which is equal to A^2 + B^2 + C^2

Find more than one answer

You are the flower.

Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by

Thursday, October 07, 2004

leoel recommended this love test which is quite accurate....

my results:
1. You are attracted to those who are warm and obedience.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is moods-swing, blow hot and cold in love, vacillate.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.

4. You don't like it when your partner is insecure.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship that you can grow with.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you don't want to be tied down by a steady relationship, you just want to flirt around.

MY Birthday! (on monday)

am very happy, although there were no big parties nor numerous presents. i was very happy to see so many people gather at chatterbox on monday evening to wish me happy birthday. Ling organised everything and got me a delicious chocolate blueberry cake. Dajie and BK are the unexpected people who stayed... next would be alvin, waikit and jielin. Utterly comforted was i, when faith, rena, simin were there too, it showed that i still had them as my friends... i hope i always will.

we went to macs to have dinner after that... enjoyed ourselves...we talked about lots of things...wrong things....disgusting things... but it made as roll around in laughter. (of course we didn't literally roll away at Macs) Felt touched when Cherie got me what she thought was a cheese cake from spinelli.... it was a wonderful finishing touch for an 8 hr lecture day. today she came up with more gifts... a large soup bowl and plate.... perfect for me to whip up meals at the pgp kitchen.... Thanks girl..

Went shopping today.

we bought lots of things. Note: Sim Lim is a very sinful palce to shop at... you spend lots and lots of money there. I bought a new, good, nice black bag and a purple knee-length skirt from Bugis village. and the bag is my christmas present.....bought a massager and CDRs from Sim Lim. CDRs for my sister to rip all the music she wants from her classmates. bought a pair of blue contact lenses.. for fun... have been wanting to get them for more than a year...

went to queensway too, bought another pair of FBT shorts for myself and jeremy's birthday present: a sweater, just so he can wear it on Campus at Munich, though it'll probably be useless at those temperatures. He didn't want me to learn knitting or pick up knitting again or knit anything for him...what to do...

Dun think for a moment that i was the one buying everything. jeremy bought alot more things. he bought an ultra cool and nice sporty backpack for his laptop, the bag has very very good padding. bought earphones, 40GB hard disk and hard disk drive, microphone for his parents to audio conference with him, running shoes, jeans, luggage strap yada yada...that's the best reason why he enjoyed today's shopping.

was clearing my table and i fell upon this note i wrote, from the USP academic symposium which i only attended after Dr Vivian Balakrishnan arrived:

Today attended Academic symposium and found myself totally brainwashed by Vivian. the way he spoke was so smooth, ideas flowed from one to another seamlessly, leading his audience slowly yet steadily to the opinions and points which he wants to convey. i found it hard to concurr any independent thought of my own. I've gained a deeper understanding to the word equality. having a concept of "ah Lian" or "ah Beng" is as good as being prejudiced against coloured people.... against races, against people who subscribe to a religion different as your own. It's worse than discrimination against the poor.

I also didn't know that there's a deeper reason to why Singapore's excessive support for charities etc. not only does it ensure a sense of security among the people, if they become disabled one day, they can count on being taken care of, it also makes a statement to the world, that Singapore does not ill-treat the disabled/handicapped but treat them with respect and kindness. that, all the countries out there in the world should also take a leaf out of Singapore and treat Singapore (a handicapped nation) with respect and kindness. and i didn't think about it this way until Dr Vivian pointed it out.

i find myself in a crisis. Jeremy is leaving in 7 days, i have tests and deadlines to meet, my dance lessons are ending...seems that all my pleasures are going to be taken away from me in a matter of days.

is it a coincidence that my birthday is just around the corner, signalling to me that i have to mature whether i like it or not. and every year when i mature, i would have to meet my ex, my first love actually. it's not really torture but something close. have i mentioned that i still can't help feeling jealous about jx and him. but still, every year, i bring myself to meet him, to check if he's still living, to see whether i can get over him, and shamelessly hoping to hear news of his breakup. nonetheless, we never touch on these issues when we meet, only small talk about books and maybe music. that's all. how sad.

Have been wanting to blog for the whole week.... just take i've either been going out or "studying" in my room that i haven't had the real time to sit down and blog. and Stats prac lessson is the best time... esp when your lecturer wepeats himself all the time.

Went to orchard on sunday night. i'm a naughty girl, i told my mum i'm coming back to school for term break to study. but nevertheless, i "benefitted" quite a bit from the outing. i wore the usp camp t shirt out.... and jeremy couldn't stand it. and this is coming from an engin guy who dresses shabbily all the time. he justifies himself saying that although he dresses shabbily, he never wears something so ugly....(no offence to the designer of the camp t-shirt). we hunted up and down far east plaza to get me a suitable set of top and skirt so that i don't have to be such an eye sore. so yay, for once the guy willingly shops with you... hahaha. at the end of the day, managed to buy this asymmetric leaf skirt and my adnce latino skirt, and a rose black top.... then we went to kino to buy books. bought $110 worth of books so i got him the kino membership card so that he saves about $10....

(alright, lecturer is chasing us out because he wants to end early... shall continue...)

[continue...]
so... that's in part, my present to jeremy for his birthday... but really, i never know what to get him. he takes care of all his needs, he needs it he buys... maybe not all, he tries to make me pay for his newly acquired books... but it's so pointless contributing to his 100 plus books.

maybe it's my laziness, but i think it doesn't take a special occasion to buy him stuff, i agree that it's very nice and sweet to buy him treats and presents for a good reason. and come to think of it... i don't shower him gifts.. so i guess i do have to put in effort to do something for him especially when he's leaving next week... so soon.... 8 more days only. the reality and totality of it still hasn't sunk in.

many other things happened along the week... but all seems to trivial to be remembered or brought up. Not when i've just completed reading Blood canticle by Anne Rice...if i'm not wrong, her latest vampire chronicles book. (poor thing, her husband is dead and yet she's so capable of love, especially the kind which i crave, the kind which she elucidates in her books... that's why i'm hooked. then why aren't i hooked by all those romance novels out there... i guess Anne rice writes of something more carnal....and yet without all the carnal action. writes of love... love of beautiful people, love of intelligent people, the way she expresses her characters, makes me deeply in love with them, the way they should be. the use of opposites: having a self proclaimed selfish fiend deny selfish possession of the lover he loved too much.

then there's the prefect husband, probably the representative of anne rice's own husband...but yet fails terribly at his role...having an affair, not being able to console her when she's terribly distraught..and not being able to sire an children in his wife. so helpless....so pitiful.

i find that Anne rice's ideology about beautiful people has affected me a lot... so much so that it's one of the traits which i look for in my partners/lovers/boyfriends/crushes. and that of vanity (thinks about the coincidental theme of my big success video art, which is also vanity)...doing things for the sake of vanity, not only for looks, but of what people perceive of you. you do good to glorify yourself for others to see.

i guess it's clear rite now that i want the passionate lover... the passionate Blood Child, the brat prince Lestat. but try as i might, i cannot be the kind of target of such affection. i have nothing in my character nor ability that warrants such rupturous love.

Thursday: Suddenly feel like celebrating my approximately one-year relationship with jeremy. We totally forgot to take note of dates etc. i'm not the kind who remembers dates, i remember events. something between the Welfare com bash (11/9) last year and the bizcom bash/my birthday (27/9), we got together.... so...thursday being my free day, i decided to treat him to fusion, nice food and ambience, but cannot go out of school, he has lessons later. and it so happened that it was raining... in a way good, coz i brought an umbrella and i have "good" reasons to hold on to him while walking to fusion, in the rain.

Friday: went out to watch DODGEBALL after 8 hours of lecture. very lame and stupid show... especially the "bai hao ren"....but it was a good luagh... worth the money, you all should go watch it and de-stress.

Delicious Oriental Dory Gratin from Fusion... Josh tried it on saturday... very nice... cheese and all... too bad i cannot eat it....but it's very nice...then we played pool. he sunk 6 balls before i even sink any... for a moment there, i tot i'm going to get whooped....haha but in the end, we were both fight for the black ball. needless to say, Josh won... then playing badminton...but had to end prematurely coz i had to go home...so sorry that Josh lost his fountain pen. i still can't find it.

By getting friends of a friend to meet and gather.... somehow, our table at tango's grew from 3 people to 12... including latecomers...then i bumped into a sec sch friend of my jc classmate.... how cool is that???

Prefer the Maguerita... how to spell? more diluted...and has salt all around the glass...

Tried Lychee Martini at Tango's... lychee i like... martini...bitter...baaaad....

> > >Today's lesson - Girls must be convinced,so learn to promote
> yourself -
> > >convince them that 'Engineers are the Best Boyfriends'
> > >Let me tell you why girls should eventually marry an
> > >engineer over a Law, Management, Arts or Medical School
> > >Graduate. He has three distinct advantages over the
> > >rest of the graduates.
> > >
> > >Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle
> > >
> > >An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle.
> > >At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable
> job
> > >that gives him a high income to own a car, invest, have a
> > >comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too. Law
> > >graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law
> > >firm, most management graduates have just failed
> > >on their first business plan, the acts graduate is still looking
> for
> > >a job, and the medical school graduate is still living
> > >in a hospital.
> > >
> > >Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness
> > >
> > >An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable
> > >amount of his time and effort to understand you.
> > >Engineers strain really really hard to understand
> > >their work. You can believe that they will try really
> > >really hard to understand women too, just like how
> > >they understand their work, once they believe that you
> > >are the one. So even if they don't understand you
> > >initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they
> > >still do not understand, they will figure out the
> > >correct method to keep you happy
> > >(e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.)
> > >And once they find out the secret formula, they will
> > >just keep on repeating it so that the desired
> > >results appear. Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with
> > >you, the Management graduate who will try to
> > >control your spending, the Arts graduate who
> > >will 'change major', and the medical school graduate who
> > >will operate on you. And you know what, it's really so
> > >easy to make engineers believe that you are
> > >the 'one'. Say that you like one of their projects and they
> > >will be hooked to you forever.
> > >
> > >Advantage 3:
> > >
> > >An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.
> > >Let me first tell you what is wrong with
> > >the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie
> > >about everything, management graduates will cheat your
> > >money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably
> > >just look like another cadaver to the medical school
> > >graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy
> > >to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too
> > >dumb to lie to you about that. Hence, an engineer is
> > >the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find -
> > >rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and
> > >please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to
> > >lie to you. So girls, why procrastinate?
> > >
> > >Get an ENGINEER as your boyfriend!

Today is a happy day

i changed my laptop cursor to an angel and the waiting cursor to a peeling banana....ahahhaha...
and i bumped into this guy i got to know from dance class right after my practical and we went to the central library to study together. then i met weijie, who's the super busy man 3 times in a row... not pre mediated. first time i saw him at the sci bus stop then after that at the arts canteen and after that at the central library. although for the first 2 times i failed to call out to him and get his attention. nonetheless, he promised me a lunch date tomorrow. then some time in between my studying at central library, Colin called to say they are celebrating Emily's birthday at Macs... so i went over to be treated with chocolate fudge sundae.

later, still charged on my present happiness, i'll be playing badminton with peixin and jeremy and after that go for dance class.... hope everything goes well for today and continues to go well tmr....

this is our fav Prof Lim some 20 years ago.... haha

the long awaited picture of misch looking liek algae....

Bettie Boop

Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla

just for the record, i love to admire myself.

my hairdo for Union ball... held up by one of those hairpins from chinese drama serials with stick on flowers over the rest of my hair.

Some star crystal tattoo...looked really cool.

Men's napkins

did you know that napkins at Ritz are folded into swans for ladies and shirts for guys?

yup, my favourite target for funny pictures, Leoel, holding fruits all in the redish hue.

Also from USP Dnd, the theme of Bollywood, a Beautiful lady, Anne

Jeremy and me at USP Dnd... before post this before anybody accuses me for posting too many pictures of Leoel.

my current wallpaper, also the air-coned canteen's wallpaper, only the background that is...

cute cute Amanda and Jasmine (she very skilled one leh)

Yimei, bench mate, using falling sphere viscometer

nothing to do.. so went around taking pictures... beauty queen of pharmacy...

Josh never fails to reply a poem with a poem. this is fro m him.

"Artist, desperate
To capture a fresh essence
Paints with waters, just. "

desperate implies having nothing, painting with water draws Nothing.

just returned from the tv room. saw zhonghe and this girl he's been hanging out with the whole day, inside. thinkest me, they are going to be a couple. watched parliment news and singapore idol results... very boring... then played bridge. all this after i returned from the gym. quite satisfied with myself. i even read thru all my law tut before going to the gym and did laundry and folded all the clothes after that. =)

for a start, after a long break from the gym, 40 mins workout is quite ok lah... realise that my fitness really cannot make it... 5 mins on the step master, and i cannot take it anymore. did 15 mins on the stationary bike and then 1.6km.... think must go and swim again... my arms are accumulating fats again... and i want to get nicer thighs...

i think i'm really growing old... my taste of radio stations have changed from perfect 10 to class 95.

oh shit... deleted a whole lot of crap i typed in about last night's dance escapade. whatever. shall whine about the amount of work i need to do and at the same time make a list:

econs term paper proposal
econs response paper
pharmacy law project powerpoint presentation
physical pharmacy research summary
lsm tut
pharm law tut
dispensing practical report
dosage form practical report.... die.... seems like a lot... i better get started.

got so angry today, my face muscles ached from frowning... and smiling... smiling because i kept bumping into people i know and i had to smile... to say hi at least. then i had to pinch and massage the face muscles until my face was red.... i was only short of throwing stuff. but firstly i only have my file in my hands, and i don't want to spoil it, its the last usable one i have. no place to threw it at while shouting and scolding.

long fingernails... feel like slapping a person... anybody so that i can leave fingernail scratch marks on the cheeks... evil! i know. but this is something i think of and not act on.

"...when the spark has died
and life hath ceased to be
would you choose, oh would you?
choose to lie by me..."

got this from a friend's blog.... so sweetly sad....

Experienced two vastly different turns of fate in 2 days. Yesterday, or rather, friday was USP DnD. was an very nice experience... lecturers turned up... all in a jolly mood... lots of people, friendly people, people i know. Freshies met up again... Jeremy accompanied me to Dnd, eventhough none of his og went. took lots of bangles....can make the very nice tingling sounds of thin metal colliding with each other...jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock!....jingle bell too for leoel who really dared to wear a santa claus suit for the theme of hollywood/bollywood. i was too shy to let my spag strap hawaiian top stand alone...so i borrowed a shawl from wanling and drapped it around me all the time. and jeremy was the fashion design of how the shawl shall be draped around me so that i can eat, move, not let the shawl get in the way or get dirty and making it stay for the longest time... not to mention the asthetics of it.

got to watch a full dressed rehearsal of the rag dance too! i think it was great...and then Jeremy accompanied me to Thawu bar(R&B and hip hop music) too... although he insisted that he doesn't drink and club... he still did so... at a minimal level... just so that i enjoy myself....so for the third time since we met each other.... we danced and grooved on the dance floor... to mark the one year aniversary since we met each other at the tv room watching holland V.... how time flies. had an enjoyable time. but the beautiful fascade broke when pharmacy agm started....

a member of my sports and social sub-com is running for president and he indirectly implied many times in his speech and answers to questions from the floor that i have been very incapable as the sports and social director in bring the pharmacy undergraduate community together as i have not "encouraged active participation by feedback". and he wants to organise a sports carnival for the different sub-coms to increase interaction between the sub-coms.... but in the first place, all the members of the sub-coms are almost the same group of people and all of them are from the same class!!!!!more and more stuff accumulated until i tot i could get a heart attack...all the work i put in for pharmacy.... wasted....wasted even more because even my own sub-com members don't appreciate it....i was heartbroken.

what was more shattering was that i found out that i was unofficially sacked from focc later during union ball. although i admit that i didn't do much...but there's still some...now the mask has been lowered... i finally see the true colours of the union ball pd. to think that i was ready to change my opinion of him and regard him as a friend...to think that he's so friendly to me... all this while. the whole menu of UB was seafood and more seafood. the only dish which contained no seafood come rite when i found out about my state of employment by the focc. devastated. but still, jeremy offered an escape..i didn't take it. how can nussu mean so much to me when i mean so little to it. i continued to attend the dinner till the very end...suffering can be a source of pride sometimes...maybe James Phelan has a point sometimes.

i need to sleep, my eyes hurt.

Jeremy gave away my bible....says that i don't use it anyway. i'm hurt that he goes around telling people that. true i don't conduct QT consistently, not even often now... but the prsence of the bible in my room gives me a sense of security, that God is with me all the way, he's there to comfort me when i'm so tired yet i have so much work to do. when i'm seriously distressed, i can flip the pages of his word... to just read a verse or so... and jeremy gave it away. now i'm away from my family, from jeremy and from the bible. the last semblance of christianity in me. he gave it away.

i'm hurt, a friend brushes me aside whenever i try to go nearer figuratively. i betrayed another friend... and more friend don't talk to me for fear that i gossip. it's all my fault. i shall receed into the background/into my shell again... too many friends...i can't handle. can't handle.

Dawn, miss NUS 2003

jeremy finally bought me my first bikini set... even though it's not my birthday yet....and agreed to buy me the expensive dancing shoes....but i shall spare him the agony...

friend wanling...our long island tea girl...on our way to the hoobastank concert at sentosa

CArys and mE wearing pink tops on the same day....attending a very boring life sci lecture

juniors did a great job with the banner... too good to be true i think... the department must thank them for it...

found this nice bear at shop n save...it costs $16....so nice... but jeremy doesn't want to buy anymore soft toys for me... i think i have too many also

Friend, Leoel bleached his hair

then dyed it red....

Lime, Orange, Coconut, Peanut and Rum&Raisin

went to sensen's for dinner despite the fact that we have to save money

lightstick in my room

Book cover of Blood and Gold by Anne Rice

made 72 of them today.... hard work...4 hours of toiling in the labs

Clowns from Escape

Friend...he's so passionate for the kangaroos...he squeezed the joey's head

note the little one whose's head is stuck in the gate...cute

i love school! there are so many things to occupy myself with...like today i just returned from latin and ballroom dancing class... very cool... how i wish i can turn out like those latino dancers...just need to have a smaller butt and ...basically lose more weight.

then tmr going out... my first shopping session since i moved to singapore. Guy friend wants to dye hair, pierce ear, manicure and shop for clothes... turning metrosexual/homosexual. and Thursday is my free day... so i can go out/sleep in. and the best part is, i have wed to do all my schoolwork... so i can relax on thurs. (reminds me, i have to go down to pharmacy tmr to prepare my practical report)

now i have to write a petition to my life science module lecturer, telling her to apply for webcast for that module because lots of people cannot stand listening to a boring lecturer at the end of a long day.

now i have less people reading my blog, partly coz i don't spend time reading theirs too... and also because they changed blog address. my closer friends have moved their attention to the freshies... but i'm still happy to keep my memory... at least i can remember the friends/aquiantances i have.

well, it's August....School starts... studying starts, i have something much better to occupy my time with. currently, apart from being a very conscientious student...i'll agreed to go running at night with jeremy on mons and thurs and i'm supposed to visit the gym 3 times a week? do you think that's possible?

and i'm sick again... was leading the pharmacy walkathon in the rain while everybody had an umbrella in hand... i mean i couldn't have possibly led with an umbrella in hand rite? it's so discouraging to the rest of the people...

was talking to jeremy on how pharmacists still don't have prescribing rights in Singapore. and the main reason behind that is because the profile of pharmacists in Singapore is very low, and that we are very docile creatures.... if somebody could embark on a more enthusiastic effort to raise the awareness of pharmacists in singapore! that's when i tot of doing an independent study module on this... there'll be lots of research and surveys and activities... and definitely worth the effort. and i'll be automatically rolled into a more active roll in pharmacy... which after all, is going to be my profession for the rest of my life... a very good idea... but first, i must do lots of reading and preparation, cause i do realise that this is exactly what the Pharmacy society and other qualified pharmacists are doing....

well, i had to pen that thought down, otherwise i'll forget about it fast after i awake from my sleep. ciao!

"... Christians have been expecting the imminent end of the world for millennia."
"But it keeps not ending."
"So far, so good."

Ender's Shadow
Submitted by Anonymous

OMG.... .The Crystal City is out.................!!! i want the book.....Jianhui you going to buy????

i'm stricken by illness...every week diff kind... last week was flu, this week is food poisoning....it's tough putting up with food poisoning... much tougher.

what to watch private parts...got the tix for saturday...yeah!

went to help matriculation comm with their sales... it was very tiring... bugging each and every freshie that passes by to buy the patriculation package...how to survive for 5 days....

found out that driving and being driven is very different, esp when one is feeling nauseous...GOd please make me stronger!

On sunday, i came down with Flu.... had fever, and cough... was bad... went to doc... took medicine faithfully, but when i reached singapore on monday for my usp camp, i felt like i was going to faint... so went to Jeremy's house to sleep till 5pm... then only headed to camp...it was day 0...

subsequently, the fever never went away, it's still here.... i didn't get a good night's sleep... first day, i suffered under the hands of the cold aircon, second day... the fan...coz no blanklet... third day, too tired so i slept i guess....

bonded really well with the bro-sister group...basically just talking crap does the trick...maybe allowing them to bully me abit...

i must admit that i'm not very happy with the camp...my group didn't win...but what can we do with only 1 guy and 5 girls... when other groups have 5 guys...and don't know how many girls...

but i'm really really blessed, my prayers have been answered, my worries unfound...the group had a dance enthusiast, a very caring and meticulous babysitter and a union camper....that too care of almost everything... i didn't need to teach any cheers, no need to lead any either, lots of initiative....food all taken care of, other councillors to take over me when i'm sick....performances all planned....

and i was so touched when they worte personal thank you cards to each of the councillors..and they initiated dinner too....only thing was that i couldn't stand not spending time with jeremy for 4 days...i lied to them saying i had to leave for home...in malaysia... and went to have dinner with him. feel so unappreciative...so guilty...

then i lost my handphone too.... i think the taxi driver claimed it for himself...now i lost all my contacts...can rem a few...but only about 15....

YAY! so happy today had a movie marathon, after finish watching Mean Girls, it was just in time to catch King Arthur... so went out, bought tix... and watch again! so happy, got to watch the movies i want to watch all at one shot....

made a mistake again, i thought yesterday was the 15th.... so i rushed my proposals like mad... it was only when i was talking to my pharmacy juniors at sentosa that i realised that wed is the 14th!!! anyway, kinda regret not joining pharmacy camp... wanted to go but i was afraid it would clash with mailrun... but mailrun is starting after the camp itself....sigh.... heard they had a smashing good time!!! better that way, i shall rest and recover for usp camp next week.... i promised myself to have a smashing good time too.... the ogls are already planning to spend a day at pasir ris wild wild wet!....hope i'll be able to join them for that... i was the one who suggested it after all....and it's fun talking to all those horny guys...tickles me to make fun of them.

Mum bought a new 3 in 1 printer...she's so excited about it... can print and scan and photocopy....she printed an enlarged version of her wedding picture.... now she's so proud of it!!!

from the long absence, even i tot i was going to stop blogging...but there seems to be this pull, from my friends. friends whom i only keep in contact by blogging... and i hate to lose them....

came back from union camp...don't really feel attached to the freshies there.... but still had a considerable nice time... but no eye candy and no body to flirt with and bad music for chiong night...

now, wed got mailrun, evening got to go meet my pharmacy juniors as exco member... thursday is another event undertaken by me.... last till 26th... have to check emails everyday... then must prepare for usp camp....doing the name tags... it's giving me headache... then next week is usp camp... then is matric...then rag and flag...then sch reopen....hectic...

despite this, i uncovered a marvellous scenic place, the Kent ridge hall rooftop... after 8pm, the clouds can still e seen as orange, lights from the PSA wharves...and the breeze is gentle....everything is so nice...

but, back to reality...i'm afraid of sch starting...sch starts, jeremy has to go...i really don't know how to manage/ cope/ be the crippy self... really missed him when i saw how everybody paired up during chiong night at Music Underground. though the music sucked...having that special person around makes all the diff.

i'm being more and more open about this.... there's really nothing to hide...

you hurt my pride, you kilt me!
i'm on the verge of something, i can't put a finger on it, when i wake up, i dream of my future, break apart...because of the person jeremy and i are. jeremy likes to gloat, i can't handle failure. almost everything i do, i put in effort, and so, i take pride in whatever it turns out to be...may it be a paper (i know i can't write well, but i put in effort), a design, a game, anything, so long as i'm going to show it to people, i put effort in it, and i take pride in it. and hurting my pride is like killing me, coz it's pride that drives me...drives me to do better, drives me to do most things...who doesn't like to be praised for their effort.

but here comes jeremy, who excels in everything. he starts telling me that i have 3 chins and a big spare tyre round my waist, reduces my papers to nothing but rubbish, tells me that my studying methods are wrong, scores a much higher cap than me and thinks it's easy to do so. all my confidence reduced to dust, my pride totally hurt, and now my soul is bleeding. in my sub-consciousness, i dream of myself 10 years down the road having post-natal blues and going on a hunger strike, wanting to kill myself, and not allowing anybody to see me in a state which is not acceptable to jeremy, and to me.

it's really a simple matter, isn't it? just a game of starcraft. he started playing it since...pri 6? i never played computer games, and i panic, that's why i suck at it. we play this game of starcraft in which i lost despite my efforts to survive, never mind, i'm proud of myself, i can stand up against his army. i let him save the game and replay it to his bro/ anyone he wants to show it off to. yesterday, we played 4 on 4, i watched as he destroyed all my allies and i was barely trying to kill on of his when he launched a full scale attack on me. knowing that i couldn't last long, and i'm certainly not proud of the game, i quit. he still saved the game and replayed it in front of me, to gloat at me and even called in his bro... as if my humiliation isn't complete. my pride was totally hurt. wasn't he supposed to tell me, not bad, you built your army quite fast, or say something encouraging....instead, "leonard, come and see how i defeated grace!"....i really can't stop thinking about it, the more i think about it, the angrier i am... the more determined i am not to call him or receive his calls. i'm that petty...

PASSIONATE LOVER. You love to love, always looking
for a relationship. You cannot live without it.
Your lover must be passionate and you want
that you and your partner melt into each other.
He/She should not try to take the domination .
You dont want a relationship without passion,
and the sexuality plays a big part. The first
moment you meet him/her is one of the most
important. There has to be something between
you , you cannot explain. From the first moment
on everything must fix. But when this passion
disappears you disappear to. For you it is
better to leave than to see your love
restrained.

PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.


~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

for some reason, i'm drawn to the picture...and all the other pictures from this quiz...not very accurate though...coz some of the stuff for other results apply as well...interesting how nude pictures are tinted with brillant colour and moulded into something which looks pleasing...at least to me...

am chewing on my store of coconut candy which i promised myself to only have one everyday...

woke up today to a phone call from my mom...telling me to go fetch her from the customs... after that home_lunch_go cut hair_went swimming_home_tv_dinner_tv_internet....this is an example of a slightly more exciting day than i usually have...

supposed to go sentosa today for union camp dry run... but my sister has to leave really early and there's no transport for me..and my flu...i use up a whole packet of tissue while i travel...that's how bad it is...can't recover.. maybe it's my sleeping hours..not accustomed to waking in the morning...that's why...maybe it's because i'm too weak...have not been exercising...

now i'm caught in a dilemma whether to turn up at src tomorrow or not...on one hand, i think i got to turn up....on the other...i don't want to show of my blubber to all these people who look good and i'm not comfortable roughing it out in all those camp activities with them...and my toes have been injured by jeremy while wrestling...
(i know i'm finding more and more excuses not to go)

really at a loss... can't decide...nobody to consult..

here's something for everyone who doesn't resemble barbie doll, if you look too pretty, you'll have more troubles eg man wanting to do all sorts of things to you, your bf probably likes you coz of your looks and most people pass you off as stupid...unless she claim that you're from some prestigious sch...etc

sore throat getting better...mosquitoes are starting to bug/bite me again....

tomorrow have to meet crusade people...i don't like being with them...i have to be hypocritical...and there's so little to discuss why can't they just converse over the internet and save me the trip to PS....so far and need to pay so much for travelling....sigh...

have a few paper cuts from mailrun...i'm not the only one...but me being me...i can't help but rub/scratch/whatever the cut coz as with all wounds, they itch when they are healing...that's how some or most of my wounds don't heal..all heal at super slow speed...

now i have successfully infected my sisters and my mom with my flu bug and we are all going to suffer during the holidays, esp for them coz their holidays just started...

project that my handphone bill will rocket this month...focc stuff requires lots of smsing... and people don't pick up the phone if i call from home... which is also expensive but not reflected on my hp bill....

i have bittle hair, brittle nail... should count the number of finger/toe nails which are chipped or.. deformed...or with blemishes

am going to watch shrek again tmr...my little sis wants to watch it...hahah, the show's hilarious!

am developing sore throat, and having flu now....sigh...tmr mail run starts...and on thurs there's meeting with crusade people and sat meeting with pharmacy people....i want to catch harry potter!!!!!!!!!!!*whine* *whine* *whine*

[written on fri..]

am staring at the details of my defragmenting hard disk, find it so intriguing, so interesting that i can't stop staring at it...then i remembered what video artist, tan pin pin said about she observing unchanging stuff like surveillance cameras because she finds it so interesting, you don't know what's going to happen next, who can be totally sure that NOTHING will happen...hahaha, am glad that some arty-Farty ingenuity rubbed off on me...

couldn't get to sleep last night, spent 2 hours tossing and turning around, thinking. first i thought about blogging...emails...stillremembered once i had a nightmare on emails...thought about what i blogged yesterday, about jeremy leaving...then mmy mind slipped into thinking about some of my classmates who are working rite now, especially the one who's spoiling the market, working in ttsh now...year one only...wah lao!!! i started worrying about my job prospects, worrying about which area of pharmacy will i go into which will best suit me, clinical pharmacy sounds ok, except that i was thinking on the lines of working in clinics and not hospitals, then it hit me that it's not possible coz singapore hasn't given pharmacists dispensing rights. then i tot about my experience working at the nearby clinic, fantasized about going back there to work during one of the holidays, how i can get myself
a more favourable job than being an odd job labourer there. how, i could avoid cleaning the medicine shelves, how i can suggest new management methods to better organise medical records, maybe use thumbprint identification instead of name/ic no, maybe use all 3 fields, so i can do up a program for them and charge them for it, only problem is transferring all the old records over to the new database. and if they are going to use thumbprint identification, will the doctor go to such expense so as to keep an ordered medical record database? or maybe a program to improve drug management, like use the comp to keep track of expiring medication, and at the same time,
print out prescriptions instead of writing them, that will help alot..but then, who will maintain these records when i'm not working there?

so i mused around, played with these tots and tot of hospital pharmacy versus community pharmacy ie guardian pharmacy etc...or being some information service....it requires lots of memory work, writing papers...and keeping up. but no menial tasks...whole day sit around. community pharmacy, allows lots of promotions, managerial positions...but it might turn me into a career woman. hospital
pharmacy is more up beat, requires constant ungrading and keeping in touch with academia, which is a good thing, but they don't take many people...so there's so much confusion...sigh...

on a depressing note...the fact that i'm not going to see jeremy for 4 months is not hitting me in full yet..(thank god!) i'll be so alone in NUS, in the holidays...nobody to eat dinner with, nobody to make me study for tests, nobody to advise me on my papers, nobody to go out with impromtu, nobody to play with...(yup, jeremy is a good playmate) sigh... don't blame me for harping on my personal problems and relationships...i'll trying not to..but this is my blog...i'll say whatever i want... lots of people read it but don't leave a footprint what so ever... saw ling's blog, simin's blog...we're all blogging about the same things all the time, i mean there's a theme running thru the blogs...is our love lives, hate to admit that this area always surfaces from our thought...but it is what's going on in the back of our heads...

it's very disturbing, disrupting, to make adjustments to your life, from being independent then to dependent, then to independent again...then as if to fill the void in my life i'll go fishing for guys again....create small waves in others' and my life...so as to make Something happen... in a not so exciting life of ours. i mean, all the cartoons and movies etc allows us to put ourselves in the center of the whole, everything revolves around us...as if that's what happens in real life. now i watch cartoons with a tinge of distaste..actually not a tinge...it's with distaste and fascination at how gullible children are...

i want to learn dancing, but which one? jazz, tango, waltz?

am at home....slack weel for me before the mailruns start...baked a blueberry cake on sunday, baked butter cookies yesterday...delicious..serious! i'm not just saying it because i baked them...it's the recipe...hahaha. am thinking of selling cookies in the small bazaar sort of thing they're having before the tutorials start, it's $10 for the stall....but trouble is, do i have time to bake the cookies...and how many should i bake...and...to draw the crowd, i'll probably have to get an oven or snack maker to heat up the food and create the irresistible aroma...logistic prob...

arts festival coming up...can't go to the shows...jeremy doesn't really appreciate them...

am blasting all my old old cds eg m2m's first album, backstreet boys...don't know what possessed me to buy bbboys...tsk tsk..

FINALLY got my laptop at home...and i'm continuing my crusade to conquer dungeon keeper...and i actually connected and troubleshot problems wrt my laptop and home comp...can't wait for my bro to come back so that we can play together..

haven't blogged often enough to realise when blogger changed their interface.

slacked around at home, finally sat down to finish the write-up for my long past event. and send it to all the dogs chasing me for it.

had a quarrel with my mom yesterday, ended with her saying thunder and lightning will strike me for being so ungrateful. coz she was complaining how ever since i came back, my sister has been playing computer games and not studying for her exams, play until whole day, electricity bills will rise, plus, make my sisters sleep late on weekdays. and i was like thinking, they cannot control themselves not to play its not my fault. work hard and play hard, i have the right to play all day long, just because my sis cannot control herselves, doesn't mean i cannot do what i want. then she complain i everyday icq and talk on the phone...one call $13...wait till she sees this month's bill.....then i complain she treats me like a primary school kid....but she pointed out that she's been allowing me to go out till late... giving me money to shop (for groceries), allowing me to sleep late at night and icqing my friends....and fetching me home from the customs even though it was in the middle of her tv show and i haven't lift a finger to do house work....

sigh...at that moment i actually felt a great unfairness being done to me....

yesterday, went out with this guy i knew from tj...treat him cheese cake, bought him a cute pillow...but i wonder if he remembers my birthday too. the meeting ended with me admitting i was attached...so now he's enquiring about jeremy.

supposed to entertain this group of army guys in malaysia today, my friend said they wanted to clear their leave...in the end...don't want to come anymore....wasted my time making overseas call, trying to finalise details with him, ended up boring myself with "the joy of running" and army talk....

----forgot what i actually wanted to blog about anymore----

haven't updated in ages.....can't believe what possessed me to blog all that...

it's almost one month since sch ended and i haven't done most of what i set out to do...like writing friend's testimonials...and learn programming...(i'm really inching through my book) so much i have done to meet up with old friends....

meet up with fiona, my jc classmate ...i love to please her...she gets really cute when she's happy...and it makes me happy too...i know of others who'll go an extra mile to please her as well....haha..and i actually got this idea of starting an earring business...she loves making earrings...you know... the beads and stuff...then me and her other friends help do the marketing and sorts...hahaha and we get new earrings as perks.... sounds so feasible....

my brother took my laptop away from me....he's staying in singapore now...and one weekend he came back saying he requires my laptop for website designing and got my mom's permission to take it back with him....after that i never saw my laptop again....so no matter what pictures i took from the melaka trip cannot be uploaded....

oh the malacca trip was fun and exhausting....we went to 6 shopping centres in 2 days and spent all our money till we had to camera-shop in the last two places...you know...like take pictures of the clothes of stuff we like and imagine yourself owning it. and we went to the historical places at night...hahaha...coz buildings cannot be closed to you... on the outside....and i tasted my first cocktail...didn't like it...was disappointed that it was only alcohol and lime juice.....

watched troy today. i think it was an awesome movie....my attention was on the movie...for most of the time....a lot of the time...which says a lot for a person who has short attention span....brad pitt looks "delicious"-qoute from a friend. was surprised by the nakedness of the characters...the first scene brad pitt are in....in bed, naked...saw his upper torso...a bit lower and his butt....sleeping with 2 other girls...also naked....tsk tsk tsk...greeks!

then the princes of troy...hector was so valiant...hah......pretty headdresses and earrings...very blue and piercing eyes of the king of troy....actually i love this character, i felt his anguish for the downfall of his country...felt it quite acutely, i tried hard to convince myself this only happened a long time ago...and i'm living in a safe era..(nothing like a nice mushroom swiss for the empty stomach to calm my fears.)

well...more emails and meetings to clear...do i sound busy?

i'm a big crybaby

jeremy told me i hurt his parents' when i commented that the food they bought wasn't the best. then i felt so bad i started crying. stupid rite?

i blundered and i don't want to be responsible for it.....i want to wipe the slate clean...but there's no possibility in doing that.....so i said i wanted to go find another family who will accept me....he wished me good luck....is that as good as a break-up? i don't know....i want to escape for it....will be going to malacca for 3 days starting monday.... will not call him or sms him.... anyway he doesn't miss me ....he doesn't call me...(i'm just throwing a big tantrum...like i always do....) why can't i throw tantrums.... i can't i write emails the way i want to...and not care about misinterpretation of my intentions when people read it. why do people read so much into emails....i've always treated them as avenues of providing infomation and correspondence....correspondence doesn't need the writer to sound happy all the time, or does it? (this matter will scar me for the rest of my life)

am so inspired by my friend's testimonial on friendster that, i'm going to try writing a nice sincere testimonial for all my friends during the holidays...

then i'll learn programming

then i'll learn to use excel well. yup yup.

Eeevil jeremy has introduced me another game, dungeon keeper...now i'm hooked....and the worst part is, i cannot pass the 6th level , resulting in my sulking all day long....cannot concentrate on studying too....and chem and us lecturer is so sucky...he copied the power point whole sale from the books....and it's a total mess....don't understand why we are learning so much about industrial processes etc....usp should scrap the module if its going to be so....it's like crash course on chem engin. so much info to rem....and i got more stressed out (at first i was stressed coz i'm 2 days behind schedule) when he reminded me that the rest of my classmates, pharmacy classmates are mugging for their pharmacy modules...i haven't started on them yet....stressed...then got no study rooms for me to study in, the he wants to studying in our rooms, then he complain my room is filthy, which is true as well, so i spent a lot of time cleaning my room, even mopping with a small lil rag....now i'm so proud of my clean room.....but still stressed.!!

studying, and being tempted to play SC or sleep or surf the net every now and now....

found out that my cyberarts group member, willie, is Charles' cousin.....!!!!....!!!! OMG....the eye candy i had known from union camp....now that i don't see him around in school, i see his cousin all the time....

gosh, come to think of it, my eyes were immediately tuned to willie during first class of cyberarts, of course, together will all the other people i know....did i mentally make a note to include a SoC person in my group? after all i formed the group.....hmmm, distinctly remembered struggling to make an effort to remember what everybody said and their majors and their experience and their strengths in art or technology expertise.

now that cyberarts is over....sighzzzz, next sem, my group's video will be curated in the NUS museums.....so cool!!!

want to go PS shopping....today got great sale...till midnight....wonder how criwded it will be....

i know i should be studying....oh shit!!!got LSM assignment haven't do....ok, well, this is a fine example of how grace thinks....thought process.

slept 4 hours. powerpoint presentation was terrible, needed to redo most part of it....the presentation is 15% of the final grade loh...that's pretty much what makes an A coz everybody does well in all the tests....spent 7 hours researching for new info and pictures and revamping the powerpoint from 8pm onwards....explains the sleeping period.

so sleepy now....i'm just waiting for my time to come

jialut.... now i'm hooked on starcraft.....play until no need sleep, back pain also never mind.....

so happy video art project turned out so well.....it's a surprise....it's really worth all the pains that we went through, and the thinking process....we took half a month to come up with the idea....and it's great that it's such a good idea and it encompasses a sizeable theme......

me video going to be shown in australia too!! so excited....but didn't realise i was exposing my boobs to the whole world....but i don't really mind....it's not as if they are deformed and i want to hide it....

FINALLy beat jeremy in scrabble by 40 over points!!!

~~yawnz....so sleepy~~~