Have been wanting to blog for the whole week.... just take i've either been going out or "studying" in my room that i haven't had the real time to sit down and blog. and Stats prac lessson is the best time... esp when your lecturer wepeats himself all the time.

Went to orchard on sunday night. i'm a naughty girl, i told my mum i'm coming back to school for term break to study. but nevertheless, i "benefitted" quite a bit from the outing. i wore the usp camp t shirt out.... and jeremy couldn't stand it. and this is coming from an engin guy who dresses shabbily all the time. he justifies himself saying that although he dresses shabbily, he never wears something so ugly....(no offence to the designer of the camp t-shirt). we hunted up and down far east plaza to get me a suitable set of top and skirt so that i don't have to be such an eye sore. so yay, for once the guy willingly shops with you... hahaha. at the end of the day, managed to buy this asymmetric leaf skirt and my adnce latino skirt, and a rose black top.... then we went to kino to buy books. bought $110 worth of books so i got him the kino membership card so that he saves about $10....

(alright, lecturer is chasing us out because he wants to end early... shall continue...)

[continue...]
so... that's in part, my present to jeremy for his birthday... but really, i never know what to get him. he takes care of all his needs, he needs it he buys... maybe not all, he tries to make me pay for his newly acquired books... but it's so pointless contributing to his 100 plus books.

maybe it's my laziness, but i think it doesn't take a special occasion to buy him stuff, i agree that it's very nice and sweet to buy him treats and presents for a good reason. and come to think of it... i don't shower him gifts.. so i guess i do have to put in effort to do something for him especially when he's leaving next week... so soon.... 8 more days only. the reality and totality of it still hasn't sunk in.

many other things happened along the week... but all seems to trivial to be remembered or brought up. Not when i've just completed reading Blood canticle by Anne Rice...if i'm not wrong, her latest vampire chronicles book. (poor thing, her husband is dead and yet she's so capable of love, especially the kind which i crave, the kind which she elucidates in her books... that's why i'm hooked. then why aren't i hooked by all those romance novels out there... i guess Anne rice writes of something more carnal....and yet without all the carnal action. writes of love... love of beautiful people, love of intelligent people, the way she expresses her characters, makes me deeply in love with them, the way they should be. the use of opposites: having a self proclaimed selfish fiend deny selfish possession of the lover he loved too much.

then there's the prefect husband, probably the representative of anne rice's own husband...but yet fails terribly at his role...having an affair, not being able to console her when she's terribly distraught..and not being able to sire an children in his wife. so helpless....so pitiful.

i find that Anne rice's ideology about beautiful people has affected me a lot... so much so that it's one of the traits which i look for in my partners/lovers/boyfriends/crushes. and that of vanity (thinks about the coincidental theme of my big success video art, which is also vanity)...doing things for the sake of vanity, not only for looks, but of what people perceive of you. you do good to glorify yourself for others to see.

i guess it's clear rite now that i want the passionate lover... the passionate Blood Child, the brat prince Lestat. but try as i might, i cannot be the kind of target of such affection. i have nothing in my character nor ability that warrants such rupturous love.