i'm BACK....everything i write it's either i'm very happy or troubled....now, i'm very troubled. i really dun know how my term paper will turn out...draft due this sat, fri i'm going to mug for my anat test which is on sat itself. how? don't know what direction and thesis statement to adopt. very worried i will fault. ....and then i just cannot type anything out on the word document....stare at it for two whole days barely got a working outline.....doesn't help that i have a connexus editor beside me....i just....can't write something good.....i mean, how to bring the theme of literature and ethics and conditioning together in the book of Brave New World......

but....school is ending...."ending"....reading period is drawing near...i'm scared but not as scared of the essay than my exams....so...think next sem, take more examinable subjects....i'm better at mugging than racking my brains....if there's something to rack on....getting stressed....feel like chopping off my hair... but it barely grew long enough for me to flaunt.

tsk tsk tsk.....

i feel good about myself today....made a point to drink some milk, some vitagen, pink dolphin vitamised water, ate less than yesterday.....(ate at swensens, until i really really couldn't touch the banana split...although i liked it alot alot....but too full). plus, conditioned my hair, did a mask, putting an end to envy bash...finishing the reports!!!finally can get down to publicising the badminton tournament...hopefully i can get 50 sign-ups. went down to nussu secreteriat to get the posters apporved and stamped (personally by Sin Chang).....feels good......plus Dg too.....and i joined friendster.......OMG, friendster is very very addictive. only thing, didn't do any work....checked my test scores....i'm the 32th in a class of 87......not very good not very bad either. and i received more flowers.....life is good. (did i mentioned my mom called too?)

i love life.....but ...i hate to fail

i got last in class for my first physio test. the one i went to ice skate the sat before, the one i didn't study for coz i was finishing my usp essay, the one i had to write essays with a strained left wrist.

was so upset about it i went to the co-op, bought 2 packets of the hello panda choclate biscuits and finshed then in one fell swoop. i don't usually eat so much chocolate. after i finished with it, i was so sedated i fell asleep. the bad spell stayed with me until after the pharmaceutical society meeting ended....i think by then my depressed mood was more due to my inability to get anything done than because i did so badly for my test.

anyway, my anat test was last sat.....got the results....slightly above average in class. but still, i need to work harder.

[continue later, going to watch Underworld now]

[am back....=)]

underworld the movie is very scary....non stop action....scary...i'm not the very timid kind you know....but to best enjoy the movie leave your common sense at home including all military training and biology knowledge....if i'm not overcomed by fatigue, i don't think i can sleep just thinking about the movie...

but i like vampire movies...

back to all my mountain of work..

am very stressed now.....

sat morning (today) had anatomy test....studied most of it the day before and one impt chapter sometime earlier in the week, and lo and behold i forgot everything i studied in that chapter...i'm regretting it....supposed to be a damn easy paper but i guess i'm going to score quite averagely in it...sigh...

it's not comforting news that 2 out of 4 or my classamates who are also in usp are planning to drop usp.

and on monday got another test. need to submit an essay tmr night...haven't started on it. die

am still blaming myself for the marketing screw up. does not help that people are opening telling me i'm wrong. i know it, just that i feel less terrible when people try to tell you,no it's not entirely your fault....

AND, i'm so stressed about my badminton tournament....tried to book a court but.....all the courts were booked already....now have to postpone it again....don't know how to tell my president....if i try to hold it next next week, everybody will be preparing for tests.....postpone indefinitely...???it just doesn't put my mind to rest.....makes me feel so so so much like a failure....my first event and it just doesn't work out. and the other subcom seems to be doing really well. the marketing side of nusps seem to be getting their replys and all from their sponsors...the thing is....some of my members are in those other coms too... i'm so worried that they might think i'm very inefficient.

advice anybody??

yah loh wanling, i'm too busy for updates...

was telling rena and simin yesterday in the reading room that nowadays got nothing to rite about other than my "candestine" relationship. but there's got to be something more to my life than him rite.....cannot let him dominate my life...but what to do...see each other everyday, eat dinner together.

shall start with last friday...went to yong ping's bbq at east coast...pleasant surprise to see ron there...is that his name? he reminds me of this guy that my best friend had a crush on in jc...but that guy's a prc...very talented one at that. that was the start of a very boring weekend....boring relative to the birthday weekend i had last year...last year my bday was on fri, this year on sat...wonder if next year will be on sun...so lucky huh?

(interrupt this to mention that just now during dg, they promised to get me a cake next week...and i'm supposed to think of 3 wishes...can't think of that many....any suggestions?)

yah then build up to envy bash...not very exciting, waited like the whole day and excitement just wasn't mounting,.....only thing that was interesting is the temasek hall dance...the song was stuck in my head for 3 days....until white flag by dido took over.

aftermath of bash is looking better now....so glad the seniors are helping...i wouldn't know what to do...faith was there when i was feeling worst....thanks SO MUCH gal...

find that i like mugging....like the feeling of completing all my tuts and going ahead in class...managed to build a good impression on my physical pharm lecturess...not too bad for my organic chem lecturer...he's starting to rem our faces from this picture class list...so scary, didn't know they had such things for each lecturer to refer to...so if you need some one to impersonate you...either your photo must be very blur or the person must be your twin/clone. well, the org chem lecturer knows me now...name so simple and easy...the lab tech nows me too....for making most noise during prac and posing them most questions...

went to ikea on sunday...bought this gothic looking metallic tea light/candle holder...has got stars all over it, moderate number lah...appeals to me...

went to jec yesterday, bought 2 pairs of very AA earing...long and dangling...rem to catch me wearing it...

came across this clothes shop which i found very tempting to buy their clothes only thing was that their prices all started with 2....so....but the salesgirl kept passing me nice tops to try on....OHHHH....could you all imagine how hard it was for me to say....NO, i don't want to buy. but i managed in the end...yay..

have decided to go for this camp from dec 8-13th...sounds very fun...this is the website..go look at it....then we can go for the camp together...heh
http://meta.everystudent.com.sg