Saturday, December 06, 2003
let me tell you a story about a boy and a girl. there exists, a certain boy, who loved this ordinary girl so much, so much more than ved himself. he gave her all the food she loved even though he liked to eat them as well. he scrimped and save in everything he used, so that he could splurge on her whenever he had the chance. he was always there to provide any support she needed. all he wanted was to keep her by his side always.
the ordinary girl basked in his love. but she just couldn't be satisfied. she always wanted more, more understanding, more consideration. the more she wanted the less she gave. nonetheless, the boy still gave more...when she finally claimed that the boy was bullying her. she broke his little heart. the word "hurt" inflicted pain to both when he told her "you've hurt me"
the ordinary girl couldn't give him anything in return, for the time he gave, she took and used it. for his money, she took and claimed as hers. for his love, she took and didn't return. yet all he wanted was for her to be there. but she as never there where he needed her.
to this extraordinary boy, it was ok to see her fault. to the ordinary girl, the only way she was going to be good enough for him was to cover all her faults so that she could forge a worthy partner for the boy to love.
however, me thinks the boy should just go find somebody more compatible and worthy of his love.
the ordinary girl basked in his love. but she just couldn't be satisfied. she always wanted more, more understanding, more consideration. the more she wanted the less she gave. nonetheless, the boy still gave more...when she finally claimed that the boy was bullying her. she broke his little heart. the word "hurt" inflicted pain to both when he told her "you've hurt me"
the ordinary girl couldn't give him anything in return, for the time he gave, she took and used it. for his money, she took and claimed as hers. for his love, she took and didn't return. yet all he wanted was for her to be there. but she as never there where he needed her.
to this extraordinary boy, it was ok to see her fault. to the ordinary girl, the only way she was going to be good enough for him was to cover all her faults so that she could forge a worthy partner for the boy to love.
however, me thinks the boy should just go find somebody more compatible and worthy of his love.
Friday, December 05, 2003
i need a tea break.
on my way home, i was thinking of what happened yesterday, i'm so overwhelmed by what happened, i was quite silent today. yet, i didn't want to think too much coz the moment i tot it, i'll forget about it just as soon. but, writing it down doesn't help coz i write too slow.
can't believe how besotted i am of this guy. he has me thinking of him all the time. and yet...he likes to poke fun at me at the expense of my ego. enough people who know me, know that i have a larger than average dose of ego. and the reason it stays is that i don't give a hoot about what most people think. and yet, this guy, this one whom i've open up to, he pokes fun at me. forever bringing up the event that i fell for this crap in which he was making up a news report, exaggerating the extent of malaysia's foolishness. he is more well read than me, and i trusted every word he said. so i believed, only to be laughed at. i was hurt, but never mind, i attributed it to my inability to discern between truth and fiction, in his words, my malaysian genes....which ultimately meant, to him, stupidity.
from then on, i had doubted everything he said, except for the fact that he loved me. becoz somehow, he had convinced me of the fact with more than just words, with actions and emotions which took a great actor to forge.
i've always taken his jibes at my intelligence light-heartedly but little does he know that i'm seriously hurt that he thinks so little of me. nonetheless, it's a fact that he does well academically. but i'm still hurt all the same.
last night i tot he was bring another joke on me with the story of mormons. he said it was true but i didn't believe it as he did try to trick me into thinking i accidentally locked myself out of my room before. it took a certain amount of disbelief before he finally revealed his trick. the doubt ended when he claimed how hurt he was that i didn't trust him. he'd spend money on ornamental objects so as to see the momentary happiness and surprise on my face when he presented them to me. and yet i didn't love him enough to trust him.
that was the breaking point, i;ve cried the third time in his presence even since october. i've never cried in front of my ex. i don't want to appear like a cry baby, something i consider a weakness, it's something guys attribute to girls. being me, i've always wanted to oppose that belief, i was not going to let him see me cry another time!
and yet, the way he calls my name, with that desperate urgency and anxiousness made the last wall of defence which i had wanted to build collapse and i wept somemore. i wept somemore.
on my way home, i was thinking of what happened yesterday, i'm so overwhelmed by what happened, i was quite silent today. yet, i didn't want to think too much coz the moment i tot it, i'll forget about it just as soon. but, writing it down doesn't help coz i write too slow.
can't believe how besotted i am of this guy. he has me thinking of him all the time. and yet...he likes to poke fun at me at the expense of my ego. enough people who know me, know that i have a larger than average dose of ego. and the reason it stays is that i don't give a hoot about what most people think. and yet, this guy, this one whom i've open up to, he pokes fun at me. forever bringing up the event that i fell for this crap in which he was making up a news report, exaggerating the extent of malaysia's foolishness. he is more well read than me, and i trusted every word he said. so i believed, only to be laughed at. i was hurt, but never mind, i attributed it to my inability to discern between truth and fiction, in his words, my malaysian genes....which ultimately meant, to him, stupidity.
from then on, i had doubted everything he said, except for the fact that he loved me. becoz somehow, he had convinced me of the fact with more than just words, with actions and emotions which took a great actor to forge.
i've always taken his jibes at my intelligence light-heartedly but little does he know that i'm seriously hurt that he thinks so little of me. nonetheless, it's a fact that he does well academically. but i'm still hurt all the same.
last night i tot he was bring another joke on me with the story of mormons. he said it was true but i didn't believe it as he did try to trick me into thinking i accidentally locked myself out of my room before. it took a certain amount of disbelief before he finally revealed his trick. the doubt ended when he claimed how hurt he was that i didn't trust him. he'd spend money on ornamental objects so as to see the momentary happiness and surprise on my face when he presented them to me. and yet i didn't love him enough to trust him.
that was the breaking point, i;ve cried the third time in his presence even since october. i've never cried in front of my ex. i don't want to appear like a cry baby, something i consider a weakness, it's something guys attribute to girls. being me, i've always wanted to oppose that belief, i was not going to let him see me cry another time!
and yet, the way he calls my name, with that desperate urgency and anxiousness made the last wall of defence which i had wanted to build collapse and i wept somemore. i wept somemore.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
got chronic flu......terrible.......not pneumonia cuz it's not THAT terrible. noticed that FAITH is still the only one reading and commenting on my blog conscienciously.....thanks girl, i feel so encouraged, you're the reason this blog is still alive......mostly.....if not totally.....
love giving out presents, it feels great being santa claus....or santarina.....love shopping, love buying, love giving....just....need...money....which is a very exhaustive matter....*digs head under pillow and think*
love giving out presents, it feels great being santa claus....or santarina.....love shopping, love buying, love giving....just....need...money....which is a very exhaustive matter....*digs head under pillow and think*
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
was thinking...
if someone dear were to leave us forever now, would you grieve? Is grievance a choice, whether to express our feelings for not, or a choice of well-being?
situation 1: you sob uncontrollably because you feel so sad... and all your friends try to comfort you.
Situation 2: you be the strong one. no tears for you.
yet however, grieving seems to be an emotional release. if one doesn't grief, the feelings of lost can be very upsetting and haunt you all the time for years to come. maybe, taking time off to grieve, not cry, maybe a little, but to grieve and sort out your tots....maybe that grieving time is needed by everyone for the soul....
(don't ask me why the topic, the human brain twists and tosses so many times before we speak)
if someone dear were to leave us forever now, would you grieve? Is grievance a choice, whether to express our feelings for not, or a choice of well-being?
situation 1: you sob uncontrollably because you feel so sad... and all your friends try to comfort you.
Situation 2: you be the strong one. no tears for you.
yet however, grieving seems to be an emotional release. if one doesn't grief, the feelings of lost can be very upsetting and haunt you all the time for years to come. maybe, taking time off to grieve, not cry, maybe a little, but to grieve and sort out your tots....maybe that grieving time is needed by everyone for the soul....
(don't ask me why the topic, the human brain twists and tosses so many times before we speak)
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
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Monday, November 17, 2003
"the last class of my old professor's life took place once a week in his home, by a window, in his study, where he could watch a small hibiscus plant shed its pink flowers. The class met on tuesdays. No books were required. The Subject was the meaning of life. It was taught from experience. The teaching goes on."
--"Tuesdays with Morrie"
Mitch Albom
--"Tuesdays with Morrie"
Mitch Albom
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
locked myself out of my room 4 times this sem already...today just happened to chance upon one of the fine payment letters that pgp has sent to me. wah, cham....but how to cure my forgetfulness???
yes, i'm back at my laptop at nus....free usage of internet...felt so restricted at home...use one hour siblings start to stare at what i'm doing online, use 2 hours, "jie ah, why use so long one"....don't find it enough at all. free usage is so much better. i do love free internet usage...(oh no, assimilating the hypnopaedic styles of characters in Brave New world)....
went to see doc today. now medicine is taking effect....my eye lids are getting heavy....heavy...but must do some work because tomorrow, i'm going to watch matrix revolutions!!! yay, didn't get to watch the sequel to it the last time so am watching the marathon thingy...so nice, my bf booked tickets, knowing i didn't watch the sequel...ok, he's not stupid, he can take hints...hahaha...he can't let any hints slip by cuz that will give me reason to say he's slow...and apparently, there's this joke saying singaporeans are smarter than malaysians and he's out to prove that right....oh well, shall wait and see.
achieved lots of leisure points yesterday. got to eat my fav laksa from the shop near my house...actually wanted to eat either the chicken rice or the wanton mee, but...think think, i have a greater craving for laksa...so went to eat, dun mind having the sore throat now, heh. oh, then went to play mahjong with my sister and cousin...i won 10 games out of 24 hehehe...but no money involved. got clean fun. then later baked a chocolate almond cake....then proceeded to cook dinner....(so long never cook with a real flame, pgp all heaters) cooked fries, peppered fish tempura, honeyed hot dogs...wah....cooking is fun you know....the food tastes a great deal better too...hahaha, no offence to my mom..!
yes, i'm back at my laptop at nus....free usage of internet...felt so restricted at home...use one hour siblings start to stare at what i'm doing online, use 2 hours, "jie ah, why use so long one"....don't find it enough at all. free usage is so much better. i do love free internet usage...(oh no, assimilating the hypnopaedic styles of characters in Brave New world)....
went to see doc today. now medicine is taking effect....my eye lids are getting heavy....heavy...but must do some work because tomorrow, i'm going to watch matrix revolutions!!! yay, didn't get to watch the sequel to it the last time so am watching the marathon thingy...so nice, my bf booked tickets, knowing i didn't watch the sequel...ok, he's not stupid, he can take hints...hahaha...he can't let any hints slip by cuz that will give me reason to say he's slow...and apparently, there's this joke saying singaporeans are smarter than malaysians and he's out to prove that right....oh well, shall wait and see.
achieved lots of leisure points yesterday. got to eat my fav laksa from the shop near my house...actually wanted to eat either the chicken rice or the wanton mee, but...think think, i have a greater craving for laksa...so went to eat, dun mind having the sore throat now, heh. oh, then went to play mahjong with my sister and cousin...i won 10 games out of 24 hehehe...but no money involved. got clean fun. then later baked a chocolate almond cake....then proceeded to cook dinner....(so long never cook with a real flame, pgp all heaters) cooked fries, peppered fish tempura, honeyed hot dogs...wah....cooking is fun you know....the food tastes a great deal better too...hahaha, no offence to my mom..!
Thursday, October 30, 2003
i'm BACK....everything i write it's either i'm very happy or troubled....now, i'm very troubled. i really dun know how my term paper will turn out...draft due this sat, fri i'm going to mug for my anat test which is on sat itself. how? don't know what direction and thesis statement to adopt. very worried i will fault. ....and then i just cannot type anything out on the word document....stare at it for two whole days barely got a working outline.....doesn't help that i have a connexus editor beside me....i just....can't write something good.....i mean, how to bring the theme of literature and ethics and conditioning together in the book of Brave New World......
but....school is ending...."ending"....reading period is drawing near...i'm scared but not as scared of the essay than my exams....so...think next sem, take more examinable subjects....i'm better at mugging than racking my brains....if there's something to rack on....getting stressed....feel like chopping off my hair... but it barely grew long enough for me to flaunt.
tsk tsk tsk.....
but....school is ending...."ending"....reading period is drawing near...i'm scared but not as scared of the essay than my exams....so...think next sem, take more examinable subjects....i'm better at mugging than racking my brains....if there's something to rack on....getting stressed....feel like chopping off my hair... but it barely grew long enough for me to flaunt.
tsk tsk tsk.....
Thursday, October 16, 2003
i feel good about myself today....made a point to drink some milk, some vitagen, pink dolphin vitamised water, ate less than yesterday.....(ate at swensens, until i really really couldn't touch the banana split...although i liked it alot alot....but too full). plus, conditioned my hair, did a mask, putting an end to envy bash...finishing the reports!!!finally can get down to publicising the badminton tournament...hopefully i can get 50 sign-ups. went down to nussu secreteriat to get the posters apporved and stamped (personally by Sin Chang).....feels good......plus Dg too.....and i joined friendster.......OMG, friendster is very very addictive. only thing, didn't do any work....checked my test scores....i'm the 32th in a class of 87......not very good not very bad either. and i received more flowers.....life is good. (did i mentioned my mom called too?)
Thursday, October 09, 2003
i love life.....but ...i hate to fail
i got last in class for my first physio test. the one i went to ice skate the sat before, the one i didn't study for coz i was finishing my usp essay, the one i had to write essays with a strained left wrist.
was so upset about it i went to the co-op, bought 2 packets of the hello panda choclate biscuits and finshed then in one fell swoop. i don't usually eat so much chocolate. after i finished with it, i was so sedated i fell asleep. the bad spell stayed with me until after the pharmaceutical society meeting ended....i think by then my depressed mood was more due to my inability to get anything done than because i did so badly for my test.
anyway, my anat test was last sat.....got the results....slightly above average in class. but still, i need to work harder.
[continue later, going to watch Underworld now]
[am back....=)]
underworld the movie is very scary....non stop action....scary...i'm not the very timid kind you know....but to best enjoy the movie leave your common sense at home including all military training and biology knowledge....if i'm not overcomed by fatigue, i don't think i can sleep just thinking about the movie...
but i like vampire movies...
back to all my mountain of work..
i got last in class for my first physio test. the one i went to ice skate the sat before, the one i didn't study for coz i was finishing my usp essay, the one i had to write essays with a strained left wrist.
was so upset about it i went to the co-op, bought 2 packets of the hello panda choclate biscuits and finshed then in one fell swoop. i don't usually eat so much chocolate. after i finished with it, i was so sedated i fell asleep. the bad spell stayed with me until after the pharmaceutical society meeting ended....i think by then my depressed mood was more due to my inability to get anything done than because i did so badly for my test.
anyway, my anat test was last sat.....got the results....slightly above average in class. but still, i need to work harder.
[continue later, going to watch Underworld now]
[am back....=)]
underworld the movie is very scary....non stop action....scary...i'm not the very timid kind you know....but to best enjoy the movie leave your common sense at home including all military training and biology knowledge....if i'm not overcomed by fatigue, i don't think i can sleep just thinking about the movie...
but i like vampire movies...
back to all my mountain of work..
Saturday, October 04, 2003
am very stressed now.....
sat morning (today) had anatomy test....studied most of it the day before and one impt chapter sometime earlier in the week, and lo and behold i forgot everything i studied in that chapter...i'm regretting it....supposed to be a damn easy paper but i guess i'm going to score quite averagely in it...sigh...
it's not comforting news that 2 out of 4 or my classamates who are also in usp are planning to drop usp.
and on monday got another test. need to submit an essay tmr night...haven't started on it. die
am still blaming myself for the marketing screw up. does not help that people are opening telling me i'm wrong. i know it, just that i feel less terrible when people try to tell you,no it's not entirely your fault....
AND, i'm so stressed about my badminton tournament....tried to book a court but.....all the courts were booked already....now have to postpone it again....don't know how to tell my president....if i try to hold it next next week, everybody will be preparing for tests.....postpone indefinitely...???it just doesn't put my mind to rest.....makes me feel so so so much like a failure....my first event and it just doesn't work out. and the other subcom seems to be doing really well. the marketing side of nusps seem to be getting their replys and all from their sponsors...the thing is....some of my members are in those other coms too... i'm so worried that they might think i'm very inefficient.
advice anybody??
sat morning (today) had anatomy test....studied most of it the day before and one impt chapter sometime earlier in the week, and lo and behold i forgot everything i studied in that chapter...i'm regretting it....supposed to be a damn easy paper but i guess i'm going to score quite averagely in it...sigh...
it's not comforting news that 2 out of 4 or my classamates who are also in usp are planning to drop usp.
and on monday got another test. need to submit an essay tmr night...haven't started on it. die
am still blaming myself for the marketing screw up. does not help that people are opening telling me i'm wrong. i know it, just that i feel less terrible when people try to tell you,no it's not entirely your fault....
AND, i'm so stressed about my badminton tournament....tried to book a court but.....all the courts were booked already....now have to postpone it again....don't know how to tell my president....if i try to hold it next next week, everybody will be preparing for tests.....postpone indefinitely...???it just doesn't put my mind to rest.....makes me feel so so so much like a failure....my first event and it just doesn't work out. and the other subcom seems to be doing really well. the marketing side of nusps seem to be getting their replys and all from their sponsors...the thing is....some of my members are in those other coms too... i'm so worried that they might think i'm very inefficient.
advice anybody??
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
yah loh wanling, i'm too busy for updates...
was telling rena and simin yesterday in the reading room that nowadays got nothing to rite about other than my "candestine" relationship. but there's got to be something more to my life than him rite.....cannot let him dominate my life...but what to do...see each other everyday, eat dinner together.
shall start with last friday...went to yong ping's bbq at east coast...pleasant surprise to see ron there...is that his name? he reminds me of this guy that my best friend had a crush on in jc...but that guy's a prc...very talented one at that. that was the start of a very boring weekend....boring relative to the birthday weekend i had last year...last year my bday was on fri, this year on sat...wonder if next year will be on sun...so lucky huh?
(interrupt this to mention that just now during dg, they promised to get me a cake next week...and i'm supposed to think of 3 wishes...can't think of that many....any suggestions?)
yah then build up to envy bash...not very exciting, waited like the whole day and excitement just wasn't mounting,.....only thing that was interesting is the temasek hall dance...the song was stuck in my head for 3 days....until white flag by dido took over.
aftermath of bash is looking better now....so glad the seniors are helping...i wouldn't know what to do...faith was there when i was feeling worst....thanks SO MUCH gal...
find that i like mugging....like the feeling of completing all my tuts and going ahead in class...managed to build a good impression on my physical pharm lecturess...not too bad for my organic chem lecturer...he's starting to rem our faces from this picture class list...so scary, didn't know they had such things for each lecturer to refer to...so if you need some one to impersonate you...either your photo must be very blur or the person must be your twin/clone. well, the org chem lecturer knows me now...name so simple and easy...the lab tech nows me too....for making most noise during prac and posing them most questions...
went to ikea on sunday...bought this gothic looking metallic tea light/candle holder...has got stars all over it, moderate number lah...appeals to me...
went to jec yesterday, bought 2 pairs of very AA earing...long and dangling...rem to catch me wearing it...
came across this clothes shop which i found very tempting to buy their clothes only thing was that their prices all started with 2....so....but the salesgirl kept passing me nice tops to try on....OHHHH....could you all imagine how hard it was for me to say....NO, i don't want to buy. but i managed in the end...yay..
have decided to go for this camp from dec 8-13th...sounds very fun...this is the website..go look at it....then we can go for the camp together...heh
http://meta.everystudent.com.sg
was telling rena and simin yesterday in the reading room that nowadays got nothing to rite about other than my "candestine" relationship. but there's got to be something more to my life than him rite.....cannot let him dominate my life...but what to do...see each other everyday, eat dinner together.
shall start with last friday...went to yong ping's bbq at east coast...pleasant surprise to see ron there...is that his name? he reminds me of this guy that my best friend had a crush on in jc...but that guy's a prc...very talented one at that. that was the start of a very boring weekend....boring relative to the birthday weekend i had last year...last year my bday was on fri, this year on sat...wonder if next year will be on sun...so lucky huh?
(interrupt this to mention that just now during dg, they promised to get me a cake next week...and i'm supposed to think of 3 wishes...can't think of that many....any suggestions?)
yah then build up to envy bash...not very exciting, waited like the whole day and excitement just wasn't mounting,.....only thing that was interesting is the temasek hall dance...the song was stuck in my head for 3 days....until white flag by dido took over.
aftermath of bash is looking better now....so glad the seniors are helping...i wouldn't know what to do...faith was there when i was feeling worst....thanks SO MUCH gal...
find that i like mugging....like the feeling of completing all my tuts and going ahead in class...managed to build a good impression on my physical pharm lecturess...not too bad for my organic chem lecturer...he's starting to rem our faces from this picture class list...so scary, didn't know they had such things for each lecturer to refer to...so if you need some one to impersonate you...either your photo must be very blur or the person must be your twin/clone. well, the org chem lecturer knows me now...name so simple and easy...the lab tech nows me too....for making most noise during prac and posing them most questions...
went to ikea on sunday...bought this gothic looking metallic tea light/candle holder...has got stars all over it, moderate number lah...appeals to me...
went to jec yesterday, bought 2 pairs of very AA earing...long and dangling...rem to catch me wearing it...
came across this clothes shop which i found very tempting to buy their clothes only thing was that their prices all started with 2....so....but the salesgirl kept passing me nice tops to try on....OHHHH....could you all imagine how hard it was for me to say....NO, i don't want to buy. but i managed in the end...yay..
have decided to go for this camp from dec 8-13th...sounds very fun...this is the website..go look at it....then we can go for the camp together...heh
http://meta.everystudent.com.sg
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
very tired.
conquered kent ridge park...and reached pasir panjang road after dinner. and i forgot there's a meeting today.
at 5pm i was like....is there a meeting today? then i checked my diary...no...little did i realise that i didn't update my diary recently....darn...spoil my perfect attendance..
then again, got two very happy things to celebrate...i did well for my physicochem drug action module...one of the tests i took with a sprained left wrist.....got an average mark....32/40...a bit low for my expectations...means i need to work hard but i'm not that stupid in class.... and more importantly, YAYAYAY i finally got the ASEAN undergrad scholarship....yay.....took a big load of my mom's back....
conquered kent ridge park...and reached pasir panjang road after dinner. and i forgot there's a meeting today.
at 5pm i was like....is there a meeting today? then i checked my diary...no...little did i realise that i didn't update my diary recently....darn...spoil my perfect attendance..
then again, got two very happy things to celebrate...i did well for my physicochem drug action module...one of the tests i took with a sprained left wrist.....got an average mark....32/40...a bit low for my expectations...means i need to work hard but i'm not that stupid in class.... and more importantly, YAYAYAY i finally got the ASEAN undergrad scholarship....yay.....took a big load of my mom's back....
Monday, September 22, 2003
start of new week.....find that i'm dreading to go to my usp module forum......it's like i have to comment but i can't think of something to write everything i go to the forum i have no frame of mind to do any critical thinking. and then i just procrastinate and procrastinate....
just came back from orchard....finally caught pirates of carribean...johnny depp very funny...surprised me alot that cine was sold out for the 9pm show...
took 14 back...quite a short journey....
now it's the start of a new week... a busy one...must buck up and push more contact with my sponsor coz she's too busy for me....and then after this week must plan for the badminton tournament then after that must start serious mugging for my CAs.....so i have to turn down my social life....heard that??as much as i hate to do so....everybody must help me implement this ah...
just came back from orchard....finally caught pirates of carribean...johnny depp very funny...surprised me alot that cine was sold out for the 9pm show...
took 14 back...quite a short journey....
now it's the start of a new week... a busy one...must buck up and push more contact with my sponsor coz she's too busy for me....and then after this week must plan for the badminton tournament then after that must start serious mugging for my CAs.....so i have to turn down my social life....heard that??as much as i hate to do so....everybody must help me implement this ah...
Friday, September 19, 2003
dejavu....
totally subscribe to the belief that negatives compliment the positives....like lack of something makes having a greater pleasure.
always have this problem of saying no to people....can't bear to say no...in the end i suffer the consequences of my weakness....too little sleep, i end up having a very weak immune system...from my already weak constitution...
yeah, had a good seminar session for my lit class today despite not preparing for it at all, all thanks to the 4 hours of sleep i got just before i went for lesson. sort of impressed the "biggest" threat in class...not really, but i felt that it's a personal thing....a self confidence thingy.
think must start mugging for my upcoming exams and draft my essay too...so i dun get to tied up when the deadline approaches, talking about this, i think must start doing my practical reports too.
am attending nussu agm now....faith thank god you decided that you don't want to and cannot come for this this is so boring....but all thanks to the laptops provided by wanling and marc...books, food etc...it's still quite bearable....not to mention the company lah...the last row occupied by vulcans...
i kind of derived a liking to people identifying sickness in me....proves that i'm so ill that it shows on my face...but i'm happy that i'm still surviving the stress and physical limitations.
talking about stress...i blame my present stress level on src...!@#$%^
am revisiting Queen of the damned, did i ever mentioned that i totally love anne rice's vampire chronicles? but i realised that i've forgotten a lot about all the characters in the chronicles...i only rem pandora and marius, who are, quite obviously my favourite characters.
am participating in a ppol competition tmr, hope i dun make a big foool out on my amatuer skills. haha
totally subscribe to the belief that negatives compliment the positives....like lack of something makes having a greater pleasure.
always have this problem of saying no to people....can't bear to say no...in the end i suffer the consequences of my weakness....too little sleep, i end up having a very weak immune system...from my already weak constitution...
yeah, had a good seminar session for my lit class today despite not preparing for it at all, all thanks to the 4 hours of sleep i got just before i went for lesson. sort of impressed the "biggest" threat in class...not really, but i felt that it's a personal thing....a self confidence thingy.
think must start mugging for my upcoming exams and draft my essay too...so i dun get to tied up when the deadline approaches, talking about this, i think must start doing my practical reports too.
am attending nussu agm now....faith thank god you decided that you don't want to and cannot come for this this is so boring....but all thanks to the laptops provided by wanling and marc...books, food etc...it's still quite bearable....not to mention the company lah...the last row occupied by vulcans...
i kind of derived a liking to people identifying sickness in me....proves that i'm so ill that it shows on my face...but i'm happy that i'm still surviving the stress and physical limitations.
talking about stress...i blame my present stress level on src...!@#$%^
am revisiting Queen of the damned, did i ever mentioned that i totally love anne rice's vampire chronicles? but i realised that i've forgotten a lot about all the characters in the chronicles...i only rem pandora and marius, who are, quite obviously my favourite characters.
am participating in a ppol competition tmr, hope i dun make a big foool out on my amatuer skills. haha
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
realised that this blog is no longer a safe haven for my thoughts anymore, esp someone...but then again when was this place "safe".
am very sick...think my mom foresaw this. she told me i was as pale as a sheet during the weekend...made so much chicken soup for me to drink at home...but in vain, this only managed to delay the onset of flu symptoms till today.
am letting my quality of work decline...usually i take pride in my work...not...it's really hard to be proud of anything i do. feeling quiting my ecas...but i'm already half way sucked in...
WHY CANT I GET A BADMINTON COURT!!!!!
have to delay/postpone the badminton tournament i'm organising indefinitely...my first project and such a failure. hate myself for that.
more reason to hate myself...i look bad in the first photo i took with him...sharks.!!
some more reason: may be someone can list more for me
was actually very happy on tues...went shopping, at metro, and watsons...bought skin care pdts which i normally dun need/use at all, going old. metro had sale, nice clothes...sale plus i had a voucher...buy buy buy
bought this very cute singing/moving unicorn soft toy which i saw a while ago...love it. wonders whether i should give it away or not. nobody buys soft toys for themselves rite?
went jogging to west coast too. man, i really declined in stamina...cannot even run out of nus campus, i think i only ran 1.6 km....failure...but west coast was very nice...nice playground but lots of mosquitoes *scratch scratch*
sick still...
am very sick...think my mom foresaw this. she told me i was as pale as a sheet during the weekend...made so much chicken soup for me to drink at home...but in vain, this only managed to delay the onset of flu symptoms till today.
am letting my quality of work decline...usually i take pride in my work...not...it's really hard to be proud of anything i do. feeling quiting my ecas...but i'm already half way sucked in...
WHY CANT I GET A BADMINTON COURT!!!!!
have to delay/postpone the badminton tournament i'm organising indefinitely...my first project and such a failure. hate myself for that.
more reason to hate myself...i look bad in the first photo i took with him...sharks.!!
some more reason: may be someone can list more for me
was actually very happy on tues...went shopping, at metro, and watsons...bought skin care pdts which i normally dun need/use at all, going old. metro had sale, nice clothes...sale plus i had a voucher...buy buy buy
bought this very cute singing/moving unicorn soft toy which i saw a while ago...love it. wonders whether i should give it away or not. nobody buys soft toys for themselves rite?
went jogging to west coast too. man, i really declined in stamina...cannot even run out of nus campus, i think i only ran 1.6 km....failure...but west coast was very nice...nice playground but lots of mosquitoes *scratch scratch*
sick still...
Saturday, September 13, 2003
slept 3 hours only last night....how come everybody is so surprised that i bother to wake up for my 8am lectures....actually if i start skipping lectures....what's the point of staying on campus.
am so glad i'm finally spending time at home....slacking....no essays fighting to complete....somehow i think cca work is slacking....will have to go shopping for the food hampers tomorrow...hahaha, giving out food hampers as prizes. inspired idea from one of my friends....this way prizes look big and won't exceed our budget...am glad my sub com is growing...in numbers and in efficiency...yay....
came home, found candle wax everywhere on the porch....think my sisters had a nice maf this yr...mine wasn't that bad either...had 3 celebrations thruout the week...
need to be more resolute about studying and sleeping more...if not i'll slip into a 3rd week of sleeping 3 hours everyday...mind over temptations...mind over temptations.....
am so glad i'm finally spending time at home....slacking....no essays fighting to complete....somehow i think cca work is slacking....will have to go shopping for the food hampers tomorrow...hahaha, giving out food hampers as prizes. inspired idea from one of my friends....this way prizes look big and won't exceed our budget...am glad my sub com is growing...in numbers and in efficiency...yay....
came home, found candle wax everywhere on the porch....think my sisters had a nice maf this yr...mine wasn't that bad either...had 3 celebrations thruout the week...
need to be more resolute about studying and sleeping more...if not i'll slip into a 3rd week of sleeping 3 hours everyday...mind over temptations...mind over temptations.....
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
so happy today that witnessing turned out really well.
actually the tougher cases were handled by another person...so i was left with the more prepared hearts. . . talked to my classmates too...so nice, we were witnessing to these other two girls at the pharmacy branch of science then my classmates just came and sat down, and i started evangelising to her....it's like she was brought to me....brought to God....then more and more of my classmates attending the same gem came....so happy...
then got so many people who stay at pgp too....got my bible today too....so excited i'm going to read esther....my mom's name...
didn't know evangelising so exciting.....
actually the tougher cases were handled by another person...so i was left with the more prepared hearts. . . talked to my classmates too...so nice, we were witnessing to these other two girls at the pharmacy branch of science then my classmates just came and sat down, and i started evangelising to her....it's like she was brought to me....brought to God....then more and more of my classmates attending the same gem came....so happy...
then got so many people who stay at pgp too....got my bible today too....so excited i'm going to read esther....my mom's name...
didn't know evangelising so exciting.....
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
So long never blog.....kind of miss blogging. it's like although it's a bit of a hussle maintaining this....a blog is sort of a pensieve to me....
so happy to get my beloved laptop back.....just like it when people comment how small and slim my laptop is, how cool i can put in it into a box file and bring it around...hehehehe.....and i like the look of it too....nice nice...=)
can't rem all i want to post here liao....but i've been exploring nus compound more...esp the transport system out of here.....
am sleeping less and less.....before last week i sleep usually at 1am....now it's 3 am...coz whole day chit chatting.....but i enjoy it....
found someone who resembles my ex....bad thing is, i find myself liking him. which probably means i still haven't got over my ex...worse, i seem to see him/purposely see him everyday. bad bad bad....
we are both fans of holland v....so everytime i have something on at night...that i can't watch the show..he will record it down on his laptop then i'll go to his room to watch it when i come back....which is about 10pm.....then last night was some maf thing at pgp. one senior jioed me to go for it, so i jioed everybody i knew down too....so he went too...
i really cannot believe this guy loh. half way disappeared, so i carried on with my other friends....later, got a lantern, so went exploring the pgp back gate to sci park with this other friend A. came back, saw him waving from the second level gym.....excuse: program too boring so i went to gym....
later another friend not staying at pgp joined us with a lantern....wanted to go walk ard...so we entertained him. walk walk walk half way rained heavily....so the 4 of us stranded at a bus stop. the friend took a bus and left for home just before it rained....
was quite cold and wet there...strong winds...the seats were wet....quite bad loh...and i promised to sleep early at 10 pm....we start walking at 10pm....got stranded till 11.30 was so sleepy liao....in the drizzle, started walking briskly back...reached sci park, rain again...in the end i think everybody dying to get back liao...so that guy offered to shelter me with his windbreaker. it wasn't until he guarranteed that i will be dry till we reach our block that i gave way....
the logic behind it.....it's quite confusing...if u feel something special for that girl/guy, we tend to purposely avoid her/him cuz u feel conscious about it....others you regard as friends....you just dun realise.....
reach the back gate.....realised it's locked....wanted to climb over but met with violent objections from me...so walk to KR hall then walk the long long way way the A1 bus route.....that really got me hungry. but good thing was, i was kept warm by the windbreaker....no flu yet....only headache...
we're going to chinablack on thurs.
so happy to get my beloved laptop back.....just like it when people comment how small and slim my laptop is, how cool i can put in it into a box file and bring it around...hehehehe.....and i like the look of it too....nice nice...=)
can't rem all i want to post here liao....but i've been exploring nus compound more...esp the transport system out of here.....
am sleeping less and less.....before last week i sleep usually at 1am....now it's 3 am...coz whole day chit chatting.....but i enjoy it....
found someone who resembles my ex....bad thing is, i find myself liking him. which probably means i still haven't got over my ex...worse, i seem to see him/purposely see him everyday. bad bad bad....
we are both fans of holland v....so everytime i have something on at night...that i can't watch the show..he will record it down on his laptop then i'll go to his room to watch it when i come back....which is about 10pm.....then last night was some maf thing at pgp. one senior jioed me to go for it, so i jioed everybody i knew down too....so he went too...
i really cannot believe this guy loh. half way disappeared, so i carried on with my other friends....later, got a lantern, so went exploring the pgp back gate to sci park with this other friend A. came back, saw him waving from the second level gym.....excuse: program too boring so i went to gym....
later another friend not staying at pgp joined us with a lantern....wanted to go walk ard...so we entertained him. walk walk walk half way rained heavily....so the 4 of us stranded at a bus stop. the friend took a bus and left for home just before it rained....
was quite cold and wet there...strong winds...the seats were wet....quite bad loh...and i promised to sleep early at 10 pm....we start walking at 10pm....got stranded till 11.30 was so sleepy liao....in the drizzle, started walking briskly back...reached sci park, rain again...in the end i think everybody dying to get back liao...so that guy offered to shelter me with his windbreaker. it wasn't until he guarranteed that i will be dry till we reach our block that i gave way....
the logic behind it.....it's quite confusing...if u feel something special for that girl/guy, we tend to purposely avoid her/him cuz u feel conscious about it....others you regard as friends....you just dun realise.....
reach the back gate.....realised it's locked....wanted to climb over but met with violent objections from me...so walk to KR hall then walk the long long way way the A1 bus route.....that really got me hungry. but good thing was, i was kept warm by the windbreaker....no flu yet....only headache...
we're going to chinablack on thurs.
Monday, September 01, 2003
Am mugging in the med library!!!was mugging.....
i'm going into serious studying now, next week is my first CA....
how's life everyone? feels refreshed after going home this weekend. realised that my bro misses me too....haha, he was telling me this long story about how he and his friends played basketball...with no special incident happening whatsoever. guess he was just finding something to talk about.....hahaha.
on the other hand, i've added another shameless event to my life this weekend.......i can't believe it!
i'm going into serious studying now, next week is my first CA....
how's life everyone? feels refreshed after going home this weekend. realised that my bro misses me too....haha, he was telling me this long story about how he and his friends played basketball...with no special incident happening whatsoever. guess he was just finding something to talk about.....hahaha.
on the other hand, i've added another shameless event to my life this weekend.......i can't believe it!
Friday, August 29, 2003
Great misfortune have befallen me. i spilt water on my laptop....those of u who have seen my laptop will know how much pride i have in it, coupled with the fact that it costs quite a bit....my heart really aches...the keyboard doesn't work...dare not try to switch it on for fear i will face a useless laptop. worse still, i don't know what and how to tell my mom that i spoilt my laptop just like that. now i'm in a sorry state, have to go aruond hunting for laptops and computers to use, millions and zillions thanks to faith and amy who have Graciously allowed me to use their laptop....=)...
NUSPS has thrown quite a few stuff for me to handle and frankly have little confidence that i can carry the projects through first of all they want a mid autumn festival party on 11 sep....so soon when they haven't even allowed me to recruit my com and the seniors haven't formally handed over. then i have to organise this holiday get away for the whole pharmacy dept....WOW....but i can tell that it's going ot be fun....just wondering if my activities will clash with bizcom and focc...
rite have to go...time is a great athelete.
NUSPS has thrown quite a few stuff for me to handle and frankly have little confidence that i can carry the projects through first of all they want a mid autumn festival party on 11 sep....so soon when they haven't even allowed me to recruit my com and the seniors haven't formally handed over. then i have to organise this holiday get away for the whole pharmacy dept....WOW....but i can tell that it's going ot be fun....just wondering if my activities will clash with bizcom and focc...
rite have to go...time is a great athelete.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
I'm writing this during lect now. you can't imagine how boring learning repeats of stuff you mugged so hard for, is like....and this module is supposed to be the least repeating one already. but the problem is, it's physical chem!!! i thought i'll be dealing with organic chem and could throw away anything to do with physics and physical chem...
the past hunts you, isn't it true. last night was on icq when this "old" friend picked up conversation with me. "old" coz we went out /dated for a while but didn't go further. in that sense, he's not a bf rite? well, apparently after i talked about uni life, union ball and showed him the photos, he brought the topic back to how our suppose
d relationship just ended in silence. either i have great understanding abilities or he was an open book, when we started i knew that he liked me, towards the end i also knew that he wanted and had never given up on his crush. After prom, he decided to go after her again, so i let him go. personally, i was also looking for a reason to tell him "i don't love you". wonder if its the photos or he genuinely felt bad and wanted to catch up as friends, he suggested that we meet up one of these days.....shallow? i wouldn't know
Wonders more, why i always come back to this topic. received feedback that i have a slack timetable and should have taken 6 modules, but now it's too late already. only thing to do now is do extra well for this sem's modules
8.30plus am
_________________________________________
the past hunts you, isn't it true. last night was on icq when this "old" friend picked up conversation with me. "old" coz we went out /dated for a while but didn't go further. in that sense, he's not a bf rite? well, apparently after i talked about uni life, union ball and showed him the photos, he brought the topic back to how our suppose
d relationship just ended in silence. either i have great understanding abilities or he was an open book, when we started i knew that he liked me, towards the end i also knew that he wanted and had never given up on his crush. After prom, he decided to go after her again, so i let him go. personally, i was also looking for a reason to tell him "i don't love you". wonder if its the photos or he genuinely felt bad and wanted to catch up as friends, he suggested that we meet up one of these days.....shallow? i wouldn't know
Wonders more, why i always come back to this topic. received feedback that i have a slack timetable and should have taken 6 modules, but now it's too late already. only thing to do now is do extra well for this sem's modules
8.30plus am
_________________________________________
Sunday, August 24, 2003
VERY VERY tired.....
was at the food court for "lunch" just now and my friends say i look lost and spacey....plain tired loh....slept too little over the past few days. usually i need 12 hours one loh.....
don't know why i'm still writing this now, when i'm supposed to be doing my essay which is due tonight. maybe blogging helps kick start the writing spirit....hopefully i don't get stuck while commenting in my essay later.
saw faith's blog...wah she a lot of time to go and update leh...but then most prob she types much much faster than this and it;s second nature to her already...anyway, felt that i need to let something out, sooner or later.
i miss home....it's true, though i don't like to admit it , i see it as a weakness. but the fact that my mom hung up on the phone promptly when i told her i'm not going home this weekend disturbs me, i tot she would want to talk to me more....miss my siblings too...surprisingly i don't miss my bed, it's probably stacked with stuff my family wants to pass to me....
i'm stressed with school work. i used to be far ahead of my classmates in school work, now, i'm falling behind average. people who know me long enough know i hate this feeling....but, i just never got down to reading my newly bought textbook, i even went to buy a textbook already....sigh....really want to appear all knowledgeable in tut class next week....MUST TRY.
but the main reason why i haven't done that is because i'm spending time trying to prove that i'm good or as good as my classmates in usp....think i'm really out of their league.....feel very stupid.
other than that, i got elected as sport and social director of NUSPS. not very impressive but i like the job, can lead and play at the same time, I LIKE......feel that i need to do something fast to prove my ability to the seniors....but i'm so tied up with work....how?
and i'm beginning to lose interest in bizcom. the reason why i'm staying and not really breathing a word about this is, i like to be around my friends and i like to be part of something big. and if you're in biz com, you sort of know everything that's going on around on campus....and it's just wrong to me to pull out of biz com, after the interview and all. the only reason i'm thinking of pulling out is that i'm thinking my too busy and want some free time to myself....but that's a bad reason and it does not hold water....
i really dun mind screwing up my life, if i had a lovelife to fall back on. you know, have someone to complain to, and make u feel better thinking that he's in this together with you. Then all i needed to do want start to realise i have a rather good target in my senior class, the next time i knew, i found out that he's probably attached to a classmate of mine. and it disturbs me ALOT....oh well, accordnig to the life section in the straits times as mentioned by faith, Men love women who love being alive, who are charming, interesting and engaging. hahaha, i think i only have genteelness lacking....but anyway that's a REALLY high opinion of myself..hahaha.
NEED TO PROVE MYSELF.
was at the food court for "lunch" just now and my friends say i look lost and spacey....plain tired loh....slept too little over the past few days. usually i need 12 hours one loh.....
don't know why i'm still writing this now, when i'm supposed to be doing my essay which is due tonight. maybe blogging helps kick start the writing spirit....hopefully i don't get stuck while commenting in my essay later.
saw faith's blog...wah she a lot of time to go and update leh...but then most prob she types much much faster than this and it;s second nature to her already...anyway, felt that i need to let something out, sooner or later.
i miss home....it's true, though i don't like to admit it , i see it as a weakness. but the fact that my mom hung up on the phone promptly when i told her i'm not going home this weekend disturbs me, i tot she would want to talk to me more....miss my siblings too...surprisingly i don't miss my bed, it's probably stacked with stuff my family wants to pass to me....
i'm stressed with school work. i used to be far ahead of my classmates in school work, now, i'm falling behind average. people who know me long enough know i hate this feeling....but, i just never got down to reading my newly bought textbook, i even went to buy a textbook already....sigh....really want to appear all knowledgeable in tut class next week....MUST TRY.
but the main reason why i haven't done that is because i'm spending time trying to prove that i'm good or as good as my classmates in usp....think i'm really out of their league.....feel very stupid.
other than that, i got elected as sport and social director of NUSPS. not very impressive but i like the job, can lead and play at the same time, I LIKE......feel that i need to do something fast to prove my ability to the seniors....but i'm so tied up with work....how?
and i'm beginning to lose interest in bizcom. the reason why i'm staying and not really breathing a word about this is, i like to be around my friends and i like to be part of something big. and if you're in biz com, you sort of know everything that's going on around on campus....and it's just wrong to me to pull out of biz com, after the interview and all. the only reason i'm thinking of pulling out is that i'm thinking my too busy and want some free time to myself....but that's a bad reason and it does not hold water....
i really dun mind screwing up my life, if i had a lovelife to fall back on. you know, have someone to complain to, and make u feel better thinking that he's in this together with you. Then all i needed to do want start to realise i have a rather good target in my senior class, the next time i knew, i found out that he's probably attached to a classmate of mine. and it disturbs me ALOT....oh well, accordnig to the life section in the straits times as mentioned by faith, Men love women who love being alive, who are charming, interesting and engaging. hahaha, i think i only have genteelness lacking....but anyway that's a REALLY high opinion of myself..hahaha.
NEED TO PROVE MYSELF.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
find that i've been speaking without thinking too much today...let's say this pharmacy senior of mine got a worse impression of me after every sentence i made.....OH NO!!
surprised myself by writing 2 "emotional" emails to my pharmacy class within a few days..... shall post it here...but can't find the first one already....
______________________________________________________________
Dear Shiwu, (my class rep)
you are making a BIG mistake when you said that our
morale is low.....last week maybe this was the case,
but not anymore.....
i just went down to bukit timah plaza to watch the 2nd
dance group practise.....namely carolyn, sherlyn and
rachel and amy, you girls are GREAT, in fact, kenneth
was very pleased to get the bunch of you, i'm sure you
already can tell that..and the guys....i really
appreciate all your efforts and the lengths you all
went through to make it for the rehearsals and step
out to volunteer for the dance....who could have known
that yen hon can dance so well...and arthur, is there
anything you are not good at? don't worry david and
justin you all are just as good. We aim to win!
there are many ways we gauge a victory. one is by
winning the top prize for the dance competition, the
other is from how united the group is. from today,
i'll say that WE HAVE WON TOP PRIZE, cuz the guys are
practically brothers already....and the girls....yeah
girl power.!more importantly, we have quite broken the
gender barrier that seems to be ever present in
lectures.
i'm sure with all the hard work all of us have put in,
you'll never regret signing up for the dance
competition. may the memories serve you for life.
Cheers.
______________________________________________________________
basically, a close friend and ex classmate of mine passed away.....i'm really saddened by it.....but i guess he wouldn't want me to lose my bubbliness coz of his passing away....i guess i'll feel the impact of it by and by. he's a grreat friend, always concerned, my image consultant too, and my part of my confidence, a huge part too, he's the one telling me how good i look in this outfit and terrible in another. guess it helped that we spent a good 4 hours shopping, chit chating on the day he died...will treasure the clothes and earing i bought with him...but the point of my emails was that i've found a choreographer for the trifac bash dance compeition for the pharmacy, medicine and dentistry people, ironically during my late friend's wake. and it took lots of persuasion of lots of people who aren't even in pharmacy to get the help, in the end my class didn't rise up to the occasion. so i wrote a long email expressing all the above to them. the next day the guys in class held a conference to get at least 3 of them to dance, as we had no lack of femal dancers. was really glad they understood and didn't "leave me disappointed" (words from my email).
feel so tired now. but so happy i'm part of biz com 25!
surprised myself by writing 2 "emotional" emails to my pharmacy class within a few days..... shall post it here...but can't find the first one already....
______________________________________________________________
Dear Shiwu, (my class rep)
you are making a BIG mistake when you said that our
morale is low.....last week maybe this was the case,
but not anymore.....
i just went down to bukit timah plaza to watch the 2nd
dance group practise.....namely carolyn, sherlyn and
rachel and amy, you girls are GREAT, in fact, kenneth
was very pleased to get the bunch of you, i'm sure you
already can tell that..and the guys....i really
appreciate all your efforts and the lengths you all
went through to make it for the rehearsals and step
out to volunteer for the dance....who could have known
that yen hon can dance so well...and arthur, is there
anything you are not good at? don't worry david and
justin you all are just as good. We aim to win!
there are many ways we gauge a victory. one is by
winning the top prize for the dance competition, the
other is from how united the group is. from today,
i'll say that WE HAVE WON TOP PRIZE, cuz the guys are
practically brothers already....and the girls....yeah
girl power.!more importantly, we have quite broken the
gender barrier that seems to be ever present in
lectures.
i'm sure with all the hard work all of us have put in,
you'll never regret signing up for the dance
competition. may the memories serve you for life.
Cheers.
______________________________________________________________
basically, a close friend and ex classmate of mine passed away.....i'm really saddened by it.....but i guess he wouldn't want me to lose my bubbliness coz of his passing away....i guess i'll feel the impact of it by and by. he's a grreat friend, always concerned, my image consultant too, and my part of my confidence, a huge part too, he's the one telling me how good i look in this outfit and terrible in another. guess it helped that we spent a good 4 hours shopping, chit chating on the day he died...will treasure the clothes and earing i bought with him...but the point of my emails was that i've found a choreographer for the trifac bash dance compeition for the pharmacy, medicine and dentistry people, ironically during my late friend's wake. and it took lots of persuasion of lots of people who aren't even in pharmacy to get the help, in the end my class didn't rise up to the occasion. so i wrote a long email expressing all the above to them. the next day the guys in class held a conference to get at least 3 of them to dance, as we had no lack of femal dancers. was really glad they understood and didn't "leave me disappointed" (words from my email).
feel so tired now. but so happy i'm part of biz com 25!
Thursday, August 14, 2003
SKI yoghurt is nice.....
just came back from Zouk....found that phuture has a nice ambience than zouk...my first time there btw. me and my friend play in the promotion games and won quite a bit....got 3 $30 vouchers for iRiver products....2 $5 vouchers for brosproducts...a blow-up pillow...and a very squeezable bear....biggest take away....didn't drink at all....good thing....left early...good thing too....transport is not a trouble....like the feeling.
and went SHOPPING today....and bought 3 tops.....OMG....only intended to buy one chiong top...but in the end bought 3 casual tops....but i really like them. tried on lots of clothes too hehe....there was this black dress with a draping collar and sort of necklace chain on it from top shop....very nice....best thing, i look good in it...and there was this spag strap like thing from another shop but it has a zip in the front all thru it.....nice too....specially designed to show off your belly button...hahaha.....so long didn't shop already....enjoyed myself....
yesterday went for bridge lesson.....kaoz....was almost like the only girl there...then later my 2 friends zao4 didn't tell me somemore....and to top that up...kenna bullied by the guys i was playing with....kept losing...*sob sob*......and when the in charged told me that no pharmacy students join the club before....that was the ultimate,.....began doubting.....must be a serious reason why there aren't any pharmacy students in bridge right?
achieved something new yesterday.....i didn't eat breakfast lunch and dinner....or rather anything substantial....only eat 4 small pieces of biscuit, 2 small slices of my coconut cake...and some wang4 wang4.....really made myself wonder how i survived....
just came back from Zouk....found that phuture has a nice ambience than zouk...my first time there btw. me and my friend play in the promotion games and won quite a bit....got 3 $30 vouchers for iRiver products....2 $5 vouchers for brosproducts...a blow-up pillow...and a very squeezable bear....biggest take away....didn't drink at all....good thing....left early...good thing too....transport is not a trouble....like the feeling.
and went SHOPPING today....and bought 3 tops.....OMG....only intended to buy one chiong top...but in the end bought 3 casual tops....but i really like them. tried on lots of clothes too hehe....there was this black dress with a draping collar and sort of necklace chain on it from top shop....very nice....best thing, i look good in it...and there was this spag strap like thing from another shop but it has a zip in the front all thru it.....nice too....specially designed to show off your belly button...hahaha.....so long didn't shop already....enjoyed myself....
yesterday went for bridge lesson.....kaoz....was almost like the only girl there...then later my 2 friends zao4 didn't tell me somemore....and to top that up...kenna bullied by the guys i was playing with....kept losing...*sob sob*......and when the in charged told me that no pharmacy students join the club before....that was the ultimate,.....began doubting.....must be a serious reason why there aren't any pharmacy students in bridge right?
achieved something new yesterday.....i didn't eat breakfast lunch and dinner....or rather anything substantial....only eat 4 small pieces of biscuit, 2 small slices of my coconut cake...and some wang4 wang4.....really made myself wonder how i survived....
Monday, August 11, 2003
received a rose today. an artificial one...the kind that you make it out of plastic material. but know what? he actually bought it for his crush to apologise to her....dun think it'll work though......and he decided to give some of his females friends one each too....sigh sigh....
anyway, went to help out at the welfare bazaar today...sat there with justin from my class for one hour, met lots of med friends from seniors too....lots of pharmacy friends dropped by too....but my booth got nothing to show...not to mention sell/ promote....when finally the stuff came....they were all working clothes...not exactly saleable material...and to top it up, the booth beside mine is selling new Lea clothes..feel like hopping over to their booth instead...
today's morning lect was.....generally feeling was, the lecturer is good...speaks understandable english but the content is a repeat of a level....how not to be bored leh? so spent my time doing the secret pal thingy i'm organising for my class....think we really need to get out of our clicks and mix around...this will be a good way. YAY!! so happy i finally carried thru the first part of this "project"....got everybody a sp by the end of 2nd lect.
talking about 2nd lect....whoa...killer man....after not touching any organic chem for 8 months....today we were introduced to new compounds and functional groups.....think no matter how good we are....all of us had to admit we were lost in there....and it's only the first lect.....tsk tsk...must go get a text book to read....
faith: i'll definitely do that......
anyway, went to help out at the welfare bazaar today...sat there with justin from my class for one hour, met lots of med friends from seniors too....lots of pharmacy friends dropped by too....but my booth got nothing to show...not to mention sell/ promote....when finally the stuff came....they were all working clothes...not exactly saleable material...and to top it up, the booth beside mine is selling new Lea clothes..feel like hopping over to their booth instead...
today's morning lect was.....generally feeling was, the lecturer is good...speaks understandable english but the content is a repeat of a level....how not to be bored leh? so spent my time doing the secret pal thingy i'm organising for my class....think we really need to get out of our clicks and mix around...this will be a good way. YAY!! so happy i finally carried thru the first part of this "project"....got everybody a sp by the end of 2nd lect.
talking about 2nd lect....whoa...killer man....after not touching any organic chem for 8 months....today we were introduced to new compounds and functional groups.....think no matter how good we are....all of us had to admit we were lost in there....and it's only the first lect.....tsk tsk...must go get a text book to read....
faith: i'll definitely do that......
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Reason why i didn't elaborate on the guy: i find out that he's got a crush and she's not me....
Reasons i have a good impression of him:
1)he has the gift of gab
2)he really looks out for his friends
3)he's nice to get along with
4)he's smart, ok-looking, interesting
5)can't tell he plays harmonica too
6)he loves humanitarian work.
too good to be true right....that's why...that's why...
Reasons i have a good impression of him:
1)he has the gift of gab
2)he really looks out for his friends
3)he's nice to get along with
4)he's smart, ok-looking, interesting
5)can't tell he plays harmonica too
6)he loves humanitarian work.
too good to be true right....that's why...that's why...
Saturday, August 09, 2003
have lots to say...but was prevented by my own fatigue and malaysia's terrible power system...
anyway, want to say i had a good week, it falls within my expectations, and i got to meet many friends, made new friends and got to catch up with really "old" ones.
Fruitful week.
first, i found out my alcohol tolerance level. accompanied by how to tell i'm drunk..(the area around my eyes turn red, very interesting sign), and i'm a bit allergic to alcohol. *flings hands in the air* off all things, to be allergic to seafood and alcohol. but alcohol is a diff kind of allergy, seafood is atopic.
second, found a really nice guy....*hehe*...best part, i think got chance..
third, settled my laptop stuff and learnt to fully make use of nuscast...hahahaha
can't think of the rest...that's why my memory is failing, i'm getting old ...
anyway, want to say i had a good week, it falls within my expectations, and i got to meet many friends, made new friends and got to catch up with really "old" ones.
Fruitful week.
first, i found out my alcohol tolerance level. accompanied by how to tell i'm drunk..(the area around my eyes turn red, very interesting sign), and i'm a bit allergic to alcohol. *flings hands in the air* off all things, to be allergic to seafood and alcohol. but alcohol is a diff kind of allergy, seafood is atopic.
second, found a really nice guy....*hehe*...best part, i think got chance..
third, settled my laptop stuff and learnt to fully make use of nuscast...hahahaha
can't think of the rest...that's why my memory is failing, i'm getting old ...
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
so long.....finally got my notebook configured today.....and it was quite an adventure....
got back to my room after playing captains ball for pharmacy orientation....hahaha, quite fun...the people..one guy eric was so sorry he "caused" me to fall..actually is i wanted to intercept the ball, bo4 cheng2 gong1 then fall one...then got another guy act like a girl...totally "no ethics" at all....we scream...he also scream and scream louder than us....tsk tsk tsk.....then the more interesting part was that me and this other girl, michelle, put up a great show, with regards to showing how close girls can be...the seniors cannot stand us...hahahahaha
Went to the comp centre...i meet a year one who is going to study there, she told me i should go to the co-op comp centre...so i trudged there, then the people there made me wait like quite long before somebody came over to tell me i have to go to the 2nd level of comp centre....so bo bian....walk back again....then after quite a while got everything configured...then went to buy the lan cable from george's mart...then realised i didn't have my wallet with me on my way back to my block...so walk all the way back again...then the cashier said never see my wallet.....eng liao loh....so went all the way to make a report....then walk all the way back to my room...notebook actually 1.5 kg but by the time i reach my room it weighed a ton...just put down my notebook, the security called me to say they got my wallet liao.....elated man!!!!....was thinking whether i should call my mom to tell her to cancel my account already.....then thnking of how she's going to scold me...if i called her again...it'll be the 4th time i'm called her today.....
so there ends my adventurous day....
was thinking that M1 and singtel are such copycats...all got free incoming now...especially M1...first they come up with a few adverts saying how free incoming service is so inconvenient....then they have this new plan....what can i say....
got back to my room after playing captains ball for pharmacy orientation....hahaha, quite fun...the people..one guy eric was so sorry he "caused" me to fall..actually is i wanted to intercept the ball, bo4 cheng2 gong1 then fall one...then got another guy act like a girl...totally "no ethics" at all....we scream...he also scream and scream louder than us....tsk tsk tsk.....then the more interesting part was that me and this other girl, michelle, put up a great show, with regards to showing how close girls can be...the seniors cannot stand us...hahahahaha
Went to the comp centre...i meet a year one who is going to study there, she told me i should go to the co-op comp centre...so i trudged there, then the people there made me wait like quite long before somebody came over to tell me i have to go to the 2nd level of comp centre....so bo bian....walk back again....then after quite a while got everything configured...then went to buy the lan cable from george's mart...then realised i didn't have my wallet with me on my way back to my block...so walk all the way back again...then the cashier said never see my wallet.....eng liao loh....so went all the way to make a report....then walk all the way back to my room...notebook actually 1.5 kg but by the time i reach my room it weighed a ton...just put down my notebook, the security called me to say they got my wallet liao.....elated man!!!!....was thinking whether i should call my mom to tell her to cancel my account already.....then thnking of how she's going to scold me...if i called her again...it'll be the 4th time i'm called her today.....
so there ends my adventurous day....
was thinking that M1 and singtel are such copycats...all got free incoming now...especially M1...first they come up with a few adverts saying how free incoming service is so inconvenient....then they have this new plan....what can i say....
Thursday, July 31, 2003
went to try coloured contacts today...$30 a pair...quite cheap...but it only lasts for 2 weeks....i'd rather buy from malaysia and for RM80 and it last for 3 months....decided to choose the "honey" colour...the other colours don't work for me....gray gives a wise look....that's why it doesn't work for me at all...hahaha
so happy to see my friends from medicine and engin again today.....spent 3 hours in school hanging around with them.....WOW....
so happy i finally got my laptop connected to the internet...the modem card was spoilt ....oh well, i feel that with every fault that happens to my laptop i learn more about comp hardware....it's really helps to have comp savy friends and a comp-engin-grad-cousin...hahaha
so happy to see my friends from medicine and engin again today.....spent 3 hours in school hanging around with them.....WOW....
so happy i finally got my laptop connected to the internet...the modem card was spoilt ....oh well, i feel that with every fault that happens to my laptop i learn more about comp hardware....it's really helps to have comp savy friends and a comp-engin-grad-cousin...hahaha
I HAD A HECTIC DAY>>>>>BUT I LOVE IT>
*sums everything up doesn't it*
anyway sch's sort of started....think i got to exercise more tolerance towards the lecturers...walked out of the course briefing talk today, skipped the NUS overseas college talk and dean's tea too....*way to go!!*
so confused as to which ecas i'm most interested in and which ones to join...actually my mom said "JOIN ONE ONLY!!!"
i'd like to obey her...but ......but.....ecas are so interesting...i would really like to obey her...so that by some miracle i can obtain a 4.** something this sem...Tall order rite???
I love karaoke....IT"S MY LIFE, it's now or never...i ain't gonna live forever...(imagine singing away the chorus when your friend's trying to tell the waitress there's something wrong it the computer display) hahahahaha...
another interesting thing happened today...i was eating this lollipop on the mrt today...no food no drinks but didn't say no sweets rite? so i was sitting there enjoying my lollipop and this woman who was observing me broke out laughing...then i looked at her in this puzzled manner and....she laughed more and walked out of the mrt....
*sums everything up doesn't it*
anyway sch's sort of started....think i got to exercise more tolerance towards the lecturers...walked out of the course briefing talk today, skipped the NUS overseas college talk and dean's tea too....*way to go!!*
so confused as to which ecas i'm most interested in and which ones to join...actually my mom said "JOIN ONE ONLY!!!"
i'd like to obey her...but ......but.....ecas are so interesting...i would really like to obey her...so that by some miracle i can obtain a 4.** something this sem...Tall order rite???
I love karaoke....IT"S MY LIFE, it's now or never...i ain't gonna live forever...(imagine singing away the chorus when your friend's trying to tell the waitress there's something wrong it the computer display) hahahahaha...
another interesting thing happened today...i was eating this lollipop on the mrt today...no food no drinks but didn't say no sweets rite? so i was sitting there enjoying my lollipop and this woman who was observing me broke out laughing...then i looked at her in this puzzled manner and....she laughed more and walked out of the mrt....
Monday, July 28, 2003
Promised myself i'll go swimming today, so that i'll work off that muscle ache after basketball....
got on to a pretty start where i tried (but failed) to finish 2 laps in 5 mins...fell slow after the 12th lap...tsk tsk....
anyway...was struggling to fight all the waves created by new additions to the pool...next time i hope there'll be less people....
But, i had a feast for my eyes despite all the incoming attack-waves...at about 6, this family of 3 came in...the girl immediately proceeded to do 2 laps of freestyle without stopping...
the feast was the grace and skill with which exudes from her every move...every turn...from the blue waves.. lean, tanned arms shoot out one after the other...slicing through the waters...gathering speed with those slender fishlike legs of hers...(dun doubt my preferences...i still like guys..)
later...even had the privileges of witnessing her learning butterfly stroke from her father....man, does she look like a mermaid.....
On another note...we are all familiar with the "if it's good, praise, if it's bad, shut up" attitude...we're brought up with it. true, it saves you lots of criticism and bad looks from others....i know it's bad to harbour eeevil thoughts ...it kind of implies that you're not the contented lot in society...but compare this to the "speak up" spirit overseas...standing up for what you like and not like as well. for me, i'm gonna have problems adapting to the latter...but some how...we are supposed to be moving towards the "speak up" spirit rite???
got on to a pretty start where i tried (but failed) to finish 2 laps in 5 mins...fell slow after the 12th lap...tsk tsk....
anyway...was struggling to fight all the waves created by new additions to the pool...next time i hope there'll be less people....
But, i had a feast for my eyes despite all the incoming attack-waves...at about 6, this family of 3 came in...the girl immediately proceeded to do 2 laps of freestyle without stopping...
the feast was the grace and skill with which exudes from her every move...every turn...from the blue waves.. lean, tanned arms shoot out one after the other...slicing through the waters...gathering speed with those slender fishlike legs of hers...(dun doubt my preferences...i still like guys..)
later...even had the privileges of witnessing her learning butterfly stroke from her father....man, does she look like a mermaid.....
On another note...we are all familiar with the "if it's good, praise, if it's bad, shut up" attitude...we're brought up with it. true, it saves you lots of criticism and bad looks from others....i know it's bad to harbour eeevil thoughts ...it kind of implies that you're not the contented lot in society...but compare this to the "speak up" spirit overseas...standing up for what you like and not like as well. for me, i'm gonna have problems adapting to the latter...but some how...we are supposed to be moving towards the "speak up" spirit rite???
Sunday, July 27, 2003
wow, so happy that i have more than 1 comment on my last blog...
anyway, the happier news is....i got accepted into USP....why so late only know? coz they held the interview for foreigners in LATE july...Finally...i'm successful in something...
school's gonna start...so busy..must fill out so many forms..talk about the pros and cons of school....
it's the one place you can meet your friends without having to arrange...
you get into a routine life...at least you have work you HAVE to finish...
you get to learn things...
you get to join all the exciting ecas....and meet lots of new people
BUT on the other hand
you can't slack all day
you can't go out every day...got to adhere to a timetable...
you have to sit through long lectures...and stay up all night doing tutorials and projects
sigh...
anyway, the happier news is....i got accepted into USP....why so late only know? coz they held the interview for foreigners in LATE july...Finally...i'm successful in something...
school's gonna start...so busy..must fill out so many forms..talk about the pros and cons of school....
it's the one place you can meet your friends without having to arrange...
you get into a routine life...at least you have work you HAVE to finish...
you get to learn things...
you get to join all the exciting ecas....and meet lots of new people
BUT on the other hand
you can't slack all day
you can't go out every day...got to adhere to a timetable...
you have to sit through long lectures...and stay up all night doing tutorials and projects
sigh...
Friday, July 25, 2003
had the best time playing basketball today...
the weather was good...depending on how you see it....when we started it was threatening to rain...so the weather was cool and windy and the sky was overcast...good feeling to be playing in the rain....reminds me of sec sch days...
when it did rain, we played "monkey"...still very fun...the monkeys were very sporting...some of them kept getting "monkeyed"....lucky me...didn't get monkeyed at all...hehehe...
got to thank the seniors who invited me...didn't really feel the age gap though...some of you really look youthful!!
want to play basketball AGAIN!!!
the weather was good...depending on how you see it....when we started it was threatening to rain...so the weather was cool and windy and the sky was overcast...good feeling to be playing in the rain....reminds me of sec sch days...
when it did rain, we played "monkey"...still very fun...the monkeys were very sporting...some of them kept getting "monkeyed"....lucky me...didn't get monkeyed at all...hehehe...
got to thank the seniors who invited me...didn't really feel the age gap though...some of you really look youthful!!
want to play basketball AGAIN!!!
Thursday, July 24, 2003
down with flu....it's terrible....
Faith: thanks for your encouragement gal....oh, and your blog after you got better from your "depression" made me laugh....it tickles...although maybe you didn't mean it...haha.
staying at home isn't as bad as it sounds....though all of you may think i missed out a lot and i'm just consolling myself... actually i've been doing a lot...
you see, i was expecting a group of friends to stay over on wednesday night...so on tuesday...which was the first day i was stuck at home, i started cleaning up my house...when one reallt gets started there are so many things to do...and the house really felt big to me...greatest achievement was that i did quite a shining job at washing the car and clearing out the sitting room...*lots of sweat*...
wednesday came and managed to bake a welcome walnut cake for my friends before i went to meet them....(i had little time coz i slept till 1pm...i know i keep the hours of a vampire)...did a bit of window shopping and eating...then more eating during dinner were we pigged out at a seafood shop...RM186....for crab, prawns and fish...think it's some expensive fish at that too...for 11 pple....never spent so much on food...most of us were girls...so i really didn't expect that after all that food and an extra plate of noodles, some of them could still find stomach for a burger...WOW.....
then we talked till 3 am....that's not very late....talking about everything....guess what we slept in late today too....late...
yup yup, the days passed happily...tmr will be friday..and soon it's be matriculation and then school starts....got to take anatomy this sem....hope it's as interesting as i make it out to be...
here's to everybody's happiness, coz i'm contented with being a home-girl...
*CHEERS*
Faith: thanks for your encouragement gal....oh, and your blog after you got better from your "depression" made me laugh....it tickles...although maybe you didn't mean it...haha.
staying at home isn't as bad as it sounds....though all of you may think i missed out a lot and i'm just consolling myself... actually i've been doing a lot...
you see, i was expecting a group of friends to stay over on wednesday night...so on tuesday...which was the first day i was stuck at home, i started cleaning up my house...when one reallt gets started there are so many things to do...and the house really felt big to me...greatest achievement was that i did quite a shining job at washing the car and clearing out the sitting room...*lots of sweat*...
wednesday came and managed to bake a welcome walnut cake for my friends before i went to meet them....(i had little time coz i slept till 1pm...i know i keep the hours of a vampire)...did a bit of window shopping and eating...then more eating during dinner were we pigged out at a seafood shop...RM186....for crab, prawns and fish...think it's some expensive fish at that too...for 11 pple....never spent so much on food...most of us were girls...so i really didn't expect that after all that food and an extra plate of noodles, some of them could still find stomach for a burger...WOW.....
then we talked till 3 am....that's not very late....talking about everything....guess what we slept in late today too....late...
yup yup, the days passed happily...tmr will be friday..and soon it's be matriculation and then school starts....got to take anatomy this sem....hope it's as interesting as i make it out to be...
here's to everybody's happiness, coz i'm contented with being a home-girl...
*CHEERS*
Monday, July 21, 2003
Screwed....
can't go to the skin specialist for my leg...cuz it's my fault, after having fun (which sounds like a sin to my father), and spending money on it, i have to spend money on injuries which i incurred during my expensive fun, just because i don't know how to take care of myself.
i'm so clueless about what i'm going to do with my life....i'm just drifting along, whereas people are so organised and focused on their objectives...they plan and take part in everything for the sake of the future.....
i don't know why i'm keeping my life...probably because i won't know what will happen to me after that, maybe coz i live only once...i'm once again clueless....maybe i shouldn't try so hard to keep my friends....wait for them to take the initiative....like i've always been doing....so tired so tired...
can't go to the skin specialist for my leg...cuz it's my fault, after having fun (which sounds like a sin to my father), and spending money on it, i have to spend money on injuries which i incurred during my expensive fun, just because i don't know how to take care of myself.
i'm so clueless about what i'm going to do with my life....i'm just drifting along, whereas people are so organised and focused on their objectives...they plan and take part in everything for the sake of the future.....
i don't know why i'm keeping my life...probably because i won't know what will happen to me after that, maybe coz i live only once...i'm once again clueless....maybe i shouldn't try so hard to keep my friends....wait for them to take the initiative....like i've always been doing....so tired so tired...
Saturday, July 19, 2003
when i'm tired or bored, i keep quiet.
when i'm irritated, i keep very quiet.
i'm so tired of this Cinderella thing i'm keeping up, i feel like shutting myself up at home until school starts....i fear that my mom won't let me out, then i have to keep to a time limit, then after i spend money, i feel so guilty....cost it's spent in the name of fun....
finish a story yesterday...THE FIRST EVENING by Marguerite Yourcenar.....great writer!
it took me a long time to finish this short story....as my comprehension skills are not good at all, so i had to go back and read the same paragraph a few times...not to mention the sentences are very long and winding.....
the story talks about this newly-wed couple...their first evening....as the title suggests. the problem is, the girl thinks she loves him and the guy loves her for the person she is before the marriage....so once she snuggles into her position as his wife.....
anyway, every single thing he saw heard reminded him of his mistress....who is, of cuz, not his current wife....so he had problems getting emotionally intimate with his new bride. ultimately the story ended by the mistress dying....and this event sort of solved the whole problem....
so i was thinking, is it better to be the mistress or the wife....??would you rather be a memory or the living thing who lives with the man for the rest of his life?
another question,.....is death the best way around this tricky situation?
when i'm irritated, i keep very quiet.
i'm so tired of this Cinderella thing i'm keeping up, i feel like shutting myself up at home until school starts....i fear that my mom won't let me out, then i have to keep to a time limit, then after i spend money, i feel so guilty....cost it's spent in the name of fun....
finish a story yesterday...THE FIRST EVENING by Marguerite Yourcenar.....great writer!
it took me a long time to finish this short story....as my comprehension skills are not good at all, so i had to go back and read the same paragraph a few times...not to mention the sentences are very long and winding.....
the story talks about this newly-wed couple...their first evening....as the title suggests. the problem is, the girl thinks she loves him and the guy loves her for the person she is before the marriage....so once she snuggles into her position as his wife.....
anyway, every single thing he saw heard reminded him of his mistress....who is, of cuz, not his current wife....so he had problems getting emotionally intimate with his new bride. ultimately the story ended by the mistress dying....and this event sort of solved the whole problem....
so i was thinking, is it better to be the mistress or the wife....??would you rather be a memory or the living thing who lives with the man for the rest of his life?
another question,.....is death the best way around this tricky situation?
Friday, July 18, 2003
i've finally realised something today. i'm in denial....
i've known this guy for 6 years...long...but we rarely engage in conversation. why? simply because we tot we belonged to two different kinds of people...him being the kind who has few friends but all of whom, he knew very well. but me? i prefered to know lots of people with only less than a handful who knew who i really was....
today, i was surrounded with lots of fun-loving people and....i felt left out....i couldn't believe it, i've wanted to be with these people so much....now i've with them, i feel something lacking...it has nothing to do with them, it's me....(poor gal, now she knows she's always been in denial)
I REALISED that i'm actually very much like him, i want deep friendships....just that i've been denying that i'm essentially a quiet person, that i like small groups, and i only sit and observe when i'm in a big grp...i looked at everybody and asked how much do i know about everyone of them...i've only known them for...10 days!!!
look ard again....i haven't found a person who shares my thoughts...i haven't shown my true self even....
i've known this guy for 6 years...long...but we rarely engage in conversation. why? simply because we tot we belonged to two different kinds of people...him being the kind who has few friends but all of whom, he knew very well. but me? i prefered to know lots of people with only less than a handful who knew who i really was....
today, i was surrounded with lots of fun-loving people and....i felt left out....i couldn't believe it, i've wanted to be with these people so much....now i've with them, i feel something lacking...it has nothing to do with them, it's me....(poor gal, now she knows she's always been in denial)
I REALISED that i'm actually very much like him, i want deep friendships....just that i've been denying that i'm essentially a quiet person, that i like small groups, and i only sit and observe when i'm in a big grp...i looked at everybody and asked how much do i know about everyone of them...i've only known them for...10 days!!!
look ard again....i haven't found a person who shares my thoughts...i haven't shown my true self even....
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Yippie....Yeah....HuRRAAAYYY.....
I finally got consent from my mom to go for dinner tomorrow....
here's how:
3.40pm mom called me to pick her up from the customs..
3.45pm left the house and rushed down to town, hoping i'm not late cuz i was on the internet for a while.
4.05pm reached town and picked my mom up, at a very surprising speed....i didn't speed that much....didn't feel that i sped even....clear traffic perhaps...
then i listened to her talk and talk about school and everything while jamming my mind on how to best suggest that i go out tomorrow....
sometime near 5....i succeeded.....YESH...so i called Sheila and told her i could finally make it....her surprised accent confirmed my surprise as well....
now, things does not look half as bad as things were on wednesday....personally i was considering whether i should selfishly keep this joy ot myself....
BUT oh well, what's a blog site for....if not for posting all sorts of crap on it....
finally saw a movie i want to watch :Alex and emma.....
*wonders hard whether i will get to watch it tmr*
I finally got consent from my mom to go for dinner tomorrow....
here's how:
3.40pm mom called me to pick her up from the customs..
3.45pm left the house and rushed down to town, hoping i'm not late cuz i was on the internet for a while.
4.05pm reached town and picked my mom up, at a very surprising speed....i didn't speed that much....didn't feel that i sped even....clear traffic perhaps...
then i listened to her talk and talk about school and everything while jamming my mind on how to best suggest that i go out tomorrow....
sometime near 5....i succeeded.....YESH...so i called Sheila and told her i could finally make it....her surprised accent confirmed my surprise as well....
now, things does not look half as bad as things were on wednesday....personally i was considering whether i should selfishly keep this joy ot myself....
BUT oh well, what's a blog site for....if not for posting all sorts of crap on it....
finally saw a movie i want to watch :Alex and emma.....
*wonders hard whether i will get to watch it tmr*
Am glad some of u who has read my first entry understands my wanting....to go out...
saw another cause-effect example happen last night, again.
from the way i see it, i'm at fault. at around evening, i was still very bored and i decided to send out some whine-smses....in the end, because of it, one friend decided to give up the fun everybody was hyped up about, to stay home and accompany me online.....
i'm so touched. seriously, i think it's my fault this friend has one less chance to interact with the rest. selfishly thinking, i've found a precious friend to keep. Unless you know what i'm thinking, you don't know how much that small gesture means to me....
saw another cause-effect example happen last night, again.
from the way i see it, i'm at fault. at around evening, i was still very bored and i decided to send out some whine-smses....in the end, because of it, one friend decided to give up the fun everybody was hyped up about, to stay home and accompany me online.....
i'm so touched. seriously, i think it's my fault this friend has one less chance to interact with the rest. selfishly thinking, i've found a precious friend to keep. Unless you know what i'm thinking, you don't know how much that small gesture means to me....
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
SIGH.....
felt that i needed a blog space, otherwise i'll be flooding all the yahoo groups i'm in...
anyway it's been an awfully slow day for me....why slow?i've been gearing up for 2 camps which took place in the last 2 weeks and suddenly everything's over....i can't go out every single day....PERIOD. my siblings are SOO jealous of my new found friendships and have egged my mom to say NO to any of my activities....
And my mom, for the love of her eldest daughter, has given in....says i need to wait for my wounds to heal. SO now i'm sitting here marvelling over the wonders of cause and effect.
i was bored at home so i joined the Acts factor camp. the camp, being a survivor+fear factor camp, was quite physical. and my thin-skinned feet can't take the toll of the sun, sand and sea...
everybody arond me has probably heard me whine and whine about my burst blister...personally, i'm sick of myself whining about it already.
Consequently, my blister burst and was infected....and, being a very responsible person, i told myself i had to go for Union camp.....i just can't miss the fun....
BUT what the heck, now i'm missing ALL the fun of having lunch at bedok, watching T3, having dinner at orchard and most importantly.....CHIONGING AT ZOUK.............
[at this point i'm feeling much like Harry Potter, who broke down and shouted at Dumbledore, very much the spoilt, attention-seeker i am]
felt that i needed a blog space, otherwise i'll be flooding all the yahoo groups i'm in...
anyway it's been an awfully slow day for me....why slow?i've been gearing up for 2 camps which took place in the last 2 weeks and suddenly everything's over....i can't go out every single day....PERIOD. my siblings are SOO jealous of my new found friendships and have egged my mom to say NO to any of my activities....
And my mom, for the love of her eldest daughter, has given in....says i need to wait for my wounds to heal. SO now i'm sitting here marvelling over the wonders of cause and effect.
i was bored at home so i joined the Acts factor camp. the camp, being a survivor+fear factor camp, was quite physical. and my thin-skinned feet can't take the toll of the sun, sand and sea...
everybody arond me has probably heard me whine and whine about my burst blister...personally, i'm sick of myself whining about it already.
Consequently, my blister burst and was infected....and, being a very responsible person, i told myself i had to go for Union camp.....i just can't miss the fun....
BUT what the heck, now i'm missing ALL the fun of having lunch at bedok, watching T3, having dinner at orchard and most importantly.....CHIONGING AT ZOUK.............
[at this point i'm feeling much like Harry Potter, who broke down and shouted at Dumbledore, very much the spoilt, attention-seeker i am]
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