i've finally realised something today. i'm in denial....

i've known this guy for 6 years...long...but we rarely engage in conversation. why? simply because we tot we belonged to two different kinds of people...him being the kind who has few friends but all of whom, he knew very well. but me? i prefered to know lots of people with only less than a handful who knew who i really was....

today, i was surrounded with lots of fun-loving people and....i felt left out....i couldn't believe it, i've wanted to be with these people so much....now i've with them, i feel something lacking...it has nothing to do with them, it's me....(poor gal, now she knows she's always been in denial)

I REALISED that i'm actually very much like him, i want deep friendships....just that i've been denying that i'm essentially a quiet person, that i like small groups, and i only sit and observe when i'm in a big grp...i looked at everybody and asked how much do i know about everyone of them...i've only known them for...10 days!!!

look ard again....i haven't found a person who shares my thoughts...i haven't shown my true self even....