when i'm tired or bored, i keep quiet.

when i'm irritated, i keep very quiet.

i'm so tired of this Cinderella thing i'm keeping up, i feel like shutting myself up at home until school starts....i fear that my mom won't let me out, then i have to keep to a time limit, then after i spend money, i feel so guilty....cost it's spent in the name of fun....

finish a story yesterday...THE FIRST EVENING by Marguerite Yourcenar.....great writer!

it took me a long time to finish this short story....as my comprehension skills are not good at all, so i had to go back and read the same paragraph a few times...not to mention the sentences are very long and winding.....

the story talks about this newly-wed couple...their first evening....as the title suggests. the problem is, the girl thinks she loves him and the guy loves her for the person she is before the marriage....so once she snuggles into her position as his wife.....

anyway, every single thing he saw heard reminded him of his mistress....who is, of cuz, not his current wife....so he had problems getting emotionally intimate with his new bride. ultimately the story ended by the mistress dying....and this event sort of solved the whole problem....

so i was thinking, is it better to be the mistress or the wife....??would you rather be a memory or the living thing who lives with the man for the rest of his life?

another question,.....is death the best way around this tricky situation?