i find myself in a crisis. Jeremy is leaving in 7 days, i have tests and deadlines to meet, my dance lessons are ending...seems that all my pleasures are going to be taken away from me in a matter of days.

is it a coincidence that my birthday is just around the corner, signalling to me that i have to mature whether i like it or not. and every year when i mature, i would have to meet my ex, my first love actually. it's not really torture but something close. have i mentioned that i still can't help feeling jealous about jx and him. but still, every year, i bring myself to meet him, to check if he's still living, to see whether i can get over him, and shamelessly hoping to hear news of his breakup. nonetheless, we never touch on these issues when we meet, only small talk about books and maybe music. that's all. how sad.