Haha, treated Him to Fish & Co. even though i couldn't eat seafood. that's also precisely why i must bring him there, being with me means less seafood to eat, so must pity him, treat him some.

Desserts? Gobi desserts has all sorts of interesting stuff. i remember some being very sweet, some having cranberry flavoured chocolate truffle...hmmm, yum yum. but finish already. nonetheless, was a very good surprise gift for Vday. so embarrassing, always make Nigel spend so much.

Weather forecast


Strong winds blowing your way. But do take heed, the winds are dwindling, kite-flyers please take note!!

Nigel helped me make this:



Comments?

YEah! Success...Today, I certify myself capable to teach both Bachata and Merengue...the class i tot today got so high after hearing the music and practising the variations, i had problems calmming them down. We did the helicoptor and the second part of "Macucho" ... so we went round and round and went crazy... haha..

later we played merengue all night long!!!

no no no, no one could have survived that...just joking. we did 2 more songs after class ended and that was officially the limit that almost everyone had.. for their muscles. i think everyone agreed that it's a good way to work your Lats/Abs.

at first i tot it was going to be very fast..when i saw that they could do the side to side isolation. but the hardest part to convey was the stepping motion.

"step on your toes first"

"shift your weight"

"bend your knees"

repeat x 10, one minute apart. students could only get the idea after some much stressing....

one student mentioned that my gimmick of making everyone hold their hands up, grab the arm of the people beside, and the whole row of people isolate together, was the best way of illustrating isolation. haha. +1 point to yanqing who gave me the idea.

Went for a course on saturday to learn how to use adobe premiere, didn't learn that much, but i made use of the time and resources to do this:



the original video is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS58jCTZHZw

too bad the edited version is so blur...

first of all, i want to express my deepest regret that i'm not updating my blog. (esp to misch and Qiu)

nonetheless, when i have more work to do, i want to blog more, so here i am.

Yesterday night went of PRU's V bash at St james' power station. the place is very huge. as in it houses more than 1 club. i think there's a restaurant there too. and the ceiling is very high....and there's a reason for having one too. or rather, they put the high ceiling to good use. What happened was, they had 3 acrobats in the house, and they did stuns while keeping themselves wound on the 6 metre cloth.

its quite accessible, just a road away from Vivocity. but never attempt to park at st james'. it's $6 for first 5 hours from 5pm-7am. and you get charged every hour before or after that. so, park at Vivo. it's $2 per entry in the evening/night.

the music was good for like 30mins. then after that it was trance...so i left before it was even 11pm.

on the flipside, maybe it was good to leave at that time. coz at that time all the children playing/splashing in the waddling pool at the ceiling of Vivo were gone. and soaking your feet in the cooling waters was really "shiok".

all in all, i spend $5 on housepour (screwdriver, not bad for housepour, usually other clubs/pubs don't offer screwdriver as housepour), $5 to watch the amazing acrobats, and $5 to watch 2 bartop dancers grind a transverstite (who was supposedly a girl, who happened to be participating in the bartop dancing compeition as well). Sounds worth it. haha.

想当年。。。。

如果我学会机灵一点，我的"Chemicals and Us"就不会因为没注意时间而拿了零分。那我的CAP就会〉3.7分。说不定， 今年就会被允许， 作FYP。 又说不定， 可能会因此而考个second upper honours。 那我读masters和就业机会会大大的增加。。。

像当年。。。。

OH NO!!!

was just reading up on "non-impt" stuff. a big realisation came to me....

when i graduate, my student's pass will expire. then i'll move on to do my pre-registration.

but i cannot apply for Employment pass (foreign professionals) because my pay is not >$2,500

and i cannot apply for S pass (for mid-level skilled workers e.g. technicians) because my pay will not be >$1,800

which leaves me with work permit (pay not >$1,800, unskilled) and work permit (foreign domestic workers, the kind who cleans your house, cook for you, wash your toilet)

That means my pre-reg is no better than ...than...

Anybody wants to employ me to clean their house? *sob sob*

The first time a man looks at an advertisement, he does not see it.
The second time he does not notice it.
The third time he is conscious of its existence.
The fourth time he faintly remembers having seen it before.
The fifth time he reads it.
The sixth time he turns up his nose at it.
The seventh time he reads it through and says, "Oh brother."
The eighth time he says, "Here's that confounded thing again."
The ninth time he wonders if it amounts to anything.
The tenth time he thinks he will ask his neighbour if he has tried it.
The eleventh time he wonders how the advertiser makes it pay.
The twelfth time he thinks perhaps it may be worth something.
The thirteenth time he thinks it must be a good thing.
The fourteenth time he remembers he has wanted it for a long time.
The fifteenth time he is tantalized because he cannot afford to buy it.
The sixteenth time he thinks he will buy it some day.
The seventeenth time he makes a memorandum of it.
The eighteenth time he swears at his poverty.
The 19th time he counts his money carefully.
The twentieth time he sees it he buys it, or instructs his wife to do so.

You Think Gas is Expensive at $3 a Gallon?
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ....... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..... $9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..............$10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ........$10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ...........$33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ...........$178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 ..........$123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ..................$25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 ..................$84.48 per gallon
Evian water 9 oz for $1.49 .......$21.19 per gallon.
So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water, or worse, Nyquil!

This is my newest piece of photo art. it's named "one year later.." it'll be good if i can pursue my next project called "years later...."

green bag, green top! yeah!!!

Celebration with my marketing group + friends - boyfriends. hehehex

I want ICE CREAM....lychee martini....

and the horrible photographer just kept snapping......on silent mode!!!

can't take a decent mugshot....ahh....chooo!

me squinting under the sun. took this picture long ago. sigh, it's going to me my turn, so scary/exciting

Love this one, it says sell your children to buy the bag... not that i like the idea of selling children, no no no. it's the idea of the weighing scale and the markings on it. haha

more from the Grand Cathay

the week that killed me.

mugshot of me, the one i sent to Jansen-cilag. looks so old now...

Amidst working and mugging for exams, i decided to apply for the internship at Jansen-Cilag. the pharmaceutical arm of Johnson & Johnson.

And i GOT IN! for the interview. (chey....)but the interview is in the middle of exams. So everyone wish me luck, any "Do nots" and "Dos" to highlight?

felt the effects of taking 7 modules in a semester. it really feels like dying.

i tot giving myself one day to write each section of my urops report was sufficient. unfortunately, i was wrong. there's still so much to do after writing. most of the graphs and results which i tot i had already standarised, had to be changed. re-titled, font size changed, boldened, and re-pasted into the report. and i had 30 graphs (13 pages) in the appendix. each in different files. there are lots to learn from this. advice to all my classmates who are doing final year project:

1) establish a systematic way of name your results EARLY, foresee the required fields eg not only conc and parameter measured, need volume used, need temperature, batch of chemical used (stock solutions that you prepared).

2) tables and graphs, title properly, with the report in mind, consolidate them in a single file or folder. make sure the values are dynamic. otherwise when you decide to "not show" some results (you have 12 sets, you only want 3 but not in running order), then the graphs will update themselves.

3) finish report at least one week before the deadline so your prof can read and comment/edit. chances are, the report is totally not inline with report-writing-grammar, then you have to re-write. and you have to re-phrase to prevent copyright infringements.

4) record or write down everything the prof discussed with you, be it in full or in notes. you'll need the exact words. especially when you're in a rush and you can't remember what the prof said during your first meeting.

must thank God for giving such a nice supervisor. after i handed in my report on the deadline, she read it overnight, and gave a a 5-page word doc on how and where to improve my report on. of course i know that i'll be graded on my first submission. but she actually bothered. so i spend a few sleepless nights doing my urops, my game theory, my marketing report.

then i fell sick. was preparing for my urops oral presentation on wed, the in afternoon i had to present for DI lecture. i finished the ppt only at 12am wed. so didn't have the chance to print the ppt. then i went early to sci co-op to print it, the guy before me too 15 mins then printed until there was no more ink. so the printer was out of order. then i went to CBLC. but the queue for printers was long, the queue for release of print jobs was even longer. didn't get to eat breakfast either because the queue was so long. i was so stressed and frustrated that i almost wanted to break down and cry, i forgot to ask where the presentation venue was. despair!

thank goodness to the someone who accompanied me and took all my frustrated vents. i reached my prof's office just as she was leaving and dialling my hp number. was very nervous during the presentation, even the examiner had to tell me to calm down. so i paused and carried on. couldn't handle the quesitons they asked, because i didn't and couldn't do the MS part of my experiment. only grad students can undergo the training to use it. and class didn't really go into the practical concerns, Dr Bong, one of my examiners too, taught it and only said we had to understand the principle.

only only consolation was that the new prof was interested to take me when i'm doing my FYP, unfortunately, i am underqualified. haha. my CAP doesn't allow me to do FYP, and it's too late, i'm not a year 3 student.

they encouraged me to do grad studies? should i?

Was back to my wed class. found out that they're all working in a shipping company and the company offers great welfare/bonding activities, hence these sponsored salsa lessons.

my hour of peril came when I was informed that Justin was not around to teach them "intermediate" class. All the instructors around were highly against allowing them to merge with the normal intermediate class. SO....................... i decided to teach, some basic steps.

Found out that justin has been teaching them combing techniques. it was until later that it's VERY wise of him to do that. Thinking that the class did very well in basic class, i went on to teach CBLT, with the agenda of teaching variations using CBLT. But, 30 mins into the class i realised that no one could really grasp the step. and it's very pointless to teach variations for that. so i modified my "syllabus" to the first 8 only, that being a simple turn hammerlock.

considerably simple. but i didn't have the foresight to realise that to get out of that, i was going to do a back-break and double hand comb. if the class didn't get the CBLT, it was worse with the back break, simply because i haven't covered third hand hold with them. and because, they were all not concentrating anymore.

Later, i realised that everything went wrong the moment they shut off. the reason why they did so well in basic was because i still had their attention then. Finally, i pulled out my last card: end the agony. not only the students' but also mine. the students cannot understand how to do the steps, i cannot really explain the steps without taking a much longer time. looking back, i could have plunged into that. but the chances are, my class would be very confused and be further put off.

Later, justin's advice, in such situations is, to calm down, collect all their attention, and say, let's do it together...most importantly, read their minds. whether they are just tired, or they are still very willing to learn, but you are not teaching to them the way they want.

Wed's lesson taugt me that, being a good instructor also requires you to have psychic abilities. and then, be bothered enough to attend to their needs and wants. doesn't help if you understand them, but can't be bothered. imagine:

student: "man, i really can't catch this step"
Instructor: "oh really? you'll just have to practise more later, now i have to complete my class"

But of course, there are no such instructors.

Yesterday, while waiting for a briefing to start, i got stung by an insect. I don't know what insect it is because when it flew away i was more affected by the pain on my third finger than to pay attention to its fleeting escape.

within the next 1 hour, my finger swelled, then the palm, then the other 2 fingers beside it. then the joints started to swell, giving me knobby fingers. as i didn't have any anti-histamines with me, i went to the university health care. Note that my hand was numb and swollen to the point that i can't flex it.

guess how the wellness centre treated me.


The same, okay, take a number (before that i waited a long while cuz the nurse was attending to a clueless grad foreign student). took a number, somehow, the numbers didn't jump very fast to mine. it was the same as normal. i happen to be at the wellness centre on monday too because the haze was affecting my arm, nose and eyes. it took 30 mins eventhough i had 40 numbers between the currently served and my queue number.

yesterday, it took 30 mins too, though only 10 queue numbers were before me. Somebody was saying maybe i should say i cannot breathe or something...oh well.

my hand is still swollen, itchy and the joints are painful. am quite okay with the whole experience, at least next time when someone walks into my pharmacy with an insect sting, i can understand how they feel.

Since last week, wednesdays at Xenbar have been swarmed with a new/big group of corporate employees. must thank Christina (i hope i got it right) for advertising Xenbar to them. Now Wednesdays are back to the way they were. I sincerely hope that after they finish the package that they signed up for, they will stay on.

Was shocked when i saw the first few people walk into Xenbar. then Wee beng said there'll be alot more, and i'm supposed to teach them. the co-incidence was, i actually wanted to give up the class that day because of another event. At the last minute, i decided to teach the lesson, end on time and rush back. but boy was i wrong. the lesson that day ended at 8.30pm. Thanks to Kyo for allowing me to go overtime "a bit".

It's good and bad to have such a big, chattery group. They know each other, it makes the whole environment fun. of course, they were much less serious about the lesson than all my other students because this is their chance to wind down, let down their hair and enjoy.

After teaching for a little more than 6 months, i realise that "following the slowest" actually holds truth. but i don't think it should be a hard and fast guide. sometimes, you have to entertain and take care of the majority too. At times when there is a great disparity of salsa background in the class, i tend to get very stressed thinking how to entertain the majority, while i coach the slowest. I used to stick to the slowest, because basic class is for the beginners, and if i don't entertain the majority, at least one person in class benefited. Now, i think it is still a good approach. However, for this group, i went with the majority because they've attended only one previous class, so the beginners have less to catch up with.

Owing to the large group of beginners, i started on Simple turn at only 8.10. at which my lesson was supposed to be over. I think time had to be spent on explaining. Explaining to them why we are spending so much time on basics. All the time, i kept telling myself, these people are probably smarter than me, so never undermine their intelligence by going too slow. much time was also spent on calming the class. As with most groups, there is always a clown, the attention seeker. While i tried to push the class through my agenda, i had to bear special consideration not to spoil anybody's fun.

For some twisted, co-incidence, i couldn't find the mic that day, and i still couldn't find it this week. Am i lucky i only have to teach for one hour? there must be a better way to capture their attention. Is it because they don't respect me enough? Besides being the boss, what is it about Justin that makes them all quiten down and listen?

Last but not least, i have to thank Natalie and Ivy for helping me in the class. Without them, i'll have to go to Shaolin and learn the art of splitting myself into 2. And especially to Natalie, she saw the areas that i didn't cover, the info that the students needed, and helped me emphasize them. Am very gratefully to the both of them.

Am in a mad rush to finish 4 projects....reminds me of my year 2 life. accept that this is so much more impt now, because these projects are done, (at least to me) for the sake of honing my future career skills.

At the point when we're going to graduate in 6 months, i'm wondering whether i should be doing pre-registration. pre-registration means i can practise as a pharmacist. initially, i am very much deterred by the cold and strict environment of the hospital. i don't think i want to ever, work there. then i went to HPB, saw all the job opportunities there, was thinking, maybe i could see it in my future career options. but first, i need to gain some work experience. so i tot, maybe i could work with some pharma company so i don't have to do pre-reg and have work experience. then i tot, maybe IMH would be interesting.

then i attended this talk by GSK marketing manager. she reminded me of my earlier resolution to be in retail. and her final words were "do pre-reg". well. so i guess, i'll still be doing pre-reg, in retail, or if IMH wants me, i'll try. for 3 years maybe. If retail, maybe 4 years? Somehow, i don't see people in retail staying for a very long time. but we'll see how, maybe i can become area manager for guardian one day? I'm not a very clinical person, so retail is my thing. besides, i can sound altruistic and say, i want to do retail because i feel that improving the health of the public does not only lie in giving and ensuring correct medicine. with the successful marketing of supplements, more and more people need an objective advice regarding such issues. I believe that a person walking in to ask for information is more receptive to advice than a sick person. so i think the way to really impact lives is from retail. and more imptly, a person should also be entitled to professional advice even when they are healthy.

Found this clip on pharmacy in southpark...very funny, drug abuse..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LG4OUUKdKaE

Salsa vs Latin Ballroom
Disclaimer: this entry shall not consider standard ballroom dances as it is

1) too difficult to excel in,
2) too rigid,
3) takes too long to master,
4) has no established ballroom dancing teachers in singapore willing to impart all dance skills, and in writer's opinion
5) too stiffling for expression of self (no ballet background, marginally appreciates contemporary dance).

In the above disclaimer, i have already stated the main reasons why i prefer salsa.



It is interesting how a few people can actually document the exact same thoughts over the same time. After posting this entry, i realised that YQ posted an email about "salsa = play" in our yahoo groups. I totally agree with her.

I was at YIH copying rag videos from the NUSSU exco (if you want a copy, come to me) when i chanced upon an old photo of a couple i know, in a rumba pose. I thought to myself, yes, latin dance is interesting, especially samba and rumba, each for different reasons. maybe it's the environment, maybe it's the people, but somehow, i don't see the kind of "play" YQ mentioned. Maybe it's because these dances are learnt for performance and competition sake, so the emphasis is on the audience. On the contrary, i agree whole heartedly that salsa lets the wild and sexy side of you express itself.

In the past, when i was a beginner, i laughed at the adjectives used to describe salsa; wild, sexy. However, now when i know "the rules of the game", everything makes sense. The best part of Salsa is the fact that you can pick up anyone on the dance floor and have fun. it really doesn't matter if your partner is your gf/bf/spouse; of course you'll be in a better mood and position to flirt and be sexy if that's the case. I think in this aspect, Xenbar has done a very good job. Unlike a very popular salsa club that we know, the members of Xenbar come with a goal to dance salsa and this makes one comfortable dancing with everyone. It is inevitable, that if you draw a large crowd, you can't control the people who enter.

Coming back to Xenbar, it is really a precious environment to have. (i'm coming to understand it more and more.) The best times would be when all those studying aboard come back, and their other halves miraculously return, then we truly have a salsa party, switching from partner to partner. I miss those times...

Video Editing

I successfully edited the videos of my trifac bash performance.

BUT....

i used a trial version of the video editing programme, so, now i have "Video Edit Magic, Trial Version" sprawled all over the middle of my video. i was so sad that it turned out like that.

Yesterday, while i was drifting in and out of my drugged sleep, i saw Nigel editing them, then when i woke up, the videos were gone. why? simply because he got too frustrated editing it on iMovie, he deleted it. haha...

Refusing to be beaten, i went to download a programme to edit the videos. everything went well. First i added the subtitle thingy that justin has for all of his videos. easy enough, was difficult on iMovie because it didn't have such a function under video editing, the max duration for its subtitles is 10 secs.

the problem with this whole project was because the person who took the videos took it on a digi cam. and all the videos he could take was 1 min long. so I have to do the video transition thingy. Choosing which transition to use was no issue because i already had an idea what my finished product should look like. The difficult part was how to insert the transition at the correct moments, and allow buffer between your videos, and making sure it works...

after a while, i still couldn't make it work, somehow, the transitions go into a black screen before the next. then after slow realization, i figured that i have to overlap the videos. guess i really got my brains fried again after this flu (yes, cough plus fever plus running nose, virus).

needless to say, after i got over that barrier, i was good to go. thus the video:



but this barrier of "trial version" sprawled over the center, i cannot overcome, i tried finding a crack, but to no avail.

Thank goodness it's term break.

this week saw a lot of firsts in the semester. Other than finding a bazaar which is worth shopping through and buying my first Roxy t-shirt, on tuesday, i skipped the first lecture in this semester. i overslept after taking a nap at 1pm. so i ended up skipping the most boring module ever, Pharm Prac 4. then on the same day, i was so tired, i decided to take another nap at 6.30pm, before waltz class. Somehow, i just slept all the way to 5.30 am. just in time to say hello to my sisters who are preparing for school at home...haha. it's hard to believe that i once woke up at 4.30am everyday and still did not sleep on the bus, and have CCAs, and reach home at 8pm everyday. Come to think of it, that secondary student that i was, was incredible. Now, (yes, i've aged, alot) i "collapse" with a 2am to 7am routine. must make a point to sleep at 1am when term starts again... am so tired.....

testing

Wanted to go Union square last night, but halfway through the day, i was "paged" that there was going to be a rueda video filming at night. So Nigel and me decided to ditch Union, because afterall, we love rueda. Waiting for the day to end was torturous, plus the fact that friday is my longest and more tiring day (8-12 then 2-6 lectures all the way). since practice starts at 8, i decided to rest/nap first. otherwise I would really have no energy.

Arrived at Xenbar at 9 (oops, overslept) but i was surprised to see so many people there, waiting. I'm not sure what they were waiting for, but the numbers surprised me. People who didn't know rueda, people who only know basic rueda, people who love rueda, people who are craving to impart rueda. It was amazing how we managed to go through all the steps from basic to intermediate within 1 hour. i think i fall into the hybrid category of loving rueda and knowing basic rueda. we attended basic rueda, but never got to rueda 2, but somehow, we know some moves. thanks to the people who are craving to inpart rueda. haha.

i think special mention ought to go to Terrence, big terrence. Although he went for all rueda lessons, he didn't get to practise it often. So he was really quite nervous during the filming, and not doing the correct steps made him feel very stressed. thankfully, after Yanqing said something to the effect of: i know you all are tired, but just concentrate and do this well, then we can all go home. So we did. But of course we had to tweak our formation a bit.

First, we thought putting the people who could do the steps well in front, we can scrap pass. unfortunately, rueda is a group effort, so we had to find the best combination of guys and girls that will allow good execution of the rueda steps. For example, guys who know the steps well lead girls who are less sure. that alone wasn't enough. if you're a guy and you know your steps, it still depends on the lady to follow you. it so happened that in our nervousness, some of us forgot to follow, some of us forgot to lead as well. we even committed errors that we would never have done in a normal rueda circle. Cut to the chase, we had to pair the strong leaders with the weaker followers as well. In such a short notice, and such little practice, it was quite consoling that we didn't film till 1am. we ended at 12. After which, we went for the traditional supper at our traditional prata stall. And i guess all the people who were sent home by Wai Hwang would want to thank him for the special trip. =) another small event that makes Xenbar a home.

Haha, went to The Cathay today. it's empty and new....i like. even though lots of shop lots are empty, they boarded it up and had different "stuff" on each panel. this is one i love the most... i believe it says RETAIL THERAPY... haha. and the bottom of the picture "Buy something and call me in the morning". i LIKE this physician's prescription... LOLx

Today was a horrible day for me. first i forgot to meet my junior at 12, and worse, i forgot to burn the cd for her (that's whyi was meeting her). and i have no blank cds...
then came back, burn, guess what, she has to leave school for tuition....

then i tried to run and catch the A2 to go to Arts for lunch. the uncle refused to let me board...

later, i tot i got the venue of my 6-8pm talk wrong, went to look for it. checked it on my PDA. realised my PDA is dying..but i marked it on my calendar as lt 18 so i went there to wait. 10 mins to 6, i decided to buy dinner and take-away. the only thing which could be taken-away iat biz is western food hotdog... so i spent the last 5 dollar note in my wallet. went back to lt 18, realised that nobody is there yet. so sat down and eat...

6.10pm i check the time again... realised the talk was 6.30 instead. so i decided that i wasn't full yet, went to buy tau huey. but no more tau huey. so i settled for cravio ice cream. today i learnt that cravio ice cream sucks and too much mustard sauce sucks too.

wait till 6.30pm, went to lt 18, there were lots of people. but all having dark-coloured skin. then all of them listening to a librarian talk about NUS LINC....

PDA cannot log on to wireless, cannot check email. went to check the other possible LTs...nope, nobody. so i decided to go xenbar then.

saw 143, ran there... was too small/insignificant, the bus driver didn't see me, drove off....

horrible day....

Here's the model reply to whether USP students are elitist...given by our deputy director for student affairs.

"USP students are not elitists. i think of them as prima donnas: they are used to being in the spotlight, and do not like to follow the crowd. Perhaps that is why there is a misconception that they are elitist.

When conducting our admission interviews, we look out for people who are passionate and have a hunger for knowledge. their passion can be in diverse areas - artistic pursuits, sports, community service etc. we value creativity and critical thinking skills highly. therefore it is not surprising that our students are often confident and have a slight slant towards individualism. "

wonderfully said.

Entered and ended another year of Rag, for usp (even though it was pharmacy's first year in rag, i was away in australia too long to catch up). this year we had really nice pixie-like costumes!
and we were the first item, so the wait wasn't that long... and we didn't melt before we started dancing... although we did melt after the performance, while watching the rest of the faculty items. and we had body painting too! so cool. a very nice ending to my last year in NUS and last year in rag...haha

i just did a random personality test which said i rank Pride first, followed by family, then love, then career then money...

explains many things...

We'll be using this song as part of USP rag.... so cool...

MARY J. BLIGE LYRICS

Be Without You


I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
Oooo (oh, oh, oh, oh) oooo

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go
Neither one of us knew why
We didn't build nothing overnight
Cuz a love like this takes some time
People swore it off as a phase
Said we can't see that
Now from top to bottom
They see that we did that (yes)
It's so true that (yes)
We've been through it (yes)
We got real sh** (yes)
See baby we been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

I got a question for ya
See I already know the answer
But still I wanna ask you
Would you lie? (no)
Make me cry? (no)
Do somethin' behind my back and then try to cover it up?
Well, neither would I, baby
My love is only your love (yes)
I'll be faithful (yes)
I'm for real (yes)
And with us you'll always know the deal
We've been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

See this is real talk
I'm always stay (no matter what)
Good or bad (thick and thin)
Right or wrong (all day everyday)
Now if you're down on love or don't believe
This ain't for you (no, this ain't for you)
And if you got it deep in your heart
And deep down you know that it's true (come on, come on, come on)
Well, let me see you put your hands up (hands up)
Fellas tell your lady she's the one (fellas tell your lady she's the one, oh)
Put your hands up (hands up)
Ladies let him know he's got your love
Look him right in his eyes and tell him
We've been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

Heeeeeeeeeeeey Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Heeeeeeeeeeeey Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you

Cute guys abound!!

found a hot pink top for salsa competitions, but the price just didn't justify the purpose

was actually putting effort into beautifying myself, just in case i won some prize...

Girls day out at the fresh water lake at the botanical gardens

Wen, really sweet girl who keeps getting bullied for our entertainment

picture says it all

people who flew with me...

really tall guys!

went on a All terrain Vehicle expedition...

the winner of the patient counselling event, making my First runner up...haha. she's a national champion in Holland..

Hsiu yinn and Wenli, good buddies i made at the congress, malaysians but studying in Monash Australia...haha

[continue from prev prev post]

realised that going to australia for the first time also allowed me to do many many things for the first time. shall compile a list after i've recounted the rest of my aussie trip.

i think i went to this bar on both nights, P.J O'Briens. it was having some pole idol thingy where people go on stage spontaneously to pole dance after 2 professional pole dancers demo...sad to say even the professionals weren't that good, i think Nance/Natalie is better, hahax.

the next night we went there again to see the same horny old guys waiting to grind some young girls. but that night was featuring some world famous coyote girls and they were really quite good...their bodies are very very toned, not muscular.

entered myself into the patient counselling competition in IPSF. just for the sake of challenging myself. entered the intermediate category. the next day, was napping away at some secluded area of the congress venue when my friends smsed me, telling me to return to the LT because i was one of the three finalists....OMG! my mind was a total blank, i forgot how to go about counselling in like the first half an hour i woke up. thank goodness for Vidhu, this indian delegate who was slacking nearby too. she was recapping with me, later i found out that she was to win the first place for the standard category (people who have never done counselling before]. do you believe in lucky days and bad days? just the day before the finals, i lost my ipod shuffle in the computer room and actually walked into the sliding glass door of our balcony (it still hurts now...). the next day, the congress chairperson handed me my ipod shuffle, said it was lost and found, i go into the finals...

i actually got sick of drinking and clubbing. maybe it's the repetitive music (the clubs have only 10 songs which tey repeat every night). maybe it's the frequency at which we were clubbing away, maybe it's coz a special someone wasn't there to have fun with me.

got sick of the long long long queues for dinner everyday, sick of the same old horrible sandwiches they served us every lunch. when i got back, i was so happy to be eating noodles, prata and fried carrot cake...and no more dry scaly skin, it's back to sweat, sweat, sweat. i think my complexion got better there because i was slapping lots of moisturiser on my face. just yesterday, i spent $70 on a new bottle of vichy moisturiser and concealer...hope it's totally worth it.

Personality test: you are more Extroverted than Introverted, Intuitive than Sensing, Thinking than Feeling, and more Judging than Perceiving.

Your love type

About 3-5% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type.

Being an ENTJ means that you've got a bit of a rebellious streak in you. So rather than being the kind who follows, you'll usually choose to lead the pack. You also appear to love a challenge more than most others do. So if somebody wants something done, all they have to do is tell you that it's impossible. You're apt to show them then and there how you can make it happen. You're not one to be easily discouraged in any aspect of your life. So if someone catches your eye, you'll likely find a way to get to know them come hell or high water. You're not just a dreamer. You're a doer.

In relationships, you usually have a clear sense of where you want things to lead. You also know how to take charge of a situation to help things go your way. You can exude a personal strength and confidence that really wins people over. Your friendly, outgoing nature also makes most people quite happy to follow your lead. Perhaps they're empowered or inspired by your self-esteem and can-do thinking.

Possessing a generous spirit allows you to be happy for others' successes as well as your own. You also know how to play coach if someone is lagging behind. These traits can make you a very supportive partner. Because of your usual drive to succeed, you can put a lot of responsibility and pressure on yourself. Finding friends or a romantic partner who can help you stop and smell the roses will be an important part of maintaining some dimension and perspective in your life.

What makes you a good partner and friend?

You believe in honest communication
You know how to be sensitive to other people's feelings
You take commitments seriously
You're one who is ambitious and goal-oriented

So now that you know about your personality and the many special qualities that you possess, it's time to learn which other types you're most compatible with in life and love. You'll also find out why those types are more suited for you than the others. Ready to find out who you connect with best?

Your most compatible types
Because you're an Intuitive Thinker (NT), you can be both creative and intellectual. NTs like you are usually very in touch with your rational side. Consequently, you're apt to appreciate those who are logical and know how to put their analytical skills to work. As a result, your most compatible types are people who are Sensing Thinkers (ST). STs are great for you for a couple of reasons. For one, they're usually on par with you intellectually. They also can be good at keeping your big ideas reined in. STs are known for being sensible and for having their feet firmly on the ground. This worldly intelligence can be very attractive to you. There are four NT/ST matches for you: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ISTP.

I'm back from Cairns!! first thing i did was switch on my phone and sms, which is about what everyone else on the plane was doing...sms beeps were sounding thru out the plane..

then i did another thing for the first time: buy duty-free liquor, bought the new caramel flavour baileys and Hoegarden...wonder who will i share it with..hmmm.

last i blogged, i was talking about the reef trip...i snorkelled for the first time there too, water was ok, but the winds were so chilly, i was shivering the moment i lifted my face from the water. saw the reefs with my own eyes, like the soft reefs better, more colourful, saw some blue ones too. there was a giant turtle in the waters, but i didn't get to see it, by that time the sea water was getting into my eyes, mouth, and nose...my NOSE, it's the last straw, my nose is very sensitive, couldn't take it, so i gave up the waters.

[i'm so tired, cooked and haven't bathed since i unpacked, gotta wake up at 5am tmr, shall write more another day]

Been in Cairns for the 6th day... did many things.. second day did horse-riding and all terrain vehicle driving. besides having the horse throt off within one min that i mount it and having survived without falling, and getting stuck in the mud or pool of ice water, i'm okay...

3rd day was bungy jumping, despite the initial fear of climbing up the stairs all the way to the top, watching people jump off and causing the stand to sway, waiting for 3 hours just to realise i'm really really scared of heights and had cold feet (in both senses) and couldn't really jump off after the trainer finished counting down, being too light and ended up having half my head dipped in the water below, and having very very high rebounds... i'm still having fun.

4th day we went whitewater-rafting...the rapids weren't that dangerous or rapid...managed not to drop out.. we did a backward drop down one of the rapids too...then we threw ourselves into the water for a relaxing float...and we had to strip in public to change out of wet clothes and underwear. how nice!

yesterday i had the chance to coordinate a performance by myself, chreographing, teaching, training, slave-driving, reminding them to smile, arranging positions, making last minute decisions, being worried that you;re not doing enough to make the performance good...the lot..but something new to me. then i went to look at a local casino, wasn't all that interesting. just learnt that being a dealer is not that easy, we have to be skilled at counting chips and dealing cards out fast and nice...am quite impressed actually.

tmr is a trip to the great barrier reef, shall await in anticipation...

The Dust has settled

after last weekend (Salsa by the beach competition), everything is much more settled, though there are still things to tie up. for example, my flu (had fever on Sunday morning, woke up at 8am. then took panadol and tried to sweat it out and hopefully be "normal" by the finals) and my invisible injuries...still can't execute my spins and cross body lead turns nicely due to my protesting muscles. then work wise, i forgot i have to submit a summary table for one of the TTSH pharmacists, and i have 10 days to write the preceptorship report, on top of trying to conduct/complete my urops experiments before the 11th, for which i'm leaving Singapore for Australia. then of all things, i went to sign up as a student helper for the singapore pharmacy congress, which is making things more difficult for me. but hey, i tot it's good exposure, especially since i'm into my last year in uni.

was hard, difficult, juggling work, work politics, salsa, more politics, lessons, fatigue, sickness, allergy, infection, injury. but nobody will pity me, this is life, some people experience it earlier, others later. somehow i tend to focus on my health conditions eg. my ezcema, and anything that causes my nose to malfunction. it really affects me greatly...i don't know whether i should continue taking the steroids for my nose as its side effects including getting a moon-face, getting premature osteoporosis. . .hyperglycemia (when you have a family history of diabetes). but the steroids help me greatly, no more sniffing the whole morning/day...risks vs benefits, risks vs benefits....

so many things to do so many.... just a side track, found that USP has 2 new modules, one called game theory, which i was told is very interesting, and narative and play in interactive media... sounds like something i can take to improve myself in the area of performing arts....with 2500 points, i think i should be able to bid for both of them, in separate semesters of course.... i can't take the load of 7 modules in a sem.

oh, just realised i haven't started on the whole point of this blog... the competition. there's ALWAYS truth in what justin says. he says even if you're not prepared, you just come down here and do [the competition]. and this time, despite the many many excuses...we really just heck it, and gave our best (whatever i could squeeze out from my flu/fever). and i learnt a lot. less technical, more competition based. things like costume and make-up, always have a contingency, and full-dressed before making your way to the venue. then you also need practice moments, and rest time, and warm-up time, and quiet time...just haven't gotten the hang of the timing yet...need someone to guide..and of course, worst case scenarios. must be fully prepared to cover up (which we did) and make it look as though it was fully intentional (that one still need to work on).

and choreography wise...now i truly understand the importance of a good choreo, and more so the music...before, it was like... yah, music is needed to amplify the effect of the moves... but now: music determines the moves, and practice determines the rest.

meet many friends at the competition (as spectators) too... one of my st nicks juniors, pharmacy juniors, pharmcist seniors, mischy's crush...among like 300 people? small small small

New Discovery Times

It’s been proven that dogs are truly like humans. In one instance when the experimentor’s mum accidentally ran her car over its feet, it withdrew to a certain corner of the house, furthest away from the car. From then on, it has always keep a safe distance away from any moving vehicle. It used to ran to the gate and hop around until the car gradually inches forward, threatening to ran it over, whereby it slowly moves backward. Other instance proved that dogs are actually more receptive of courtesy, as compared to random shouting. Usually, in order to prevent the dogs from licking their legs, the experimentor’s family members will shout at the dogs but to no avail. Yesterday, in order to move the dogs away from the gate as she was going out, the experimentor said, “Excuse me” and they easily moved aside. The last comfirmative incident happened when the experimentor’s sister attempted to feed the dogs curry with rice. To which, the dogs gave a bite, licked its mouth a few times, then withdraw to the side, and continue licking its mouth, in a manner which one might interpret as, “the food is very spicy”.
Thus the experimentor is proud to say that, her dogs are a source of entertainment to her and her family. (more a nuisance though)

-Author has 2 dogs, which are indistinguishable to her. Whether only one of her dogs are responding in such a humanly way and the other is just another dog, cannot be determined as yet.

New Discovery Times:

Did you know, that you can easily remove the seed of the lychee fruit without much hassle to enjoy a mouthful of lychee juice and flesh? When you peel off the lychee’s skin, observe the folding of the lychee flesh at the bottom (point furthest away from the stem). Gently peel open that fold to reveal the lychee seed. From there, tear the flesh away from the skin in a gentle fashion to prevent wasting all the fresh lychee juice. Once you get a good hold of the seed, pull it out in one fast action and Tada! You have a seedless lychee, very much the same as those sold in cans and fruit stalls except that yours is fresh, and not soaked in saccharine. =)

-Written on a nice Sunday morning when the author’s Mum bought $4 worth of BIG, JUICY lychees, discovered by the author’s youngest sis

today is a bad day, i got up late...my handphone battery is flat, and i didn't get enough sleep.. so i'm in a bad mood. now, i cannot sleep, have to practise further for a humiliating performance...i want to try to do better, but...

i want to cry..... are looks everything? just because she is stick thin, and has rebonded hair, she must stand in the center? i'm afraid my dance moves are not even enough to put my on par with her...i think i should just retire from some stupid fantasy of being a dancer and be the auntie that dispenses drug...

i mean, what's the point, i trained and pushed myself so hard in december for the competition just to attain a level 2 salsa cert, i thought it was very impressive, considering i only bargained for a lvel 1.... then here comes people who i don't even think can pass my basic class standard...getting a level 2 cert too??? i must go back today and throw away my certs

Complacency

after surviving 5 tests by doing one hour one chapter, my complacency has gotten the better of me...today's test saw me getting the lowest score ever for pharmacotherapy.... think average of 18/20...and i scored 2 standarad deviations away...and it's not 22/20.

then it also affected my presentation for my ISM as well. i remember not rehearsing my presentations and still be able to do a good job... sighs.....then class even got restless and started talking very loudly halfway thru....

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

New stage in life

erm, everyone, i have something to announce: i have a new boyfriend.

might come as a shock to some, coz Jeremy and me have been together for so long. but this might not be news at all to some, i've been blogging about my new boyfriend, Nigel, for a very long time...4 months??

took me quite a while to make such a clear-cut decision, lots of heart-break moments between me and my new bf, because i told him time and again that i cannot accept his love. tried gentle ways, tried cruel means, all to make him give up. but when he did give up, it was my turn to be heart-broken.

finally i decided to take a leap of faith, faith that following my heart will give me happiness.

so far, i've been riding on my new found happiness, and i'm still on the crest of it.

no doubt there are memories...good ones, bad ones, i remember them all. everything i see can remind me of Jeremy. i almost made the mistake of treating the happiness in my memories as an indication that i still love him.

then i had a good talk with Nigel, remembered why i had up my mind to make a break away from such a stable relationship, and realised how much hurt i have caused the person i love. how stupid of me to hurt the person i love because i'm not sure. how worried he must be, that anytime I can change my mind and let myself to wavered and persuaded to leave him again. yes again. after so many many difficulties, we finally got together, and it might be lost again. this lack of certainty is so scary in itself, i cannot believe what possessed him to endure it.

and yet he did. and even did the hardest task of trusting me, and sending me back to my hostel, when he knows how near Jeremy can be and how far away he'll be if anything happens.

the difference in this all, is that i do love him. besides being utterly touched, i feel very happy that i can be the woman that he showers his love upon. that i am the object of affections.

the past 12 days have passed tremendously fast, anything to make me happy, he'll do. anything to make me more confident of myself. for the first time in my life, i cycled to ECP in the evening, cycled to the end of the cycling tracks, listened to the crashing of waves on the sand while talking about anything and everything.

Thank you for this new phase in life, i trust you when you say you'll never let me down. i just hope that i receive more support in my decision.

YEAH! went to get my postponed dose of Xiao Long Bao today... and bbq chicken wings, and fried wanton, and dessert!!!! : sweetened rice wine with flour balls...*drools*

then walked around.... and actually got to buying something that's on my wish list for a long long time, basically 1 year... since i had my attachmentat guar dian, i've found that La Roche Posay is a very very good brand of skincare products.... you got to try to believe...

yah.... now i have the moisturising toner from the whitening series as part of my skincare regime..... *feels so privileged*....

i think dinner at holland V is a very good break away from PK horrible surprise test and biotech nonsense., when i came back i felt so energised, despite my accumulated lack of sleep. so i just worked and worked on my essay, and actually completed the parts that i couldn't finish at 4 am yesterday.

okay, shall sleep early today..

I'm SO going to die, i mean it when i say i have no priorities. like i have a test on mon and an essay due on mon too, then i go and play captains ball on sat morning and go for birthday party on sat night, then cannot stay up late to stdy, so have to sleep.

when my parents called me and found out that i'm at xenbar, dancing, instead of studying for the tests that i prmised i would be studying for coz i'm not going home, they sounded disapointed. first cannot see me, then realise that dance is more impt than going home to my family. sigh, why am i like that?

am quite sad that i forgot to check a minor detail in my new phone; it has no bluetooth or infrared. shit, now i cannot go shutter-crazy, and i can't easily upload my pics, and photoblog..... so, no pictures...especially og my white mascara and my fake eyelashes...was really lucky to be able to put them on within 5 minutes or less. but no pics... :(

Joke to share:

>>Paying by kisses...
>>
>>Dear Sweetheart,
>>
>>I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are
my

>>sweetheart
>>
>>Your husband
>>Allen
>>
>>
>>His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
>>
>>Dearest sweetheart,
>>Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
>>
>>1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
>>2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
>>3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
>>instead of the rent. 4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so
I
>>have given him some other items........... 5. Other expenses 40 kisses
>>
>>Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
>>hope I can complete the month using this balance.
>>
>>Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise !!!
>>
>>Your Sweet Heart

today was the first time i spent more than $10 on my hair. only allowed to cut it...

can't imagine i only tot of buying ONE dragon fruit..... it was so Big... and Round,.... and now i know it's also so Red...

Wahahahaha, this cheesecake has mashmallow pieces in it, topped with maple syrup-nuts-flavoured ice cream and hershey's choc syrup.... *licks lips* YUm....guess who had it for breakfast?

this was my injured feet one week ago... 3 red dots, one can't be seen, on the second toe....i just have this self-pity thing going....

Watched "Rumour has it..." yesterday. i know, i haven't watched a movie since a while, and neither have jeremy and me really gone out on a "date" for a while. but you can't blame a busy pharmacist student taking 6 modules this semester, including a UROPS project, who has/wants to go for salsa 3 days a week.

as most viewers will do when watching a movie and most readers will do while reading a novel, i find myself in the same shoes as the protagonist...

the thing about everybody wanting a life that's spectacular and fulfilling, i want that too... but as the grandma said, "step in line". it's because of this goal/aim that i make many decisions in my life, be it subconscious or not. like how i decided at sec 4 that i want to be a pharmacist...and i haven't regretted pursuing this education path. i thought, i like dabbling in medicine, so why not choose a profession which you enjoy doing...(i know i know, that's the ideal job everyone wants) so, i took up bio in jc...

then i got thrown to a jc of my second choice. frankly speaking, whichever choice which wasn't my first choice, i wouldn't be happy to go. first reason is the architechture...i love st nicks too much, even the building. so, hc was the nearest it got to a decent school building among all the jcs. second was the family feeling... also from st nicks. and third, well it was a silly reason. come to think of it, there's also a 4th reason: prestige. oh well. so i had to think of some other way to make my life spectaculatar and fulfilling. so guess what, i made it my "hobby" to have flings. it's probably the first most definite step i took towards eternal damnation.

but now, i'm getting the feeling that being a pharmacist is not that special... it's like a n+1... although i like the feeling of being on the shop floor, being there to offer good advice to the public... truth is, i'll just be one of those aunties standing behind a counter, or one of those money-grubbing guardian employees...whatever it is, it's a n+1 situation. being a research pharmacist or working in a pharma company doesn't make the cut either. i think the closest i'll get to being "useful" or making a contribution is teaching...i know i probably can't make it as a lecturer, i'm not even getting a 2nd upper for my honours.

hence the sadness.

then comes along salsa. something which i feel i'm not n+1 of. something which makes me feel that my existence/presence makes a difference... i hope its not that slight a difference. so, no matter how stressful or packed my schedule is...i'll still trudge on...i still remember what my pri 6 form teacher told my mom. (he's someone many/all his students and their parents respect alot) he said: "don't worry about stressing the children, children can take stress very well" and also without stress, little improvement is achieved. so, why take the easy way out...i can't quit without a fight. that being said, i'm not longer a kid, my stress tolerance level is exponentially decreasing...(signs include moodiness and headaches which i never dreamt of having)

Boooo to growing up.

NO ME AMES by J.Lo and Marc Anthony

Tell me, why are you crying?
Because I'm happy
And why are you so choked up?
From loneliness
And why are you squeezing my hand
So tightly
And your thoughts seem to be wandering?
I love you so much
Why?
Don't be so hard-headed
Stop doubting me
Although in the future there's a large sky
I'm not afraid
I want to love you
Don't love me because you think I'm different
You don't think it's right
For us to spend this time together
Don't love me because I know what a lie it would be
If you don't think I deserve your love
Don't love me
I'm going to stay another day
Don't love me because I'm lost
Because I change the world
Because it's my destiny
Because I can't change
We are a mirror
And you are my reflectionDon't love me
To be dying in a war of regret and sad thoughts
Don't love me
Because in this world
This great love deserves to soar through the blue sky
I don't know what to say
That's the truth
If people want to want to hurt us, they will
If you and I part now
They don't matter
But in this world
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't listen when I say I don't love you
Don't love me
Stop breaking my heart with these "I don't love you's"
Don't love me
Because my heart is breaking
That is useless
I will always love you
Don't love me
You have suffered enough
My heart has turned cold like a million winters
Don't love me
To forget about your gray days
I want you to always love me
You and I are changing
One with the other
And always together
This love is like the sun
That comes out after a storm
Like two comets in the same galaxy
Don't love me
Don't love me
Don't love me
(Don't love me, don't love me, don't love me)

took 90mins to get back from xenbar today. partly because my legs couldn't move anymore, i sat beside the expressway for a while. thinking to myself, for the first time, the beauty of the expressway. one moment all is silent, the next, some piece of moving metal will zoom pass. imagine placing yourself slightly too far out from the kerb. in a while, one of the zooming pieces of metal will meet you. then, hopefully, your heart is weak enough to stop functioning due to the trauma.

it has to be your heart that stops working, it can't be only your brain, or some limbs.... a person is dead when the heart stops beating. but the same person is a vegetable if the brain stops working.

realised that i can't do a single thing well. i can't dance (fall down just by moving to my right), can't be a pharmacist (sucky grades), can't teach as well (i had to get someone else to teach for me), can't do stretching (stretch a bit more, my muscle is strained, plus my palms start bleeding and trembling).... FAILURE...

the only thing i probably can do is not eat. didn't/forgot to eat just now, and the only thing i ate today is a sandwich for brunch, and 2 cookies...and i have no appetite. not hungry.... is this an eating disorder?

why am i so accident prone?

i just jammed my hip bone into the stair railing...okay, that probably was a fault of mine, but one would have thought my hip was WAY below the height of something like the stair railing...

came back yesterday and found a new scratch on my ankle, still bleeding. and i looked a bit further down my feet, i saw the remains of another scratch on my big toe. (this one is more problematic cause it hurts and itches at the same time, and i use my big toe to slide into my splits) then since we're on the path of wound self-discovery, i decided to take a look at the rest of my leg. wala! blueblacks on my knees and ankles, scars for previous scratches, it's amazing how many times i can get stepped on/knocked/elbowed on the same day, not to mention same week.

is there something wrong with me? wonder if the wounds are inflicted on me by accident or otherwise.

Term break is ending...!!! Have i made good use of it?

for one, i haven't made use of the lack of morning lessons to wake up late. i keep waking up a 8 am.. thanks to the daily practical classes. then by the time i come back from xenbar, i'm all tired. so i want to sleep immediately. i feel quite bad about it, i dun have the energy to spend time with Jeremy. then usually i'll tired to stay awake for a while, but as time goes by, the need to sleep overcomes me, and i become a grumpy old woman, demanding sleep.

on the bright side, i've been having dreams of the march competition. it's not the nightmarish kind yet. i welcome it, coz it gives me ideas of what moves to include... last night i dreamt of cartwheels. i think i gotta write everything down soon, least i forget.

settled my international passport too, then i have to settle my ipsf registration, my pda is going to be replaced too, and i've actually started studying for my friday test!

okay, if things are going well, i think i'll start studying for biotech test too, then finishing vetting all the 5 practical reports that have piled up so far, then start writing my urops report. at least these take my mind of my aching leg muscles which are threatening to go on strike from the many splits it's forced to do.

don't have the time to think of other things...so busy...

i'm tired, and hurt, and stressed.

for the whole night, i was so stressed doing my work. then i want to go and sleep i mentioned that i haven't started on my urops report, then he raised his voice and told me to "fuck dance" and do my work.....*feels like a part of me got winced away*

it doesn't help that term break is coming, there's so much to revise and so many reports to do. and my own sense of perfection just has to sneak in and tell me that i've missed teaching half the syllabus for intermediate 1.... the one which i just finished teaching.... now i realised what alot i have missed out in teaching... i'm a bad teacher. that's only inter 1....

stressed to succeed in every area of my life. so many competitors.... how to beat them?

with so much homework piled up, i just didn't have the mood to go back to my room to do it... ironic right? so i decided to accompany dear Wingyee to her latin and ballroom dancing practice...

after dropping it for so long, i didn't have the confidence to do a single step of any dance at all. i just couldn't do weight change....but, the consoling factor was that nobody could do a proper samba step....*evil snigger*

and all i did there was criticise and criticise, the only compliment i paid, was to this friend whom i tot could dance better than the present president. apparently the president is supposed to be basking for SnB tmr at the central forum, killing the grace and beauty of latin dancing, not to mention having his hunched-back vice-president as his dance partner.

learning salsa has trained me to spot all these flaws... is that bad? but the rumba steps were good.... yes, they were good. if i had a partner to dance with, i wouldn't have stopped dancing latin. if i didn't stop, i wouldn't have started salsa.... wonder whether it's a blessing or not... i really wish i could do rumba with someone i have chemistry with... the couple who was supposed to bask for rumba was okay.... the girl is good, but the guy wasn't macho enough, wasn't looking like he was flirting with his partner, even though rumour has it that they are not together YET. it just wasn't sexy enough... i remembered watching a private lesson for rumba.... man, rumba's great!

I'm a horrible girl, everybody should hate me.

i know it's rash to start buying cosmetics after some make-up class.... but, well, i couldn't miss the chance to get my mom to sponsor it... so off i went to buy a new palette of eye shadow....

first counter i saw was shiseido...so, thinking how highly bianca tot of the brand because her aunt works for it, i decided to go look at it....GUEss what, a palette of 4 colours costs $114...... so i didn't even look at the other counters. maybeline was out coz the one that my mom bought for me as christmas present only gave off silver for all 3 colours (blue, pink, purple). just as i was giving up, i saw my dad register for elections... and i'm supposed to register too.... coz, by the magic of time, i'm already 21!! Lo and behold, i saw it..... WATSONS.... just a few(not that few) steps away... so i followed my toes.... and entered...

i found blue, red, green and purple hues.... was trying all the colours on my hand until it looked like the rainbow..the green was very nice.... but i guess since my mom's paying i'd better go with a decent colour, so i bought purple, the next nicest...

yah, so now i have a nice purple skirt, and a nice purple top, and nice purple eye shadow.

It's going to be an interesting Vday. at 2.30 am today, i received a call on my handphone by some guy i met at xenbar. i dun want to guess why he called.

current state: still very busy with dance and school, salsa 3 times a week, and practicals 4 times a week, plus one day of independent study...oh, haven't factored in the time i need to do my practical report or the time i need to study for my weekly CAs......how how? another competition is coming up. i'm not worried about the competition, i'm worried about the preparation.

The Hardest Thing by 98 degrees

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me
It's killing you
But both of us trying to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusted me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you i don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending i don't love you

I know we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Doctor Zhivago
All my love i'll be sending
And you'll never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you i don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending i don't love you

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There's no turning back
She's been good to be
And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you i don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending i don't love you

My mom, and her brand new Singapore car.... she looks so happy...

1 or 2 kilos of butter prawns cooked on CNY eve...

the glutton of a brother...

that's my sister, Serene

my other sister---- Sharon

Isn't it good to be round and happy?

erm, christmas?

Salsa Withdrawal symptoms

i'm experiencing salsa withdrawal symptoms, i've been dreaming everyday of this same dimly lit place, where girls wear 3 and a half inch heels and do cool sorts of sexy moves, while there is a shortage of able-to-dance guys....

i want to go back to my hostel room. why? then i can complete all my practicals, do more research for my ride-on module, then i can catch up on my lectures and be ready for the next lap of school. yah, and also do more results processing for my urops... so that my urops report won't kill me later on in the semester.

all these, coupled with spending time with my friends, going out, and with jeremy. and at the same time, get rid of my eye bags... is that not possible? i don't like rotting at home, i prefer to do work all the time, consistently.

but my mom won't allow me to go back, coz its late already. and i'm scared of the night, in a foreign country.

eating mango frozen yoghurt now....

CNY in malaysia is good. coz then your whole neighbour will be setting off wonderful fireworks on the stroke of 12!.... red green, purple, blue.... wah... one house finish already, then another house start. so i just sit in the garden, on our stainless steel swing and watch. and there was a pleasant breeze as well!

had a wonderful home-cooked reunion dinner... mostly cooked by me.... so proud of myself. there was 2 kg of prawns, so we butter fried it in flour. took me so long to finish frying it....that we had to scrap cooking abalone and mixed veg, so that we can start eating at 8pm. there was also sweet sour chicken and herbal chicken... haha, for the person who cannot eat seafood.... and rendang and briyani.... weird mix.

was a good dinner i guess, my bro was making his own brand of prawn burger, with rice and carrot and prawn...our dogs had a good dinner too. haha

after that went to cousins' house to paly mahjong, i diao zhuang for so long, i think the rest of them got fed up, so i relinquished my winning seat to someone else, before all of them gang up against me. then we kooped cards from my cousins, brought it home and played bridge. in my sister's world, none of her friends know who to play bridge, only her dear siblings.... coz yours truly took the painstaking effort of educating them. wonder if its a good thing or not, coz my sister has learnt the game too early in life, and is excelling at it....everytime we pair up, we win, then we get to eat Merci chocolate. that was the reward for winning.... haha.

My favourite things
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Today is the eve of CNY eve. Jeremy has been taken away by his dad. to see his malaysian relatives. and his hp has no batt.

now i'm lonely. nobody to make supper for me. or massage me and my tired feet, or play dota with me.

lonely. saw my freshies taking a jog in the night. must admit it's a very pleasant and windy day, good day to run. but somehow, jeremy and me no longer take such night jogs because i'm just too tired after salsa. and if i dun go to xenbar, i'll want to rest or catch up on school work.

it's true, i have no time for him anymore. but if i dun push myself now, i'll never. so, i'm very sorry to do this to him.

The night is so cold

Time to update more...

Time, one of the 2 lacks in one's life. first i blogged about money, now i complain about time. i hardly have time all week to slack and blog, and think about what constructive things i can use the internet with. all week i've either been doing/processing practical results or going for salsa. school's hectic. don't know what will it be like when the tests start rolling in. sigh.

the week started bad, with me having serious gastric problems, as a result i missed prac on monday. so i had to make-up for it on wed afternoon. so i've been having prac everyday, including urops. for the urops part i'm glad that i've got good results so far. just got to repeat it 2 more times, to confirm it. and thanks to spending hours on the UV machine in urops, the results for my pharm analysis prac has a correlation of 0.9985!!! that's super good... yeah!

then i taught my first salsa basic lesson on thursday, was a nervous rack! but i got a lift from cherie's brian and took mrt down. to my disappointment, there was no food for me. but luckily tori bought macs, my favourite too: mcWings. so grudgingly, i ate some of her dinner. must rem all her encouragement too, she also taught me her signature shine moves, which i only tried once. she's also half an idol to me, like yanqing....

but anyway, everybody helped me. edmund kept time and told me when to start the class, james was giving his usual dose of advice, but i'm not sure whether i want to thank him coz he was the one who reminded justin that we, new instructors, are supposed to start teaching soon. and jianyang, who usually takes the class on thursdays... he gladly demo-ed all the guy steps and took the new student aside for private classes. but other than that, i was being myself; that is, trying to act proand confident and composed etc...

ultimately, i forgot to teach some things. but oh well, "comes with experience". hahaha

some random thingy i found in my inbox...:

>*Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. *
>
>* Who calls you back when you hang up on him. *
>
>* Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. *
>
>* Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. *
>
>* Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your
>sweats. *
>
>* Who holds your hand in front of his friends. *
>
>* Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he
>cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. *
>
>* Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's
>her." *


HOW often do we come across guys who fulfill these points

In the Science CBLC now. they say i have to wait for 20 mins for my stuff, which i think is 100 pages there abouts... there's my practical for PK, notes for pharm analysis, and all the PK tutorials, and most importantly, my experiment procedure for my UROPs. i've spent half of my free day already. but it's not unproductive... i woke at 11am... haha, still morning... typed out a good format and set of instructions, for myself, for my urops. then went to eat good food at NUH. yeah, even Jeremy says it's good. but i think there was too little food. hope he doesn't get hungry that soon.

it's 2 pm now.... still waiting for my documents to print...in the mean time i shall update on the biggest thing that has happened to me all week (so far). i signed a 3 year contract!

to work part-time at xen, to learn salsa at professional level, to teach basic class, to be a waitress there (haha). for 3 years
big decision, can't help but think that i'm a bit commitment-phobic. and i think, that commitment phobics are wiser than we give them credit for. you don't rush into things... hope i dun get cheated, hope i'll never regret the day i signed it.. it was monday 090106 by the way.

other than that, tried frog porridge yesterday. the frog is a bit to muscular and lean for my liking... haha and bought a bit of new year goodies: pineapple cheese biscuits, prawn rolls, cashew nut cookies, preseved wintermelon and coconut, taiwan muah chee... =) =) so happy..... good food rolling in......

let me go check on my printing..

i've been very lucky these few days coz i've been having good food. yesterday went to bukit timah market to eat.... very nice, everything. we had bbq spare ribs... omelette, and very special peppermint sugar cane juice. it's quite nice, the taste is very complementary. then had a generous serving or well-made thai ruby dessert... yumm....did i mention that i had french toast for breakfast, with maple syrup? maybe i forgot... haha

then today, we had pancakes.... i liked the crispy parts of it.... again with maple syrup... =) fiona must will fly to pgp if she knew...

Life is unfair.

My mom controls me.

She controls my money. so i can't do anything without her approval. like when i asked her for money today, i've been surviving one whole week with $19 in my bank account, she said she just put money in my account on the 12th.... i wonder if it's 12th nov or dec. then she asked when my scholarship money is coming in.

i'm always thinking, the scholarship money is like extra money for me, a reward or something, given to me by merit. then she thinks its pocket money, so she doesn't have to give me any at all. so i have to squeeze my bank account dry before she gives me pocket money.

i'm ok with that, i understand that the whole family lives off her pay. but apparently, she feels that she's having too much money in her account now. she's bought a new singapore car. when i was fretting the whole time about my pocket money!!! gosh. and everytime i find out how much money they spend on food at home, my heart aches..... to think i even contemplated eating cup noodles sometimes, just to save money.

then i realised another thing: when my bro goes to Uni, and he probably won't get a scholarship. and my mom says she will pay for the tuition fees by cash. if you pay by cpf, he'll have to pay back when he works. but cash.... sigh. my siblings like to compare themselves to me. if i go out on christmas eve, it means, ALL of them have FULL right to do so too. no matter WHAT their age. i'm 21, she's 13? so, if i give my mom $300 every month, he'll do so too. then, where's the "debt" repayment. pocket money? he eats so much, like twice the cost of mine. y can't i use the remaining money to shop? no, i can't use my mom's hard-earned money for shopping. no i can't dye my hair, waste money and damage my hair. no i can't go for salsa. no i can't take part in a CCA which requires me to train or return later than 7pm. no i can't stay in singapore to go out with my friends and boyfriend. no i can't work to earn more pocket money. no i can't give tuition either.

Horoscope for the week?
Libra
you'll be spoilt for choice, but this is not the time for indecision. if you really want to make the most of current opportunities in your work, aim for the top. Even if you fall short, you'll still achieve more than seemed possible. You may, though, be turing the clock back

Sagittarius
recent influences have tended to make you feel trapped between a rock and a hard place, with new responsibilities facing you whicheverway you turn. it's important to realise that any good fortune is of your own making, partly the result of an ambition to help other people.

For the guys who actually read my blog:
It's beginning to look alot like NS
(sung to the tune of "it's beginning to look alot like christmas")

It's beginning to look alot like NS
very soon you'll go
say goodbye to your ol' girlfriend
you won't see her again
when up that green three tonner truck you go
it's beginning to look alot like NS
take it like a man
and don't be over-wrought
for here you'll learn alot
like swearing in Hokkien

a pair of weatherproof boots
and a rifle that shoots
will become your new best pals
and after you're done
when you make friends for fun
you can't talk anything else
and all your wives can't understand
and find you sian as hell

it's beginning to look alot like NS
no use asking why
well-brought up young boys
suddenly like making noise
and yelling [well-known seven syllable
Hokkien expletive deleted]
its beginning to look alot like NS
it will help you grow
so no use being stressed
there's no escape unless
you play great piano

Someone told me today:

You seek questions, and once you find it i think you have found your answer because the questions lead you in a circle

i guess its sort of sums up everything...