The Dust has settled
after last weekend (Salsa by the beach competition), everything is much more settled, though there are still things to tie up. for example, my flu (had fever on Sunday morning, woke up at 8am. then took panadol and tried to sweat it out and hopefully be "normal" by the finals) and my invisible injuries...still can't execute my spins and cross body lead turns nicely due to my protesting muscles. then work wise, i forgot i have to submit a summary table for one of the TTSH pharmacists, and i have 10 days to write the preceptorship report, on top of trying to conduct/complete my urops experiments before the 11th, for which i'm leaving Singapore for Australia. then of all things, i went to sign up as a student helper for the singapore pharmacy congress, which is making things more difficult for me. but hey, i tot it's good exposure, especially since i'm into my last year in uni.
was hard, difficult, juggling work, work politics, salsa, more politics, lessons, fatigue, sickness, allergy, infection, injury. but nobody will pity me, this is life, some people experience it earlier, others later. somehow i tend to focus on my health conditions eg. my ezcema, and anything that causes my nose to malfunction. it really affects me greatly...i don't know whether i should continue taking the steroids for my nose as its side effects including getting a moon-face, getting premature osteoporosis. . .hyperglycemia (when you have a family history of diabetes). but the steroids help me greatly, no more sniffing the whole morning/day...risks vs benefits, risks vs benefits....
so many things to do so many.... just a side track, found that USP has 2 new modules, one called game theory, which i was told is very interesting, and narative and play in interactive media... sounds like something i can take to improve myself in the area of performing arts....with 2500 points, i think i should be able to bid for both of them, in separate semesters of course.... i can't take the load of 7 modules in a sem.
oh, just realised i haven't started on the whole point of this blog... the competition. there's ALWAYS truth in what justin says. he says even if you're not prepared, you just come down here and do [the competition]. and this time, despite the many many excuses...we really just heck it, and gave our best (whatever i could squeeze out from my flu/fever). and i learnt a lot. less technical, more competition based. things like costume and make-up, always have a contingency, and full-dressed before making your way to the venue. then you also need practice moments, and rest time, and warm-up time, and quiet time...just haven't gotten the hang of the timing yet...need someone to guide..and of course, worst case scenarios. must be fully prepared to cover up (which we did) and make it look as though it was fully intentional (that one still need to work on).
and choreography wise...now i truly understand the importance of a good choreo, and more so the music...before, it was like... yah, music is needed to amplify the effect of the moves... but now: music determines the moves, and practice determines the rest.
meet many friends at the competition (as spectators) too... one of my st nicks juniors, pharmacy juniors, pharmcist seniors, mischy's crush...among like 300 people? small small small
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
New Discovery Times
It’s been proven that dogs are truly like humans. In one instance when the experimentor’s mum accidentally ran her car over its feet, it withdrew to a certain corner of the house, furthest away from the car. From then on, it has always keep a safe distance away from any moving vehicle. It used to ran to the gate and hop around until the car gradually inches forward, threatening to ran it over, whereby it slowly moves backward. Other instance proved that dogs are actually more receptive of courtesy, as compared to random shouting. Usually, in order to prevent the dogs from licking their legs, the experimentor’s family members will shout at the dogs but to no avail. Yesterday, in order to move the dogs away from the gate as she was going out, the experimentor said, “Excuse me” and they easily moved aside. The last comfirmative incident happened when the experimentor’s sister attempted to feed the dogs curry with rice. To which, the dogs gave a bite, licked its mouth a few times, then withdraw to the side, and continue licking its mouth, in a manner which one might interpret as, “the food is very spicy”.
Thus the experimentor is proud to say that, her dogs are a source of entertainment to her and her family. (more a nuisance though)
-Author has 2 dogs, which are indistinguishable to her. Whether only one of her dogs are responding in such a humanly way and the other is just another dog, cannot be determined as yet.
It’s been proven that dogs are truly like humans. In one instance when the experimentor’s mum accidentally ran her car over its feet, it withdrew to a certain corner of the house, furthest away from the car. From then on, it has always keep a safe distance away from any moving vehicle. It used to ran to the gate and hop around until the car gradually inches forward, threatening to ran it over, whereby it slowly moves backward. Other instance proved that dogs are actually more receptive of courtesy, as compared to random shouting. Usually, in order to prevent the dogs from licking their legs, the experimentor’s family members will shout at the dogs but to no avail. Yesterday, in order to move the dogs away from the gate as she was going out, the experimentor said, “Excuse me” and they easily moved aside. The last comfirmative incident happened when the experimentor’s sister attempted to feed the dogs curry with rice. To which, the dogs gave a bite, licked its mouth a few times, then withdraw to the side, and continue licking its mouth, in a manner which one might interpret as, “the food is very spicy”.
Thus the experimentor is proud to say that, her dogs are a source of entertainment to her and her family. (more a nuisance though)
-Author has 2 dogs, which are indistinguishable to her. Whether only one of her dogs are responding in such a humanly way and the other is just another dog, cannot be determined as yet.
New Discovery Times:
Did you know, that you can easily remove the seed of the lychee fruit without much hassle to enjoy a mouthful of lychee juice and flesh? When you peel off the lychee’s skin, observe the folding of the lychee flesh at the bottom (point furthest away from the stem). Gently peel open that fold to reveal the lychee seed. From there, tear the flesh away from the skin in a gentle fashion to prevent wasting all the fresh lychee juice. Once you get a good hold of the seed, pull it out in one fast action and Tada! You have a seedless lychee, very much the same as those sold in cans and fruit stalls except that yours is fresh, and not soaked in saccharine. =)
-Written on a nice Sunday morning when the author’s Mum bought $4 worth of BIG, JUICY lychees, discovered by the author’s youngest sis
Did you know, that you can easily remove the seed of the lychee fruit without much hassle to enjoy a mouthful of lychee juice and flesh? When you peel off the lychee’s skin, observe the folding of the lychee flesh at the bottom (point furthest away from the stem). Gently peel open that fold to reveal the lychee seed. From there, tear the flesh away from the skin in a gentle fashion to prevent wasting all the fresh lychee juice. Once you get a good hold of the seed, pull it out in one fast action and Tada! You have a seedless lychee, very much the same as those sold in cans and fruit stalls except that yours is fresh, and not soaked in saccharine. =)
-Written on a nice Sunday morning when the author’s Mum bought $4 worth of BIG, JUICY lychees, discovered by the author’s youngest sis
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
today is a bad day, i got up late...my handphone battery is flat, and i didn't get enough sleep.. so i'm in a bad mood. now, i cannot sleep, have to practise further for a humiliating performance...i want to try to do better, but...
i want to cry..... are looks everything? just because she is stick thin, and has rebonded hair, she must stand in the center? i'm afraid my dance moves are not even enough to put my on par with her...i think i should just retire from some stupid fantasy of being a dancer and be the auntie that dispenses drug...
i mean, what's the point, i trained and pushed myself so hard in december for the competition just to attain a level 2 salsa cert, i thought it was very impressive, considering i only bargained for a lvel 1.... then here comes people who i don't even think can pass my basic class standard...getting a level 2 cert too??? i must go back today and throw away my certs
i want to cry..... are looks everything? just because she is stick thin, and has rebonded hair, she must stand in the center? i'm afraid my dance moves are not even enough to put my on par with her...i think i should just retire from some stupid fantasy of being a dancer and be the auntie that dispenses drug...
i mean, what's the point, i trained and pushed myself so hard in december for the competition just to attain a level 2 salsa cert, i thought it was very impressive, considering i only bargained for a lvel 1.... then here comes people who i don't even think can pass my basic class standard...getting a level 2 cert too??? i must go back today and throw away my certs
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Complacency
after surviving 5 tests by doing one hour one chapter, my complacency has gotten the better of me...today's test saw me getting the lowest score ever for pharmacotherapy.... think average of 18/20...and i scored 2 standarad deviations away...and it's not 22/20.
then it also affected my presentation for my ISM as well. i remember not rehearsing my presentations and still be able to do a good job... sighs.....then class even got restless and started talking very loudly halfway thru....
after surviving 5 tests by doing one hour one chapter, my complacency has gotten the better of me...today's test saw me getting the lowest score ever for pharmacotherapy.... think average of 18/20...and i scored 2 standarad deviations away...and it's not 22/20.
then it also affected my presentation for my ISM as well. i remember not rehearsing my presentations and still be able to do a good job... sighs.....then class even got restless and started talking very loudly halfway thru....
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
| Your Personality Is |
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them! |
Saturday, April 01, 2006
New stage in life
erm, everyone, i have something to announce: i have a new boyfriend.
might come as a shock to some, coz Jeremy and me have been together for so long. but this might not be news at all to some, i've been blogging about my new boyfriend, Nigel, for a very long time...4 months??
took me quite a while to make such a clear-cut decision, lots of heart-break moments between me and my new bf, because i told him time and again that i cannot accept his love. tried gentle ways, tried cruel means, all to make him give up. but when he did give up, it was my turn to be heart-broken.
finally i decided to take a leap of faith, faith that following my heart will give me happiness.
so far, i've been riding on my new found happiness, and i'm still on the crest of it.
no doubt there are memories...good ones, bad ones, i remember them all. everything i see can remind me of Jeremy. i almost made the mistake of treating the happiness in my memories as an indication that i still love him.
then i had a good talk with Nigel, remembered why i had up my mind to make a break away from such a stable relationship, and realised how much hurt i have caused the person i love. how stupid of me to hurt the person i love because i'm not sure. how worried he must be, that anytime I can change my mind and let myself to wavered and persuaded to leave him again. yes again. after so many many difficulties, we finally got together, and it might be lost again. this lack of certainty is so scary in itself, i cannot believe what possessed him to endure it.
and yet he did. and even did the hardest task of trusting me, and sending me back to my hostel, when he knows how near Jeremy can be and how far away he'll be if anything happens.
the difference in this all, is that i do love him. besides being utterly touched, i feel very happy that i can be the woman that he showers his love upon. that i am the object of affections.
the past 12 days have passed tremendously fast, anything to make me happy, he'll do. anything to make me more confident of myself. for the first time in my life, i cycled to ECP in the evening, cycled to the end of the cycling tracks, listened to the crashing of waves on the sand while talking about anything and everything.
Thank you for this new phase in life, i trust you when you say you'll never let me down. i just hope that i receive more support in my decision.
erm, everyone, i have something to announce: i have a new boyfriend.
might come as a shock to some, coz Jeremy and me have been together for so long. but this might not be news at all to some, i've been blogging about my new boyfriend, Nigel, for a very long time...4 months??
took me quite a while to make such a clear-cut decision, lots of heart-break moments between me and my new bf, because i told him time and again that i cannot accept his love. tried gentle ways, tried cruel means, all to make him give up. but when he did give up, it was my turn to be heart-broken.
finally i decided to take a leap of faith, faith that following my heart will give me happiness.
so far, i've been riding on my new found happiness, and i'm still on the crest of it.
no doubt there are memories...good ones, bad ones, i remember them all. everything i see can remind me of Jeremy. i almost made the mistake of treating the happiness in my memories as an indication that i still love him.
then i had a good talk with Nigel, remembered why i had up my mind to make a break away from such a stable relationship, and realised how much hurt i have caused the person i love. how stupid of me to hurt the person i love because i'm not sure. how worried he must be, that anytime I can change my mind and let myself to wavered and persuaded to leave him again. yes again. after so many many difficulties, we finally got together, and it might be lost again. this lack of certainty is so scary in itself, i cannot believe what possessed him to endure it.
and yet he did. and even did the hardest task of trusting me, and sending me back to my hostel, when he knows how near Jeremy can be and how far away he'll be if anything happens.
the difference in this all, is that i do love him. besides being utterly touched, i feel very happy that i can be the woman that he showers his love upon. that i am the object of affections.
the past 12 days have passed tremendously fast, anything to make me happy, he'll do. anything to make me more confident of myself. for the first time in my life, i cycled to ECP in the evening, cycled to the end of the cycling tracks, listened to the crashing of waves on the sand while talking about anything and everything.
Thank you for this new phase in life, i trust you when you say you'll never let me down. i just hope that i receive more support in my decision.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
YEAH! went to get my postponed dose of Xiao Long Bao today... and bbq chicken wings, and fried wanton, and dessert!!!! : sweetened rice wine with flour balls...*drools*
then walked around.... and actually got to buying something that's on my wish list for a long long time, basically 1 year... since i had my attachmentat guar dian, i've found that La Roche Posay is a very very good brand of skincare products.... you got to try to believe...
yah.... now i have the moisturising toner from the whitening series as part of my skincare regime..... *feels so privileged*....
i think dinner at holland V is a very good break away from PK horrible surprise test and biotech nonsense., when i came back i felt so energised, despite my accumulated lack of sleep. so i just worked and worked on my essay, and actually completed the parts that i couldn't finish at 4 am yesterday.
okay, shall sleep early today..
then walked around.... and actually got to buying something that's on my wish list for a long long time, basically 1 year... since i had my attachmentat guar dian, i've found that La Roche Posay is a very very good brand of skincare products.... you got to try to believe...
yah.... now i have the moisturising toner from the whitening series as part of my skincare regime..... *feels so privileged*....
i think dinner at holland V is a very good break away from PK horrible surprise test and biotech nonsense., when i came back i felt so energised, despite my accumulated lack of sleep. so i just worked and worked on my essay, and actually completed the parts that i couldn't finish at 4 am yesterday.
okay, shall sleep early today..
Sunday, March 26, 2006
I'm SO going to die, i mean it when i say i have no priorities. like i have a test on mon and an essay due on mon too, then i go and play captains ball on sat morning and go for birthday party on sat night, then cannot stay up late to stdy, so have to sleep.
when my parents called me and found out that i'm at xenbar, dancing, instead of studying for the tests that i prmised i would be studying for coz i'm not going home, they sounded disapointed. first cannot see me, then realise that dance is more impt than going home to my family. sigh, why am i like that?
am quite sad that i forgot to check a minor detail in my new phone; it has no bluetooth or infrared. shit, now i cannot go shutter-crazy, and i can't easily upload my pics, and photoblog..... so, no pictures...especially og my white mascara and my fake eyelashes...was really lucky to be able to put them on within 5 minutes or less. but no pics... :(
when my parents called me and found out that i'm at xenbar, dancing, instead of studying for the tests that i prmised i would be studying for coz i'm not going home, they sounded disapointed. first cannot see me, then realise that dance is more impt than going home to my family. sigh, why am i like that?
am quite sad that i forgot to check a minor detail in my new phone; it has no bluetooth or infrared. shit, now i cannot go shutter-crazy, and i can't easily upload my pics, and photoblog..... so, no pictures...especially og my white mascara and my fake eyelashes...was really lucky to be able to put them on within 5 minutes or less. but no pics... :(
Joke to share:
>>Paying by kisses...
>>
>>Dear Sweetheart,
>>
>>I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are
my
>>sweetheart
>>
>>Your husband
>>Allen
>>
>>
>>His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
>>
>>Dearest sweetheart,
>>Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
>>
>>1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
>>2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
>>3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
>>instead of the rent. 4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so
I
>>have given him some other items........... 5. Other expenses 40 kisses
>>
>>Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
>>hope I can complete the month using this balance.
>>
>>Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise !!!
>>
>>Your Sweet Heart
>>Paying by kisses...
>>
>>Dear Sweetheart,
>>
>>I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are
my
>>sweetheart
>>
>>Your husband
>>Allen
>>
>>
>>His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
>>
>>Dearest sweetheart,
>>Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
>>
>>1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
>>2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
>>3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
>>instead of the rent. 4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so
I
>>have given him some other items........... 5. Other expenses 40 kisses
>>
>>Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
>>hope I can complete the month using this balance.
>>
>>Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise !!!
>>
>>Your Sweet Heart
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Watched "Rumour has it..." yesterday. i know, i haven't watched a movie since a while, and neither have jeremy and me really gone out on a "date" for a while. but you can't blame a busy pharmacist student taking 6 modules this semester, including a UROPS project, who has/wants to go for salsa 3 days a week.
as most viewers will do when watching a movie and most readers will do while reading a novel, i find myself in the same shoes as the protagonist...
the thing about everybody wanting a life that's spectacular and fulfilling, i want that too... but as the grandma said, "step in line". it's because of this goal/aim that i make many decisions in my life, be it subconscious or not. like how i decided at sec 4 that i want to be a pharmacist...and i haven't regretted pursuing this education path. i thought, i like dabbling in medicine, so why not choose a profession which you enjoy doing...(i know i know, that's the ideal job everyone wants) so, i took up bio in jc...
then i got thrown to a jc of my second choice. frankly speaking, whichever choice which wasn't my first choice, i wouldn't be happy to go. first reason is the architechture...i love st nicks too much, even the building. so, hc was the nearest it got to a decent school building among all the jcs. second was the family feeling... also from st nicks. and third, well it was a silly reason. come to think of it, there's also a 4th reason: prestige. oh well. so i had to think of some other way to make my life spectaculatar and fulfilling. so guess what, i made it my "hobby" to have flings. it's probably the first most definite step i took towards eternal damnation.
but now, i'm getting the feeling that being a pharmacist is not that special... it's like a n+1... although i like the feeling of being on the shop floor, being there to offer good advice to the public... truth is, i'll just be one of those aunties standing behind a counter, or one of those money-grubbing guardian employees...whatever it is, it's a n+1 situation. being a research pharmacist or working in a pharma company doesn't make the cut either. i think the closest i'll get to being "useful" or making a contribution is teaching...i know i probably can't make it as a lecturer, i'm not even getting a 2nd upper for my honours.
hence the sadness.
then comes along salsa. something which i feel i'm not n+1 of. something which makes me feel that my existence/presence makes a difference... i hope its not that slight a difference. so, no matter how stressful or packed my schedule is...i'll still trudge on...i still remember what my pri 6 form teacher told my mom. (he's someone many/all his students and their parents respect alot) he said: "don't worry about stressing the children, children can take stress very well" and also without stress, little improvement is achieved. so, why take the easy way out...i can't quit without a fight. that being said, i'm not longer a kid, my stress tolerance level is exponentially decreasing...(signs include moodiness and headaches which i never dreamt of having)
Boooo to growing up.
as most viewers will do when watching a movie and most readers will do while reading a novel, i find myself in the same shoes as the protagonist...
the thing about everybody wanting a life that's spectacular and fulfilling, i want that too... but as the grandma said, "step in line". it's because of this goal/aim that i make many decisions in my life, be it subconscious or not. like how i decided at sec 4 that i want to be a pharmacist...and i haven't regretted pursuing this education path. i thought, i like dabbling in medicine, so why not choose a profession which you enjoy doing...(i know i know, that's the ideal job everyone wants) so, i took up bio in jc...
then i got thrown to a jc of my second choice. frankly speaking, whichever choice which wasn't my first choice, i wouldn't be happy to go. first reason is the architechture...i love st nicks too much, even the building. so, hc was the nearest it got to a decent school building among all the jcs. second was the family feeling... also from st nicks. and third, well it was a silly reason. come to think of it, there's also a 4th reason: prestige. oh well. so i had to think of some other way to make my life spectaculatar and fulfilling. so guess what, i made it my "hobby" to have flings. it's probably the first most definite step i took towards eternal damnation.
but now, i'm getting the feeling that being a pharmacist is not that special... it's like a n+1... although i like the feeling of being on the shop floor, being there to offer good advice to the public... truth is, i'll just be one of those aunties standing behind a counter, or one of those money-grubbing guardian employees...whatever it is, it's a n+1 situation. being a research pharmacist or working in a pharma company doesn't make the cut either. i think the closest i'll get to being "useful" or making a contribution is teaching...i know i probably can't make it as a lecturer, i'm not even getting a 2nd upper for my honours.
hence the sadness.
then comes along salsa. something which i feel i'm not n+1 of. something which makes me feel that my existence/presence makes a difference... i hope its not that slight a difference. so, no matter how stressful or packed my schedule is...i'll still trudge on...i still remember what my pri 6 form teacher told my mom. (he's someone many/all his students and their parents respect alot) he said: "don't worry about stressing the children, children can take stress very well" and also without stress, little improvement is achieved. so, why take the easy way out...i can't quit without a fight. that being said, i'm not longer a kid, my stress tolerance level is exponentially decreasing...(signs include moodiness and headaches which i never dreamt of having)
Boooo to growing up.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
NO ME AMES by J.Lo and Marc Anthony
Tell me, why are you crying?
Because I'm happy
And why are you so choked up?
From loneliness
And why are you squeezing my hand
So tightly
And your thoughts seem to be wandering?
I love you so much
Why?
Don't be so hard-headed
Stop doubting me
Although in the future there's a large sky
I'm not afraid
I want to love you
Don't love me because you think I'm different
You don't think it's right
For us to spend this time together
Don't love me because I know what a lie it would be
If you don't think I deserve your love
Don't love me
I'm going to stay another day
Don't love me because I'm lost
Because I change the world
Because it's my destiny
Because I can't change
We are a mirror
And you are my reflectionDon't love me
To be dying in a war of regret and sad thoughts
Don't love me
Because in this world
This great love deserves to soar through the blue sky
I don't know what to say
That's the truth
If people want to want to hurt us, they will
If you and I part now
They don't matter
But in this world
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't listen when I say I don't love you
Don't love me
Stop breaking my heart with these "I don't love you's"
Don't love me
Because my heart is breaking
That is useless
I will always love you
Don't love me
You have suffered enough
My heart has turned cold like a million winters
Don't love me
To forget about your gray days
I want you to always love me
You and I are changing
One with the other
And always together
This love is like the sun
That comes out after a storm
Like two comets in the same galaxy
Don't love me
Don't love me
Don't love me
(Don't love me, don't love me, don't love me)
Tell me, why are you crying?
Because I'm happy
And why are you so choked up?
From loneliness
And why are you squeezing my hand
So tightly
And your thoughts seem to be wandering?
I love you so much
Why?
Don't be so hard-headed
Stop doubting me
Although in the future there's a large sky
I'm not afraid
I want to love you
Don't love me because you think I'm different
You don't think it's right
For us to spend this time together
Don't love me because I know what a lie it would be
If you don't think I deserve your love
Don't love me
I'm going to stay another day
Don't love me because I'm lost
Because I change the world
Because it's my destiny
Because I can't change
We are a mirror
And you are my reflectionDon't love me
To be dying in a war of regret and sad thoughts
Don't love me
Because in this world
This great love deserves to soar through the blue sky
I don't know what to say
That's the truth
If people want to want to hurt us, they will
If you and I part now
They don't matter
But in this world
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't listen when I say I don't love you
Don't love me
Stop breaking my heart with these "I don't love you's"
Don't love me
Because my heart is breaking
That is useless
I will always love you
Don't love me
You have suffered enough
My heart has turned cold like a million winters
Don't love me
To forget about your gray days
I want you to always love me
You and I are changing
One with the other
And always together
This love is like the sun
That comes out after a storm
Like two comets in the same galaxy
Don't love me
Don't love me
Don't love me
(Don't love me, don't love me, don't love me)
Thursday, February 23, 2006
took 90mins to get back from xenbar today. partly because my legs couldn't move anymore, i sat beside the expressway for a while. thinking to myself, for the first time, the beauty of the expressway. one moment all is silent, the next, some piece of moving metal will zoom pass. imagine placing yourself slightly too far out from the kerb. in a while, one of the zooming pieces of metal will meet you. then, hopefully, your heart is weak enough to stop functioning due to the trauma.
it has to be your heart that stops working, it can't be only your brain, or some limbs.... a person is dead when the heart stops beating. but the same person is a vegetable if the brain stops working.
realised that i can't do a single thing well. i can't dance (fall down just by moving to my right), can't be a pharmacist (sucky grades), can't teach as well (i had to get someone else to teach for me), can't do stretching (stretch a bit more, my muscle is strained, plus my palms start bleeding and trembling).... FAILURE...
the only thing i probably can do is not eat. didn't/forgot to eat just now, and the only thing i ate today is a sandwich for brunch, and 2 cookies...and i have no appetite. not hungry.... is this an eating disorder?
it has to be your heart that stops working, it can't be only your brain, or some limbs.... a person is dead when the heart stops beating. but the same person is a vegetable if the brain stops working.
realised that i can't do a single thing well. i can't dance (fall down just by moving to my right), can't be a pharmacist (sucky grades), can't teach as well (i had to get someone else to teach for me), can't do stretching (stretch a bit more, my muscle is strained, plus my palms start bleeding and trembling).... FAILURE...
the only thing i probably can do is not eat. didn't/forgot to eat just now, and the only thing i ate today is a sandwich for brunch, and 2 cookies...and i have no appetite. not hungry.... is this an eating disorder?
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
why am i so accident prone?
i just jammed my hip bone into the stair railing...okay, that probably was a fault of mine, but one would have thought my hip was WAY below the height of something like the stair railing...
came back yesterday and found a new scratch on my ankle, still bleeding. and i looked a bit further down my feet, i saw the remains of another scratch on my big toe. (this one is more problematic cause it hurts and itches at the same time, and i use my big toe to slide into my splits) then since we're on the path of wound self-discovery, i decided to take a look at the rest of my leg. wala! blueblacks on my knees and ankles, scars for previous scratches, it's amazing how many times i can get stepped on/knocked/elbowed on the same day, not to mention same week.
is there something wrong with me? wonder if the wounds are inflicted on me by accident or otherwise.
i just jammed my hip bone into the stair railing...okay, that probably was a fault of mine, but one would have thought my hip was WAY below the height of something like the stair railing...
came back yesterday and found a new scratch on my ankle, still bleeding. and i looked a bit further down my feet, i saw the remains of another scratch on my big toe. (this one is more problematic cause it hurts and itches at the same time, and i use my big toe to slide into my splits) then since we're on the path of wound self-discovery, i decided to take a look at the rest of my leg. wala! blueblacks on my knees and ankles, scars for previous scratches, it's amazing how many times i can get stepped on/knocked/elbowed on the same day, not to mention same week.
is there something wrong with me? wonder if the wounds are inflicted on me by accident or otherwise.
Term break is ending...!!! Have i made good use of it?
for one, i haven't made use of the lack of morning lessons to wake up late. i keep waking up a 8 am.. thanks to the daily practical classes. then by the time i come back from xenbar, i'm all tired. so i want to sleep immediately. i feel quite bad about it, i dun have the energy to spend time with Jeremy. then usually i'll tired to stay awake for a while, but as time goes by, the need to sleep overcomes me, and i become a grumpy old woman, demanding sleep.
on the bright side, i've been having dreams of the march competition. it's not the nightmarish kind yet. i welcome it, coz it gives me ideas of what moves to include... last night i dreamt of cartwheels. i think i gotta write everything down soon, least i forget.
settled my international passport too, then i have to settle my ipsf registration, my pda is going to be replaced too, and i've actually started studying for my friday test!
okay, if things are going well, i think i'll start studying for biotech test too, then finishing vetting all the 5 practical reports that have piled up so far, then start writing my urops report. at least these take my mind of my aching leg muscles which are threatening to go on strike from the many splits it's forced to do.
don't have the time to think of other things...so busy...
for one, i haven't made use of the lack of morning lessons to wake up late. i keep waking up a 8 am.. thanks to the daily practical classes. then by the time i come back from xenbar, i'm all tired. so i want to sleep immediately. i feel quite bad about it, i dun have the energy to spend time with Jeremy. then usually i'll tired to stay awake for a while, but as time goes by, the need to sleep overcomes me, and i become a grumpy old woman, demanding sleep.
on the bright side, i've been having dreams of the march competition. it's not the nightmarish kind yet. i welcome it, coz it gives me ideas of what moves to include... last night i dreamt of cartwheels. i think i gotta write everything down soon, least i forget.
settled my international passport too, then i have to settle my ipsf registration, my pda is going to be replaced too, and i've actually started studying for my friday test!
okay, if things are going well, i think i'll start studying for biotech test too, then finishing vetting all the 5 practical reports that have piled up so far, then start writing my urops report. at least these take my mind of my aching leg muscles which are threatening to go on strike from the many splits it's forced to do.
don't have the time to think of other things...so busy...
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