went to Singapore Art Museum today for cyberarts field trip........very nice....all the art pieces.....among them there's this art piece called TV-buddha...now who's worshiping who.... the tv faces the buddha statue all day and vice versa....the tv carries the image of the buddha statue.....but i didn't get a pic of it...you've got to see it yourself...

however, i got this cook art piece called the adieu 1 by ger van elk....its a pic of a painting of a guy waving and walking away (into the painting....


the following are connected...it's called rhythm and song....naturally, i'm attracted to its brillant colours...the colours sort of brings out the music that the women in the painting are playing...




this one is my favourite.....abstract art.... reminds me of vincent van gorh


this one is titled among men is man.....

watched dirty dancing 2...
plot was very very cliche.....but i always dig the dancing.....very cool dancing....was telling myself, that if dirty dancing 2 has all the moves from dirty dancing 1......i'll rate the movie terrible....

but i was wrong....the movie's set in cuba....and there's this latino thingy and marackers....(don't know how to spell it).....it's a very irresistible beat....makes you want to moovvve your hips as well....but unfortunately....we don't know how to.....

want to download the cuban music.....kool!

was reading this book "the gift" or something....distributed by campus crusade..... cool book....it tells what the bible says in a very easy to understand story kind of way......

read this part whereby Jesus made a very selfless choice to leave home so as to preach to others......if it was me....i'll never have the courage to do so.....what complete belief and trust!!!!

was thinking, God doesn't do things so that we return his love....he doesn't expect it.....just like friendship, or love, you give and you don't expect anything in return......and yet.....it is the way preachers word the idea....to make us feel that Jesus gave up and suffered so so so so much for us, thus, we should give up material things and selfish gains, and do more for the ministry "in return" of His Kindness......BUT, they always emphasize that what we do is never enough to compare to Jesus....it's just this idea of reciprocating that we, our conscience, feels...that we must do something in return....we are being treated so well....etc etc....come to think of it, feel a bit exploited lah.....

managed to program my ideal homepage......but....still can't tackle blogger...
will study javascript more intensely in the holidays

am still so obssessed with tala and filipino.

slept for the longest time today.....slept at 2am til 11.30am....then did some stuff, only to sleep again at 2pm till like 4pm when i decided that i should go for the last lecture for one of my modules. but it was boring and because the lecturer didn't bother to write down the mathematical derivations, the people were so confused....but it wasn't that fun because he was rushing thru the lecture...no time to tell stories....

was really happy and grateful to faith for lending me her book.....finished it already.....love the name of the little girl....tala!....tala!...sounds so nice...so innocent...so carefree. not as inspiring as the first book but...it's definitely a book you keep and read again when you're down, or have lost your meaning in life......good book....

5 more weeks to exams...i'm still not very anxious yet, saw that julia from my chem class has started revision....can't revise the subject now lah...i'll just get sick of it and forget all the details when the exams draw near......

got fever and very bad sore throat. think my brain has been fired....been doing stupid things like holding on to my comb until i left the building....then i wonder why i didn't left it in my room....then while brushing my teeth, put cleanser on my toothbrush...!!!!

my video for my food junkie got erased from the computer memory....period!

went on my long awaited shopping trip today. found the right person for it, lingz. but also becuz of me, i made her late for school (prep for openhouse)

was really long awaited.....had one month of mid-terms is is not in the middle of the term or sem at all. glad to note that i passed my practical with satisfying marks...92 average, 80 for solution, 96 for capsules (careless mistake) and 100 marks for external use lotion. heh...

and also, my physio test which i forgot how to answer the 7 mark question which i studied 2 days before the test. the paper was upon 40..... got 83.8 percent....ok lah....

then the lsm test....remember that it was the memorable rainy monday in which it rained for 20 hours. didn't take proper note that i had to go for the morning tutorial...which will help in my 2nd physio test...so i slept till....12? i forgot how many hours i slept and what time i slept... but....the paper was structured in sure a way that, it's very dependent on what the lecturer wants to allocate marks for....and the best part was that we didn't have a clue as to what the lecturers want.....but still hope to identify myself with the second bell curve which is on the high end of the spectrum. basically, for lsm module...the engineers are having a great disadvantage for not taking bio in jc. but i believe some of them did.....see!! want to take the easy way out in jc....take double sci and double maths....go home early everyday lah!

oh, yah, must remember to mention that i learnt how to play starcraft when i went over to jeremy's house during the weekend. was supposed to stay in the hostel and study for the 2 tests in that week.....but..=|...yah, affirmed the fact that grace cannot play computer games at all.

went shopping at far east and mostly og orchard point. spent so much money......i think i spent about $200 this week for eating and shopping already. during tests...i tend to buy and stock up on chocolates and potato chips....so.....spent alot....also updated my wardrobe.....that will teach yixiong to complain that i have no clothes to wear!but that a secondary concern.

the main thing was that i got to buy a black spag top which i've always wondered why i don't own one, looking at how many black tops i have. and a blue spag top....amazing why i don't have one of my fav colour too. and a sun surf top, which wanling describes as sweet, i think it's beachy...and its the design which i've been wanting to buy for a long time too.....and i finally got a sports bra which is of affordable price too.....

am so happy. but not very happy when i keep seeing the figures on my receipts which i used nets card to pay....did quite abit of personal grooming as well. first time go at manicure....feels good, great actually, but i tend to spoil it too fast.....plucked eyebrows....please my mum...she says my friend pluck not very professional....and it became apparently so when the beautician asked if my friend helped me to pluck.....and shave.

and in my fickle mindedness, i got persuaded by the salesgirl to buy a silver bracelet and necklace....bracelet is good but necklace...i have 3 necklaces from jeremy excluding the ones i have...and i seldom wear them....on my way back, the idea of giving the whole set of jewellery to my mom for her birthday hit me.....feels so much better knowing that the money i spent wasn't entirely for me....

got to thank lingz for shopping with me. check out the black top she bought from phuturelondon.....

as usual, i'm slacking away while i should be conscienciously doing my homework....tata...

fayeth>>better i blog a lot t one time than i don't blog, or blog 5 times a day.....

spent the whole weekend and monday living like a hermit, didn't check my emails etc....

learnt to play starcraft.....but i suck at it BIG time......yah......need lots of help and advice and practice ;)

clearing my mailsand assignments now, realise i have 1 interview and 2 presentations due by next week for one module. not to mention that i have physio test this thurs.....killer subject......haven't study yet.....cerebral system and kidney leh....but then the kidney hor.....focus is on heart problems one.....weird lecturer....

Remember a time long ago,
long long ago,
when you were barely taller than your parents' knees and walked hand in hand with one hand in each of theirs?
that was when you would be cuddled and fondly told "you're the best thing in my life, you're my inspiration"

Remember a time long ago,
yet not far away,
when nature was your inspiration and harmony was beauty and perfection?
that was when you sit around hours on end to bask in their presence, for life's inspiration.

Do you recognise a time,
very recently coined.
When Lemmings jumped over the cliff into the valley of hip-o-creatures?
that's when you almost became one of them, except that you have learnt from the hippo song.

Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

when i don't get respect and appreciation, the crystal is chipped.

feel OFF, like not happening, not alive, not making full use of my time. it's the weekend, i have no lessons tomorrow and i'm not going out. one good reason not to is that the a level students will be running all over. celebrating, sobbing.....

what did i do last year? i think i went straight home, none of my friends were in an outrageously good mood to celebrate.

don't like people. prefer machines. what's the use of acting cute an giving half-hearted praises. i think i need someone to talk to. some one who can make me feel confident, someone whom i respect, someone who's been through all this but is not in anything. i think i know who. but would it be weird receiving a distress call at 7 am in the morning? great way to sadden the whole day right?

need to find my essence, my roots, myself again.

am procrastinating my spiritual development, my studies as well. guess it's true. the moment i kick God out of my life, everything goes wrong.

i'm conditioned to think that anything that's bad happening to me is because I am not at peace with God. and vice-versa. however, i'm less sensitive to my happiness.

i have no stamina and determination. i want out, NOW!
(goes back and sob inside)

*afterthought*
i really told myself not to feel so hurt that i incurred the wrath of someone time and again. "you can't please anyone" but.....but.....it's not as if i don't care. in fact, i care a lot about this. i figured out that i was made better without a mouth. and my fingers would do a better job talking. the reason being i type slower than i talk. so i think faster than i type. so i can backspace. yah! typing allows backspace!

go away, all ye who don't understand me. (i'm of course not talking to the correct audience here, but i have time on my hands and i need somewhere to vent my tots)

this is a long blog but many times, if only i have a PDA with me, you'll see much more tots. it's just like the time when i was with jh and i write down almost everything i see hear and think, mostly think to him. that was when i transformed from a one finger typist to a 3 finger one. still don't use the last 2 fingers, got weak fingers, can't play piano.

bombed myself again. it's not that i'm wrong or what. it's just....humans!....i want my girl friends back.

i should have adopted jh and josh's attitude when i adopted their style. now i'm neither here nor there. smses with no smileys no full stops no commas, no nothing except spaces and letters. question marks and everything else.

oh yah...pictures from fuzion which the manager persuaded us to take on v day.

(pic too big, affecting loading time, so i took it off)

supposed to get all our friends to go eat at fuzion and shun bian vote for the most charming nus couple. cheesy lah....plus, there were at least 4 usp couples i know of, out of the 20 chosen "finalists". so how's that for usp, as a part-time SDU?

did many man things which irritated myself today.

Female mag says it's supposed to be my lucky day!!what utter rubbish!

first i didn't get enough sleep. woke up late, didn't want to go for discipleship, so i turned off my handphone...became uncontactable (i know it's very bad, i consoled myself that i was going to go for the performance that night)
then...went for class etc....can't remember what other stuff i did which i found stupid. but the starting point, i think, was chem and us tut. i walked out of the class coz i didn't do the "assignment". the lecturer ah...when i did my homework nicely and all...all he did was discuss the answers...so i learnt from my lesson...just keep everything in my head, go to class. or better still, keep quiet in class, in case i incurr the further warth of my classmates for being too responsive to simo's questions. but....!!guess i should have keep my eyes more alert and differentiate between assignment and discussion and what-nots.

then went back to my room, dump my laptop, which i tot i would use during my chem and us tut, but didn't coz SR6 no power point. (that in itself quite stupid already) then went to sci, bought snacks and started eating....immediately felt stupid when i saw the amount of food that was left at chatterbox. the best part was, i tot i left my matric card in my room...i tot so, until very much later that night, by the time i realised it, i felt utterly stupid, coz i was forced to give up my deep dark secret (which also just formed because it just happened today....basically everything went wrong lah) because jeremy, who used his card to let me up, sensed that i was keeping something from him.

went to La-selle sia. (didn't go for the mass-e performance which i have been taking for granted i'll go) took bus from there. from the wrong direction, ended up at katong. no dinner some more. wasted $10 to take taxi. didn't take the lift offered by my classmate. regret it a lot....but for the sake of my pride.....basically he has a tongue ring, and i did once fantasised about how it'll be like kissing him, with the tongue ring. coz he always plays with it in class, and i always notice it coz he's sitting opp me most of the time. diff group mah... and he's a nice guy....ac guy, better than TCH right?

think they should have mouses for left-handers...and make it as available as the right-handers ones.....

just came back from gym, under the supervision of my personal trainer. tonight weather very hot and humid leh.....

got a new plush stool....got new nail polish colour too....


went home, my family so happy i come back...we all went out to eat....they ordered all sorts of seafood...!!!sting ray, sotong, fishes etc....kangkong with belacan too!!...in the end my arm very jialat.....

no lessons today! physio lectures ended for the sem already....no more physio for the rest of my uni life!...but still have to go for tut and cas and exam.....

went shopping today! at great world city. it's my 1st time at great world city leh... ling brought me too all the level toilets...bought new nail polish....new plush stool. and hair clips too...going to emulate Fiona, the butterfly girl, according to wanling. 3 hair clips for a bun.







don't like the new edu minister. first he screws up the o lvels then he screws up the uni admin....

i know, according to some of you..(you know who you are) agree that i have a come-and-bug-me face......but seriously, i think i'm getting a little too lucky.....some sort of tao3 hua1 yun4....

today, guy i flirted/danced/got acquainted (which ever your definition) with floated my sms inbox....

>hi, remember me?
>do know you my name?
>are you busy now?
>how are you doing?
>when are you going to club again?
>next time you go call me
>very diff to get your friends to club together
>sometimes we get girls to come drink with us too....
>i think you are very busy right now.....shall "talk" to you next time

etc etc

accidentally sent the add of this blog to focc yahoo groups.....panicked.....die die die........what's the worst case scenario....pak loon decides to read everything and bug my personal life...?

having food junkie tomorrow....as usually i'm quite stressed coz haven't completely ensured that everything will go well. got prizes to take care of.....impromtu things to settle....as usually too lots of paper work.....and the challenge trophy ah....so big... taller than me when i carry it. and a med lect saw me and asked, is it for me?....hahaha. lots of people making eyes at me and expressions to recognise the fact that i'm carrying an extra large thingy in front of me. now it's sitting on my table...no space for me to do anything other than use my laptop.

had an interesting day. at 3am in the morning this guy called chris, 27, kl, icq me and ask whether i want to see him naked....then since it was 3 am in the morning....it was good amusement, so i said..ok....so took the trouble to download msn and install etc....then saw the webcam directed at this ** on the webcam.....then... jeremy came along and disturbed the poor guy....saying things like are you sure it's supposed to be like that? why does it look weird ....etc etc...then the guy sounded very insecure of himself....hahahaha

then the best part....the guy said he got nothing to arouse him. so jeremy went and told him a story about the beach, girl in bikini and thong and wiggling....(in his actually words when he tells other people about it). then ask the guy enough a not, then he said yah, thanks....

hahaha....didn't know such a thing exists...

then today right, some engin year 4 guy called me from his home phone
Guy:Hi, you are Grace rite?
Me:Yah,
GUy: you are organising the food junkie challenge rite?
Me: yah
Guy: i'm jing long(can't catch his name), i saw you the other day at sci canteen, i was wondering whether we can be friends.
Me: OKay....
Guy: i mean, it's ok rite? you are not freaked out or something rite? i know its not a usually thing.
Me: no no...i'm ok with making friends
Guy: is there anybody who will be unhappy with you making friends like your boyfriend or something?
Me: no....making friends is good, i dun mind widening my social circle.
GUy: but you have a boyfriend?
Me: yah, but he should be okay with me making friends...
Guy: but you know the intent i have for making friends rite?
Me: but i don't think your intent will be achieved...
Guy: so you are staying at home or in hall?
Me: i stay in hall
Guy: which hall
Me: pgp
Guy: so is your boyfriend staying in pgp
Me: yah
GUy: so he is your senior lah
Me: yah
Guy: pharmacy senior?
Me: no, he's probably in the same fac as you (thinking that engin is a very big fac and such a desperate guy...)
Guy: what fac is your bf in
Me: what fac are you in?
Guy: engin
Me: yah same
Guy: so you got to know your bf thru pgp lah?
Me: Yah....
Guy: so are you in your room rite now?
Me: no, i'm actually rushing for a meeting now...
Guy: ok lah...i call you another time loh....
Me: ok...
*conversation ended*

just had prac.....lab tech says cannot paste the label on the rough parts of the bottle and the bottle is so small.....we had to trim all the 4 auxillary labels to only the words itself which is about half a cm. and glue it onto the bottle....no sticker even. and then we had to fold the label out in the middle, forming a flab in the middle of the bottle, very obscene. then my bench people were complaining about the stupidity of pasting so many labels and all in red, so intimidating.....if we were the patients....we couldn't even try to take the medicine. then i commented that i cannot stand it, i have to document the ridiculous label...then we all lined our bottles up in a line...took pictures at different angles then tried a different arrangement...and snap some more.....chao hilarious.....hahahahah...still waiting for time to pass...maybe i should go study genetics.

as requested:

for those of you wondering if i had a nice valentine's day.....no....but i had a nice celebration.

went to fuzion on friday had a nice dinner...very worth it too. the food was good the manager also coaxed us to take a picture to enter this competition for the most attractive couple. the first time me and jeremy saw the poster we were like, forget it lah. so we posed for her and jeremy decided to kiss me after we took the picture and the manager shrieked,"oh, that's a good picture, can you all kiss again so i can take a picture?" then we were like, "OKay...".....then they gave us chocolates...got coconut inside one!!! so nice to eat. then got 2 teddy bears also. after that went to see how the usp people were doing with their buffet.nobody there one....then ben was trying hard to cut loses on the flowers and selling them at one rose $2....so jeremy bought me one more rose, bought 2 roses, for 2 of my cluster mates...then wrote some lovey dovey note signing of as kh....hahaha, one of them actually tot it was kh who came and delivered the flowers.

then walked to west coast via this very niely built foot path...like in a park lah....lit all the way, far from the sounds of the highway and along the way spotted many people, or shall i say couples, in deserted parts of the park....then reached west coast played with all their playgrounds......very fun leh.....am even thinking of having an amzing race obstacle course there.....not very dangerous but very fun.....

so that ended my valentine's day celebration with tulips.

mugged the whole of saturday and sunday for my physio test.....in the end i forgot everything i studied on saturday. ....i think i need to buy more memorax or vit b to enhance my memory. sighz.....

SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct.
Ever wish you could be a
vampire?






Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

was at chatterbox today.....almost went crazy with all the beautiful flowers there.....even some of the roses were nice......

enjoy:

feel apprehensive.....i know that stress is goingto build up. just like today, i have 2 hours for lunch. here i am trying to clear my mail that has accumulated for a while. need to go osa to request for permission to hang banner. then need to go for lab.....which is synonymous to WAR. then rush to dg/dinner which is out of school then need to come back to school to see simin dance. then only cansit down and start doing my homework. speaking of which i still haven't finish watching the webcast yet. and the tut for that lect is today, just had it.

saw the chem eng cute guy again....graded him 9.3 but today...he was a disappointment. my friends say its his hair.....but now he is only worth 7.....

got this terrible nagging feeling that things are seeping out of my head.

found this on my table today......

feel better now....vented my feelings on the following.......

feel very disturbed now....very....i'm getting very distracted....i keep thinking of him.

want to vent it somewhere.....apparently i'm not the only one....my friend is also going thru this phase too....

sigh....why are all the bashes this sem making sexuality as their publicity vehicle? getting sick of them liao.

saw an article in malaysian newspapers titled vice and virginity. talks about the 3 forces colleges girls face today. one is society's traditional view on virginity. to them, a girl's value is measured by her virginity and its an all-or-nothing idea. not virgin, not a person who demands respect when in the first place, girls aren't very respected esp on the roads. personally i've been a victim....when the guys see that i'm a female driver, they feel free to curse fuck and show middle finger etc. coz they know i won't get out of my car and punch them in their faces....and in actual fact that was exactly what i want to do. but then jeremy calls this nature of me "belligerent". *pouts*

then the second force is something i can't rem then the 3rd one is hormonal force. research shows that teenagers are most strongly affected by their sex hormones at the age of 19 to 20.... (that's me rite?) yup. the writer proposed that society allows couples to get married after the a levels so that the marriage will put the teens' minds at ease and concentrate on studies. besides, the cost of living together is much less, contrary to common belief. so interesting. and then the author also added that parents have to understand that pre-marital sex does not directly lead to impregnation. hahahaha...................oh yah...and he also added that most parents think that having relationships distract a person in their studies.....that's because they themselves have not been to the U and thus don't know how it is for us.......

amazing that this article actually got published in a malaysian newspaper.

home today....almost entertained the idea of staying in hostel to study for chem n us....but seeing how i tend to daydream the minute i look at my notes....think i'll be better off spending time to travel to and fro malaysia. realised that the test is 20% final grade and exam is 35% only.....puts my mind to ease as to how to cope for exam...got chem and us right in the middle of 2 mugger papers.

must blog more when i'm free....find that my typing speed has reduced a lot loh.....and the worst part about coming home ah....i just found out that my younger sister who is now 5-10 cm taller than me is 3 kg less heavy.....oh no........oh no........how how....
i keep telling myself it's the muscles.....and when i was in sec one.....i really was much lighter......=|

did most of my LSM tut today.....feel so guai....tut is on wed.....that's when i can meet my cute chem eng guy again........

got a red and itchy butt....due to vodka...hope it'll go away soon and not take 2 weeks.

SOOooo long never blog already.....losing the speed at typing......anyway, i lost my inspiration to blog along with my handphone....my off button couldn't work....and then somehow, the handphone shut itself off......so i was left with no handphone, and the worst part is, i had to do lots of communication last week and some how, all my contacts were absorbed into my handphone memory and i couldn't contact anyone even if i changed handphone.....so poor thing......didn't expect myself to be so dependent on it...

so no handphone, no hp camera.....so sad....in the end got my handphone fixed...its working good now....but somehow hor.....the extention doesn't work anymore.....so sad, now no radio....luckily my camera is in built and not extention.

went chionging last night.......it feels like so long since i went to a club......ever since my very eventful 19th birthday......but last night was great....the place very big.....music is good.....drinks were on free flow......not that it was a great thing or what....in fact, if it was only two cups per person, i might not have gotten a headache last night.....but the drunkedness was good enough....good enough to lose oneself into and enjoy the rhythm of the music....

yup......good music, got better after faith, wl and marc left....pity....but i'm glad i stayed for it. was so so so surprised i saw my pharmacy seniors there.......it was like OMG.....and i didn't know he smoked....i mean...it was expected that if he pubs often, he smokes right....but i didn't expect it anyway. then he introduced me to his friend Nick.....hahaha, name is like tom, dick, harry. yah but anyway the place was cold....before the crowd arrived. drank more than 5 cups....was like...shit.....over dose!

then learnt how to play finger guessing....my senior saboed me to drink again....then danced with bizcom and haze.......then don't know how, faith they all dancing on the platform liao....then kenna pulled to join them....then that nick guy ah....he's a guy lah....got close to me while trying to talk to me above the music volume.....heh, but then he wouldn't do anything fun coz if anything, he will be ruining my senior's reputation and there's a fair bit more for him to go before graduation.......yup...flirted ....a bit....too bad my friends couldn't make it....more targets .....

then later faith they all left and my senior persuaded me to stay for one hour more....he said he would drive me back....so ok loh....free ride anyway. then got headache, jeremy made tea for me....made me finish it and bathe proper before i slept so that i'll sleep better....and read the devotional readings to me....while i was trying to pay full attention. so glad of jeremy....where got such a bf, let you go flirt then come back...take care of you....must get something very special for him for v day....but don't know what....how?

i actually woke up in time for my 8 am lect this morning....but by 10 something i was drifting to sleep already....then after 12...i came back to room and slept till 3.30 then i had to drag myself to my chem tut....only 3 pple were then at 4.05.......best loh.....

did a personality test....it says i value pride most, followed by family, money, career and last love........would say its quite accurate, but not that all the above vary greatly in importance in my life. ..... then it interprets that I'm a loyal person, i think the person i love is clingy, my enemies are dirty...my life is open...and here comes the least accurate part, it says i think sex is bitter........HUH!?!?!

you all try it too.....arrange then animals: horse, cow, sheep, tiger and pig in the order you like....

tried from travelling to and fro malaysia. shall put lots of pictures

cooked some butter prawns for reunion dinner......very nice, i can tell just from smelling...hehehe


nice scenary at grandma's house:




had steamboat and then went ktv on the eve of CNY eve.....

am learning how to use final cut pro in usp cyerarts studio now.....have to count on myself to do my work .......learn learn......shhh............

Haaa............finally got time to myself to do my own stuff. when one gets involved in so many things, meeting so many people, you find that time to ourself is really precious, and yet i'm spending it on ....blogging....and not sleeping...don't know what's the problem with me....

went back home last weekend, did lots of stuff, family missed me, i missed them too. helped my bro with f maths.....quite a challenge trying to remember the things i easily dumped aside for 1 year plus plus...taught my sister maths too, science, i'm not too good with energy lah....played scrabble.....almost lost to my youngest sis loh.....she put down all her letter 3 times....3 times...loh....

oh then went shopping for hamper items, wrapped a whole hamper myself....


oh yah, my sisters snap-crazy with my handphone....here are the results of their work *drum roll*

simin says no need prepare for interview.....but at least i tried my best.....got the feeling that they aren't going to let me get the post...but at least i tried.....did my part.....will be looking forward to doing foc for pharmacy and usp if i'm not selected.

went to sheares hall today.....very nice. did well for my cyberarts module today....readings are easy to understand and read, so happy. first time the possibility of the rest of usp modules to be not as jialat as my writing module gleamed on me. want to do well for pharm prac, it's the essence of being a pharmacist. want an A...but seeing that's i'm usually a clumsy and careless girl....not very confident of getting an A leh...

oh yah, got offered a chance to act in a crusade production in march.....will be very busy leh.....got class presentation...got food junkie challenge....

new semester, new textbooks....new registration....need mug shots....realised that i have no more mug shots of myself, so one fine day, i put on make-up, went to the instant photo booth at sci canteen and guess what? the machine doesn't accept all the ten one dollar coins i put in.....wah lau make me sweat for nothing....

never mind.....so went to engin....apparently, nobody as hard up as me, the machine hasn't been used for a long while, in the end my photo came out along with quite a bit of iron(III) oxide.....so now in my photos i have lots of black heads and i look like an indian....

ate lunch with an old friend at arts yesterday. he commented that i sound very composed now, mature....ie old liao.....*cry cry* last sem, i was among the freshies, now, old already, planning for next intake of freshies somemore, and some of them older than me.....

just came back from dispensing practice.........wah the lab tech talk sooo slow....took one hour to brief us on everything and demo everything...in the end, saliva started forming white strands on the sides of his lips somemore....but then amazingly, he still finished faster than the other lab techs. dispensing medicine is like doing surgery like that.....everything must be sterile and clean....balance must be level....and mine was not loh....spent sooo much time trying to adjust it, and i noticed that it's wobbly only after i weighed out my second pile of powder....eng liao loh....

then was fighting against time to finish dispensing just 2 kinds of medicine, btw, we did aspirin and charcoal today. got to grind them and wrap them up in nice little packets. and the lab tech very free, down there, pciking up the mic every few minutes, "we all should be at your second medicine now"....how not to be nervous, plus any slips or mistakes will cost me my grade.....which i intend to get an A- min for it....the marking system is ridiculous....!

so, to cheer me up went to buy myself a cheese cake at fuzion, you all should come down to pgp and eat at fuzion one of these days.

tomorrow vulcan outing to chinatown....better finish all my homework first.

oh yah, did i mention that i bumped into my yr 4 pharm seniors today and got to do some publicising for my FOOD JUNKIE CHALLENGE? and they were quite interested....yay!!!

got interview in an hour....better prepare. cannot let simin down.

what does the following mean?

"It simply means you have 50% more chance than our prev class of meeting that special someone for you!"

went to Esplanade on thusday....got inspired by my cyberarts class....took some pictures with my not-so-good hp camera...first 3 pictures are art works by this china guy....


words in speech bubble: you know what? i don't think we are meant for each other


words in speech bubble:I know, safety first...


words in speech bubble:Don't worry, it will be better..


this one....just for fun....

just received this chain email....whose pictures one of my classmates used for presentation in class.......i'll be damned if the teacher thought really well of him.

like Faith, very happy with the small gathering we had today, though it's not in the name of vulcans.....hahaha, had fun suaning amy, .....but we didn't go too far rite? we all love her..... anyway...must post these on....photos taken by Faith.....hahaha





oh yah.......by Jeremy's instructions, i'm supposed to tell you all that jeremy made chicken soup for my cold, so that i will get well and go for my meeting and night cycling tmr......

also found out that my chem lecturer doesn't like me....prefer boys....inquisitive boys....inquisitive girls......not his taste.....
went for the dry run for my pharmacy event which is coming up on 8th Feb, Sunday. it's this thingy whereby you form a group of 4 or 6 and go to the designated places to eat diff kinds of foods.....like food galore....i'm trying to convince my president to allow outsiders to participate.....heh heh.... good food leh........

Feel so happy that i can post pictures...............

want to post more...maybe one pic a day?? hehe, a pic speak a thousand words right?

yesterday, Fuzion cafe at PGP opened.....the place is very very nice.......all those who don't stay in pgp must come visit the place some time too......it's like the bestest place in nus.....

got new handphone with camera, so naturally i'll be excited about it. and faith has kindly taught me how to add pics, so i shall honour her.......by presenting..............

Faith's chessing playing tactic:



ie. use nature's very own law of symmetry.....hahaha, faith, we had a good laugh.....

hi people, i know i've been really "dead" for a while............but, but i got excuse one.....cuz in malaysia my home computer is very very slow....so i don't have the patience to check all my mail, reply, and update blog....let alone read, sorry.....promise i'll make for it...............now that i'm back in hostel............feels...............GREAT!!

yah, got much more acquainted with my bf's family.......so far so good....

was really coincidental, yesterday when my father drove over to pgp to help me move in, jeremy was moving in at the same time............didn't arrange for it....honest!

aniway, got myself a new handphone.....nokia 3200!! paid a price for it though.....a bit high....but all the more i love my new handphone....wonders how to insert pics into this blog.....

yah.........so i'm very happy now....except that i've been warned that since i might fall into the warning list of usp, i better buck up...hahaha. cannot get economic policy......not enough points how?????

hello world.

let me tell you a story about a boy and a girl. there exists, a certain boy, who loved this ordinary girl so much, so much more than ved himself. he gave her all the food she loved even though he liked to eat them as well. he scrimped and save in everything he used, so that he could splurge on her whenever he had the chance. he was always there to provide any support she needed. all he wanted was to keep her by his side always.
the ordinary girl basked in his love. but she just couldn't be satisfied. she always wanted more, more understanding, more consideration. the more she wanted the less she gave. nonetheless, the boy still gave more...when she finally claimed that the boy was bullying her. she broke his little heart. the word "hurt" inflicted pain to both when he told her "you've hurt me"

the ordinary girl couldn't give him anything in return, for the time he gave, she took and used it. for his money, she took and claimed as hers. for his love, she took and didn't return. yet all he wanted was for her to be there. but she as never there where he needed her.

to this extraordinary boy, it was ok to see her fault. to the ordinary girl, the only way she was going to be good enough for him was to cover all her faults so that she could forge a worthy partner for the boy to love.


however, me thinks the boy should just go find somebody more compatible and worthy of his love.

i need a tea break.

on my way home, i was thinking of what happened yesterday, i'm so overwhelmed by what happened, i was quite silent today. yet, i didn't want to think too much coz the moment i tot it, i'll forget about it just as soon. but, writing it down doesn't help coz i write too slow.

can't believe how besotted i am of this guy. he has me thinking of him all the time. and yet...he likes to poke fun at me at the expense of my ego. enough people who know me, know that i have a larger than average dose of ego. and the reason it stays is that i don't give a hoot about what most people think. and yet, this guy, this one whom i've open up to, he pokes fun at me. forever bringing up the event that i fell for this crap in which he was making up a news report, exaggerating the extent of malaysia's foolishness. he is more well read than me, and i trusted every word he said. so i believed, only to be laughed at. i was hurt, but never mind, i attributed it to my inability to discern between truth and fiction, in his words, my malaysian genes....which ultimately meant, to him, stupidity.

from then on, i had doubted everything he said, except for the fact that he loved me. becoz somehow, he had convinced me of the fact with more than just words, with actions and emotions which took a great actor to forge.

i've always taken his jibes at my intelligence light-heartedly but little does he know that i'm seriously hurt that he thinks so little of me. nonetheless, it's a fact that he does well academically. but i'm still hurt all the same.

last night i tot he was bring another joke on me with the story of mormons. he said it was true but i didn't believe it as he did try to trick me into thinking i accidentally locked myself out of my room before. it took a certain amount of disbelief before he finally revealed his trick. the doubt ended when he claimed how hurt he was that i didn't trust him. he'd spend money on ornamental objects so as to see the momentary happiness and surprise on my face when he presented them to me. and yet i didn't love him enough to trust him.

that was the breaking point, i;ve cried the third time in his presence even since october. i've never cried in front of my ex. i don't want to appear like a cry baby, something i consider a weakness, it's something guys attribute to girls. being me, i've always wanted to oppose that belief, i was not going to let him see me cry another time!

and yet, the way he calls my name, with that desperate urgency and anxiousness made the last wall of defence which i had wanted to build collapse and i wept somemore. i wept somemore.

got chronic flu......terrible.......not pneumonia cuz it's not THAT terrible. noticed that FAITH is still the only one reading and commenting on my blog conscienciously.....thanks girl, i feel so encouraged, you're the reason this blog is still alive......mostly.....if not totally.....

love giving out presents, it feels great being santa claus....or santarina.....love shopping, love buying, love giving....just....need...money....which is a very exhaustive matter....*digs head under pillow and think*

was thinking...

if someone dear were to leave us forever now, would you grieve? Is grievance a choice, whether to express our feelings for not, or a choice of well-being?

situation 1: you sob uncontrollably because you feel so sad... and all your friends try to comfort you.

Situation 2: you be the strong one. no tears for you.

yet however, grieving seems to be an emotional release. if one doesn't grief, the feelings of lost can be very upsetting and haunt you all the time for years to come. maybe, taking time off to grieve, not cry, maybe a little, but to grieve and sort out your tots....maybe that grieving time is needed by everyone for the soul....

(don't ask me why the topic, the human brain twists and tosses so many times before we speak)

Green You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

"the last class of my old professor's life took place once a week in his home, by a window, in his study, where he could watch a small hibiscus plant shed its pink flowers. The class met on tuesdays. No books were required. The Subject was the meaning of life. It was taught from experience. The teaching goes on."

--"Tuesdays with Morrie"
Mitch Albom

Idol


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

locked myself out of my room 4 times this sem already...today just happened to chance upon one of the fine payment letters that pgp has sent to me. wah, cham....but how to cure my forgetfulness???

yes, i'm back at my laptop at nus....free usage of internet...felt so restricted at home...use one hour siblings start to stare at what i'm doing online, use 2 hours, "jie ah, why use so long one"....don't find it enough at all. free usage is so much better. i do love free internet usage...(oh no, assimilating the hypnopaedic styles of characters in Brave New world)....

went to see doc today. now medicine is taking effect....my eye lids are getting heavy....heavy...but must do some work because tomorrow, i'm going to watch matrix revolutions!!! yay, didn't get to watch the sequel to it the last time so am watching the marathon thingy...so nice, my bf booked tickets, knowing i didn't watch the sequel...ok, he's not stupid, he can take hints...hahaha...he can't let any hints slip by cuz that will give me reason to say he's slow...and apparently, there's this joke saying singaporeans are smarter than malaysians and he's out to prove that right....oh well, shall wait and see.

achieved lots of leisure points yesterday. got to eat my fav laksa from the shop near my house...actually wanted to eat either the chicken rice or the wanton mee, but...think think, i have a greater craving for laksa...so went to eat, dun mind having the sore throat now, heh. oh, then went to play mahjong with my sister and cousin...i won 10 games out of 24 hehehe...but no money involved. got clean fun. then later baked a chocolate almond cake....then proceeded to cook dinner....(so long never cook with a real flame, pgp all heaters) cooked fries, peppered fish tempura, honeyed hot dogs...wah....cooking is fun you know....the food tastes a great deal better too...hahaha, no offence to my mom..!

i'm BACK....everything i write it's either i'm very happy or troubled....now, i'm very troubled. i really dun know how my term paper will turn out...draft due this sat, fri i'm going to mug for my anat test which is on sat itself. how? don't know what direction and thesis statement to adopt. very worried i will fault. ....and then i just cannot type anything out on the word document....stare at it for two whole days barely got a working outline.....doesn't help that i have a connexus editor beside me....i just....can't write something good.....i mean, how to bring the theme of literature and ethics and conditioning together in the book of Brave New World......

but....school is ending...."ending"....reading period is drawing near...i'm scared but not as scared of the essay than my exams....so...think next sem, take more examinable subjects....i'm better at mugging than racking my brains....if there's something to rack on....getting stressed....feel like chopping off my hair... but it barely grew long enough for me to flaunt.

tsk tsk tsk.....

i feel good about myself today....made a point to drink some milk, some vitagen, pink dolphin vitamised water, ate less than yesterday.....(ate at swensens, until i really really couldn't touch the banana split...although i liked it alot alot....but too full). plus, conditioned my hair, did a mask, putting an end to envy bash...finishing the reports!!!finally can get down to publicising the badminton tournament...hopefully i can get 50 sign-ups. went down to nussu secreteriat to get the posters apporved and stamped (personally by Sin Chang).....feels good......plus Dg too.....and i joined friendster.......OMG, friendster is very very addictive. only thing, didn't do any work....checked my test scores....i'm the 32th in a class of 87......not very good not very bad either. and i received more flowers.....life is good. (did i mentioned my mom called too?)

i love life.....but ...i hate to fail

i got last in class for my first physio test. the one i went to ice skate the sat before, the one i didn't study for coz i was finishing my usp essay, the one i had to write essays with a strained left wrist.

was so upset about it i went to the co-op, bought 2 packets of the hello panda choclate biscuits and finshed then in one fell swoop. i don't usually eat so much chocolate. after i finished with it, i was so sedated i fell asleep. the bad spell stayed with me until after the pharmaceutical society meeting ended....i think by then my depressed mood was more due to my inability to get anything done than because i did so badly for my test.

anyway, my anat test was last sat.....got the results....slightly above average in class. but still, i need to work harder.

[continue later, going to watch Underworld now]

[am back....=)]

underworld the movie is very scary....non stop action....scary...i'm not the very timid kind you know....but to best enjoy the movie leave your common sense at home including all military training and biology knowledge....if i'm not overcomed by fatigue, i don't think i can sleep just thinking about the movie...

but i like vampire movies...

back to all my mountain of work..

am very stressed now.....

sat morning (today) had anatomy test....studied most of it the day before and one impt chapter sometime earlier in the week, and lo and behold i forgot everything i studied in that chapter...i'm regretting it....supposed to be a damn easy paper but i guess i'm going to score quite averagely in it...sigh...

it's not comforting news that 2 out of 4 or my classamates who are also in usp are planning to drop usp.

and on monday got another test. need to submit an essay tmr night...haven't started on it. die

am still blaming myself for the marketing screw up. does not help that people are opening telling me i'm wrong. i know it, just that i feel less terrible when people try to tell you,no it's not entirely your fault....

AND, i'm so stressed about my badminton tournament....tried to book a court but.....all the courts were booked already....now have to postpone it again....don't know how to tell my president....if i try to hold it next next week, everybody will be preparing for tests.....postpone indefinitely...???it just doesn't put my mind to rest.....makes me feel so so so much like a failure....my first event and it just doesn't work out. and the other subcom seems to be doing really well. the marketing side of nusps seem to be getting their replys and all from their sponsors...the thing is....some of my members are in those other coms too... i'm so worried that they might think i'm very inefficient.

advice anybody??

yah loh wanling, i'm too busy for updates...

was telling rena and simin yesterday in the reading room that nowadays got nothing to rite about other than my "candestine" relationship. but there's got to be something more to my life than him rite.....cannot let him dominate my life...but what to do...see each other everyday, eat dinner together.

shall start with last friday...went to yong ping's bbq at east coast...pleasant surprise to see ron there...is that his name? he reminds me of this guy that my best friend had a crush on in jc...but that guy's a prc...very talented one at that. that was the start of a very boring weekend....boring relative to the birthday weekend i had last year...last year my bday was on fri, this year on sat...wonder if next year will be on sun...so lucky huh?

(interrupt this to mention that just now during dg, they promised to get me a cake next week...and i'm supposed to think of 3 wishes...can't think of that many....any suggestions?)

yah then build up to envy bash...not very exciting, waited like the whole day and excitement just wasn't mounting,.....only thing that was interesting is the temasek hall dance...the song was stuck in my head for 3 days....until white flag by dido took over.

aftermath of bash is looking better now....so glad the seniors are helping...i wouldn't know what to do...faith was there when i was feeling worst....thanks SO MUCH gal...

find that i like mugging....like the feeling of completing all my tuts and going ahead in class...managed to build a good impression on my physical pharm lecturess...not too bad for my organic chem lecturer...he's starting to rem our faces from this picture class list...so scary, didn't know they had such things for each lecturer to refer to...so if you need some one to impersonate you...either your photo must be very blur or the person must be your twin/clone. well, the org chem lecturer knows me now...name so simple and easy...the lab tech nows me too....for making most noise during prac and posing them most questions...

went to ikea on sunday...bought this gothic looking metallic tea light/candle holder...has got stars all over it, moderate number lah...appeals to me...

went to jec yesterday, bought 2 pairs of very AA earing...long and dangling...rem to catch me wearing it...

came across this clothes shop which i found very tempting to buy their clothes only thing was that their prices all started with 2....so....but the salesgirl kept passing me nice tops to try on....OHHHH....could you all imagine how hard it was for me to say....NO, i don't want to buy. but i managed in the end...yay..

have decided to go for this camp from dec 8-13th...sounds very fun...this is the website..go look at it....then we can go for the camp together...heh
http://meta.everystudent.com.sg

very tired.

conquered kent ridge park...and reached pasir panjang road after dinner. and i forgot there's a meeting today.

at 5pm i was like....is there a meeting today? then i checked my diary...no...little did i realise that i didn't update my diary recently....darn...spoil my perfect attendance..

then again, got two very happy things to celebrate...i did well for my physicochem drug action module...one of the tests i took with a sprained left wrist.....got an average mark....32/40...a bit low for my expectations...means i need to work hard but i'm not that stupid in class.... and more importantly, YAYAYAY i finally got the ASEAN undergrad scholarship....yay.....took a big load of my mom's back....

start of new week.....find that i'm dreading to go to my usp module forum......it's like i have to comment but i can't think of something to write everything i go to the forum i have no frame of mind to do any critical thinking. and then i just procrastinate and procrastinate....

just came back from orchard....finally caught pirates of carribean...johnny depp very funny...surprised me alot that cine was sold out for the 9pm show...

took 14 back...quite a short journey....

now it's the start of a new week... a busy one...must buck up and push more contact with my sponsor coz she's too busy for me....and then after this week must plan for the badminton tournament then after that must start serious mugging for my CAs.....so i have to turn down my social life....heard that??as much as i hate to do so....everybody must help me implement this ah...

dejavu....

totally subscribe to the belief that negatives compliment the positives....like lack of something makes having a greater pleasure.

always have this problem of saying no to people....can't bear to say no...in the end i suffer the consequences of my weakness....too little sleep, i end up having a very weak immune system...from my already weak constitution...

yeah, had a good seminar session for my lit class today despite not preparing for it at all, all thanks to the 4 hours of sleep i got just before i went for lesson. sort of impressed the "biggest" threat in class...not really, but i felt that it's a personal thing....a self confidence thingy.

think must start mugging for my upcoming exams and draft my essay too...so i dun get to tied up when the deadline approaches, talking about this, i think must start doing my practical reports too.

am attending nussu agm now....faith thank god you decided that you don't want to and cannot come for this this is so boring....but all thanks to the laptops provided by wanling and marc...books, food etc...it's still quite bearable....not to mention the company lah...the last row occupied by vulcans...

i kind of derived a liking to people identifying sickness in me....proves that i'm so ill that it shows on my face...but i'm happy that i'm still surviving the stress and physical limitations.

talking about stress...i blame my present stress level on src...!@#$%^

am revisiting Queen of the damned, did i ever mentioned that i totally love anne rice's vampire chronicles? but i realised that i've forgotten a lot about all the characters in the chronicles...i only rem pandora and marius, who are, quite obviously my favourite characters.

am participating in a ppol competition tmr, hope i dun make a big foool out on my amatuer skills. haha

realised that this blog is no longer a safe haven for my thoughts anymore, esp someone...but then again when was this place "safe".

am very sick...think my mom foresaw this. she told me i was as pale as a sheet during the weekend...made so much chicken soup for me to drink at home...but in vain, this only managed to delay the onset of flu symptoms till today.

am letting my quality of work decline...usually i take pride in my work...not...it's really hard to be proud of anything i do. feeling quiting my ecas...but i'm already half way sucked in...

WHY CANT I GET A BADMINTON COURT!!!!!

have to delay/postpone the badminton tournament i'm organising indefinitely...my first project and such a failure. hate myself for that.

more reason to hate myself...i look bad in the first photo i took with him...sharks.!!

some more reason: may be someone can list more for me

was actually very happy on tues...went shopping, at metro, and watsons...bought skin care pdts which i normally dun need/use at all, going old. metro had sale, nice clothes...sale plus i had a voucher...buy buy buy

bought this very cute singing/moving unicorn soft toy which i saw a while ago...love it. wonders whether i should give it away or not. nobody buys soft toys for themselves rite?

went jogging to west coast too. man, i really declined in stamina...cannot even run out of nus campus, i think i only ran 1.6 km....failure...but west coast was very nice...nice playground but lots of mosquitoes *scratch scratch*

sick still...

slept 3 hours only last night....how come everybody is so surprised that i bother to wake up for my 8am lectures....actually if i start skipping lectures....what's the point of staying on campus.

am so glad i'm finally spending time at home....slacking....no essays fighting to complete....somehow i think cca work is slacking....will have to go shopping for the food hampers tomorrow...hahaha, giving out food hampers as prizes. inspired idea from one of my friends....this way prizes look big and won't exceed our budget...am glad my sub com is growing...in numbers and in efficiency...yay....

came home, found candle wax everywhere on the porch....think my sisters had a nice maf this yr...mine wasn't that bad either...had 3 celebrations thruout the week...

need to be more resolute about studying and sleeping more...if not i'll slip into a 3rd week of sleeping 3 hours everyday...mind over temptations...mind over temptations.....

so happy today that witnessing turned out really well.

actually the tougher cases were handled by another person...so i was left with the more prepared hearts. . . talked to my classmates too...so nice, we were witnessing to these other two girls at the pharmacy branch of science then my classmates just came and sat down, and i started evangelising to her....it's like she was brought to me....brought to God....then more and more of my classmates attending the same gem came....so happy...

then got so many people who stay at pgp too....got my bible today too....so excited i'm going to read esther....my mom's name...

didn't know evangelising so exciting.....

So long never blog.....kind of miss blogging. it's like although it's a bit of a hussle maintaining this....a blog is sort of a pensieve to me....

so happy to get my beloved laptop back.....just like it when people comment how small and slim my laptop is, how cool i can put in it into a box file and bring it around...hehehehe.....and i like the look of it too....nice nice...=)

can't rem all i want to post here liao....but i've been exploring nus compound more...esp the transport system out of here.....

am sleeping less and less.....before last week i sleep usually at 1am....now it's 3 am...coz whole day chit chatting.....but i enjoy it....

found someone who resembles my ex....bad thing is, i find myself liking him. which probably means i still haven't got over my ex...worse, i seem to see him/purposely see him everyday. bad bad bad....

we are both fans of holland v....so everytime i have something on at night...that i can't watch the show..he will record it down on his laptop then i'll go to his room to watch it when i come back....which is about 10pm.....then last night was some maf thing at pgp. one senior jioed me to go for it, so i jioed everybody i knew down too....so he went too...

i really cannot believe this guy loh. half way disappeared, so i carried on with my other friends....later, got a lantern, so went exploring the pgp back gate to sci park with this other friend A. came back, saw him waving from the second level gym.....excuse: program too boring so i went to gym....

later another friend not staying at pgp joined us with a lantern....wanted to go walk ard...so we entertained him. walk walk walk half way rained heavily....so the 4 of us stranded at a bus stop. the friend took a bus and left for home just before it rained....

was quite cold and wet there...strong winds...the seats were wet....quite bad loh...and i promised to sleep early at 10 pm....we start walking at 10pm....got stranded till 11.30 was so sleepy liao....in the drizzle, started walking briskly back...reached sci park, rain again...in the end i think everybody dying to get back liao...so that guy offered to shelter me with his windbreaker. it wasn't until he guarranteed that i will be dry till we reach our block that i gave way....

the logic behind it.....it's quite confusing...if u feel something special for that girl/guy, we tend to purposely avoid her/him cuz u feel conscious about it....others you regard as friends....you just dun realise.....

reach the back gate.....realised it's locked....wanted to climb over but met with violent objections from me...so walk to KR hall then walk the long long way way the A1 bus route.....that really got me hungry. but good thing was, i was kept warm by the windbreaker....no flu yet....only headache...

we're going to chinablack on thurs.

Am mugging in the med library!!!was mugging.....

i'm going into serious studying now, next week is my first CA....

how's life everyone? feels refreshed after going home this weekend. realised that my bro misses me too....haha, he was telling me this long story about how he and his friends played basketball...with no special incident happening whatsoever. guess he was just finding something to talk about.....hahaha.

on the other hand, i've added another shameless event to my life this weekend.......i can't believe it!