Yimei, bench mate, using falling sphere viscometer

nothing to do.. so went around taking pictures... beauty queen of pharmacy...

Josh never fails to reply a poem with a poem. this is fro m him.

"Artist, desperate
To capture a fresh essence
Paints with waters, just. "

desperate implies having nothing, painting with water draws Nothing.

just returned from the tv room. saw zhonghe and this girl he's been hanging out with the whole day, inside. thinkest me, they are going to be a couple. watched parliment news and singapore idol results... very boring... then played bridge. all this after i returned from the gym. quite satisfied with myself. i even read thru all my law tut before going to the gym and did laundry and folded all the clothes after that. =)

for a start, after a long break from the gym, 40 mins workout is quite ok lah... realise that my fitness really cannot make it... 5 mins on the step master, and i cannot take it anymore. did 15 mins on the stationary bike and then 1.6km.... think must go and swim again... my arms are accumulating fats again... and i want to get nicer thighs...

i think i'm really growing old... my taste of radio stations have changed from perfect 10 to class 95.

oh shit... deleted a whole lot of crap i typed in about last night's dance escapade. whatever. shall whine about the amount of work i need to do and at the same time make a list:

econs term paper proposal
econs response paper
pharmacy law project powerpoint presentation
physical pharmacy research summary
lsm tut
pharm law tut
dispensing practical report
dosage form practical report.... die.... seems like a lot... i better get started.

got so angry today, my face muscles ached from frowning... and smiling... smiling because i kept bumping into people i know and i had to smile... to say hi at least. then i had to pinch and massage the face muscles until my face was red.... i was only short of throwing stuff. but firstly i only have my file in my hands, and i don't want to spoil it, its the last usable one i have. no place to threw it at while shouting and scolding.

long fingernails... feel like slapping a person... anybody so that i can leave fingernail scratch marks on the cheeks... evil! i know. but this is something i think of and not act on.

"...when the spark has died
and life hath ceased to be
would you choose, oh would you?
choose to lie by me..."

got this from a friend's blog.... so sweetly sad....

Experienced two vastly different turns of fate in 2 days. Yesterday, or rather, friday was USP DnD. was an very nice experience... lecturers turned up... all in a jolly mood... lots of people, friendly people, people i know. Freshies met up again... Jeremy accompanied me to Dnd, eventhough none of his og went. took lots of bangles....can make the very nice tingling sounds of thin metal colliding with each other...jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock!....jingle bell too for leoel who really dared to wear a santa claus suit for the theme of hollywood/bollywood. i was too shy to let my spag strap hawaiian top stand alone...so i borrowed a shawl from wanling and drapped it around me all the time. and jeremy was the fashion design of how the shawl shall be draped around me so that i can eat, move, not let the shawl get in the way or get dirty and making it stay for the longest time... not to mention the asthetics of it.

got to watch a full dressed rehearsal of the rag dance too! i think it was great...and then Jeremy accompanied me to Thawu bar(R&B and hip hop music) too... although he insisted that he doesn't drink and club... he still did so... at a minimal level... just so that i enjoy myself....so for the third time since we met each other.... we danced and grooved on the dance floor... to mark the one year aniversary since we met each other at the tv room watching holland V.... how time flies. had an enjoyable time. but the beautiful fascade broke when pharmacy agm started....

a member of my sports and social sub-com is running for president and he indirectly implied many times in his speech and answers to questions from the floor that i have been very incapable as the sports and social director in bring the pharmacy undergraduate community together as i have not "encouraged active participation by feedback". and he wants to organise a sports carnival for the different sub-coms to increase interaction between the sub-coms.... but in the first place, all the members of the sub-coms are almost the same group of people and all of them are from the same class!!!!!more and more stuff accumulated until i tot i could get a heart attack...all the work i put in for pharmacy.... wasted....wasted even more because even my own sub-com members don't appreciate it....i was heartbroken.

what was more shattering was that i found out that i was unofficially sacked from focc later during union ball. although i admit that i didn't do much...but there's still some...now the mask has been lowered... i finally see the true colours of the union ball pd. to think that i was ready to change my opinion of him and regard him as a friend...to think that he's so friendly to me... all this while. the whole menu of UB was seafood and more seafood. the only dish which contained no seafood come rite when i found out about my state of employment by the focc. devastated. but still, jeremy offered an escape..i didn't take it. how can nussu mean so much to me when i mean so little to it. i continued to attend the dinner till the very end...suffering can be a source of pride sometimes...maybe James Phelan has a point sometimes.

i need to sleep, my eyes hurt.

Jeremy gave away my bible....says that i don't use it anyway. i'm hurt that he goes around telling people that. true i don't conduct QT consistently, not even often now... but the prsence of the bible in my room gives me a sense of security, that God is with me all the way, he's there to comfort me when i'm so tired yet i have so much work to do. when i'm seriously distressed, i can flip the pages of his word... to just read a verse or so... and jeremy gave it away. now i'm away from my family, from jeremy and from the bible. the last semblance of christianity in me. he gave it away.

i'm hurt, a friend brushes me aside whenever i try to go nearer figuratively. i betrayed another friend... and more friend don't talk to me for fear that i gossip. it's all my fault. i shall receed into the background/into my shell again... too many friends...i can't handle. can't handle.

Dawn, miss NUS 2003

jeremy finally bought me my first bikini set... even though it's not my birthday yet....and agreed to buy me the expensive dancing shoes....but i shall spare him the agony...

friend wanling...our long island tea girl...on our way to the hoobastank concert at sentosa

CArys and mE wearing pink tops on the same day....attending a very boring life sci lecture

juniors did a great job with the banner... too good to be true i think... the department must thank them for it...

found this nice bear at shop n save...it costs $16....so nice... but jeremy doesn't want to buy anymore soft toys for me... i think i have too many also

Friend, Leoel bleached his hair

then dyed it red....

Lime, Orange, Coconut, Peanut and Rum&Raisin

went to sensen's for dinner despite the fact that we have to save money

lightstick in my room