Evil Twin Astrology

AQUARIUS - Jan 20-Feb 18:

You have an inventive mind & are inclined to be progressive. You lie a
great deal. On the other hand you are inclined to be careless &
impractical causing you to make the same mistakes over & over again. People
think you are stupid.



PISCES - Feb 19-Mar 20:

You have a vivid imagination & often think you are being followed by
the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates & people
resent you for your flaunting of your power. You lack confidence & are
generally a coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.




ARIES - Mar 21-Apr 19:

You are the pioneer type & hold most people in contempt. You are
quick-tempered, impatient & scornful of advice. You are not very nice.



TAURUS - Apr 20-May 20:

You are practical & persistent. You have a dogged determination & work
like hell. Most people think you are stubborn & bullheaded. You are a
Communist.




GEMINI - May 21-June 20:

You are a quick & intelligent thinker. People like you because you are
bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little.
This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.




CANCER - June 21-July 22:

You are sympathetic & understanding to other people's problems. They
think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why
you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer
people.




LEO - July 23-Aug 22:

You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most
Leo people are bullies. You are vain & dislike honest criticism. Your
arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are known thieves.




VIRGO - Aug 23-Sep 22:

You are the logical type & hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening
to your friends. You are cold & unemotional & sometimes fall asleep
while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.




LIBRA - Sep 23-Oct 22:

You are the artistic type & have a difficult time with reality. If you
are a man you are more than likely queer. Chances for employment &
monetary gain are excellent. Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All
Libras die of venereal disease.




SCORPIO - Oct 23-Nov 21:

You're shrewd in business & cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the
pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio
people are murdered.




SAGITTARIUS - Nov 22-Dec 21:

You are optimistic & enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely
on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks
or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.





CAPRICORN - Dec 22-Jan 19:

You are conservative & afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of
anything & are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.
Capricorns should avoid standing still too long as they tend to take
root & become trees